Monkeyin' Around

... Spoiler Alert! ... Spoiler Alert! ...

If you haven't yet seen (and you intend to see) episode 12 of The Amazing Race Series 9 (TAR 9), do not read any further!


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The last TAR 9 episode we saw here in Australia ended with the FHG, or Freaky Hippy Guys (AKA BJ & Tyler), again being the last team to reach the pit stop but again being fortunate enough to be saved by a non-elimination round. (This means they’re the only team to be saved by a non-elimination round for this series, as ‘the non-elimination round’ twist is only played twice each season, and to my knowledge they’re the first team to be saved by both non-eliminations.) The pit stop was located at Lake Bennett Wilderness Resort "in the Australian outback" near Darwin, in the Northern Territory of Australia.

For the record, this was the order in which the teams reached Phil on the mat last episode, and the order in which they started this leg of the race:

1. TBC – Token Black Couple [“No Alternate Nickname”] (Ray & Yolanda)
2. BFG – Buff Frat Guys [“The Frats”] (Eric & Jeremy)
3. DWC – Dating WASP Couple [“Team MoJo”] (Joseph & Monica)
4. FHG – Freaky Hippy Guys [“The Hippies”] (BJ & Tyler)

Note: If you're already ahead of this point in the series, please refrain from giving any spoilers in your comments. Thank you.

As always, I’ll provide my thoughts on each team in this episode, listing them in the order in which they arrived at the pit stop (hence the 'Spoiler Alert!').


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1. Freaky Hippy Guys (FHG) – it was the best thing in the world when these guys picked up the Fast Forward. Actually, it was the best thing in the world when the TBC gave up on the Fast Forward. Actually, it was the best thing in the world when the DWC made a few stupid decisions in this leg that cost them their precious lead on the FHG. Oh, how I enjoyed Team MoJo’s failures in this leg, after Monica’s childish and truth-skewering portrayal of the facts to Phil at the end of the last episode. I think that Joseph and Monica got their comeuppance this week. But let’s get back to ‘my boys’, BJ and Tyler. I reported last week that BJ was without shoes at the end of the last leg. Well, it turned out that I had grossly underestimated just how bad their position was! In truth, BJ had neither shoes nor pants! I hadn’t realised this was the case. Of course, they also had no money, and it was pleasing to see that Australians (mostly teenagers out clubbing at 1:30am) weren’t “too stingy” to give away $20 at a time to a couple of near-naked American derelicts with a camera crew following them around the streets of Darwin in the early hours of the morning. And what of the lovely Yolanda leaving BJ her ‘spare pants’! The purple ones he apparently loves so much! How darling was that?! Even the Frats surprised me with their generosity by leaving BJ a spare pair of sandals. So what if they thought it was a token gesture that would do them no real good anyway ... it was more than they were obliged to do (maybe their lesson on karma last week when they rang up and cancelled those taxis – only to have their own not show up either – actually sunk in about how to treat others); they didn’t have to do it but chose to do it anyway. I almost expected the DWC to swipe these possessions that had been left on the Hippies’ windshield, but I guess some tricks are too low even for them. In contrast to the other two teams’ generosity, Team MoJo was still spiteful about the Yield. Monica sneering ‘and they Yielded us!’ yet again just made me wish ill upon her even more. And naturally enough, when the FHG saw that the pants and sandals had been left for them by the TBC and the BFG, they knew that Joseph and Monica had left them nothing. BJ said that Team MoJo had a date with not being in the game anymore, to which Tyler replied, “We’ve had that date – but it stood us up.” As they were collecting their money from the clubbing Aussies on the street, I was most amused by the woman who teased BJ with some money if he’d: “Take it off! Take it off!”, only to immediately change her chant to “Put it on! Put it on!” as he complied. He was humoured by the gag, but clearly also a little embarrassed to have fallen for it. Thankfully, she still gave him the money, so I trust he won’t think back to the moment with any kind of distain towards Australians. It’s just our special brand of humour, you see. Thanks to the Darwin Airport being this leg’s ‘airport equaliser’, the FHG were able to catch up to the other teams, and although they missed out on boarding the same flight to Thailand as the others, seats opened up on a flight that arrived earlier (except that they still ended up landing forty-five minutes after rest of them due to changes in both flights' ETAs), and then a mistake from the DWC and some good fortune/timing by the FHG meant that the guys had a start on the bickering WASP couple that left the former team way out in front. Interestingly, we didn’t hear either BJ or Tyler bickering about Joseph and Monica and making snide, gleeful comments about the dating couple’s downfall or misfortune. I think there’s something in that for all of us. When BJ and Tyler reached the Fast Forward first, I knew things were looking up for the pair. They always seem to bounce back due to their high spirits and good-natured approach to the race (and life, if their interviews to camera are to be believed). Things started to look a little more dicey when Yolanda seemed so ‘into’ the Fast Forward challenge, but when she and Ray decided to cut their losses and return to the normal part of the race, I relaxed once again. I didn’t think Ray was right when he said the Fast Forward challenge would take the Hippies three hours, although maybe he was trying his best to instill an air of confidence in the other teams that may possibly stretch into overconfidence and work to his advantage. I’d certainly understand and respect this, if that was his intention. But when BJ started to balk at the idea of completing the Fast Forward challenge, and then Tyler started to do the same thing, I briefly became worried again. Thankfully, they did not give up and instead went on to reach Phil at the pit stop first, just as God intended. But what about that Fast Forward challenge, eh?! Eating a big bowl filled with deep fried crickets and grasshoppers! That’s pretty disgusting, and well done to the Hippsters for managing to work their way through it. I don’t know if I could have done it (honestly, could you?). I kept thinking that if they simply put the things in their mouths, chewed them around for a while (or gave the impression of chewing them around for a while), then vomited / fake-vomited them all up into the conveniently-placed bucket (what’s that saying, by the way, if a bucket’s sitting nonchalantly by your feet in a restaurant?), then it'd be a case of 'job done'. The comment by Tyler, “This guy’s Jiminy”, was pretty funny. I like that the producers of the show are mixing it up a bit in terms of the first place of each leg always winning a prize so that this time it was whichever team got the ‘golden gnome’ in their sealed envelope was the winner of the prize, but it sucked that this had to happen on one of the relatively few times the BFG didn’t win and the FHG did! But let’s not complain too much – I’m very happy that the boys are through to the final three, and indeed that they're in the lead (not that it’ll mean much once all teams are ‘equalised’ in the opening minutes of next week’s episode). I hope they win the race next week.

2. Buff Frat Guys (BFG) – As I said above, I was very surprised (by which I actually mean ‘pleasantly startled’) when Jeremy left his spare sandals on the windscreen of BJ and Tyler’s car. This was an unexpected show of good faith, and although the skeptic in me wants to say at this point that it was clearly a strategic move to keep the Hippies in good spirits in relation to the Frats (particularly if the off-camera discussions between the teams during the ‘mandatory rest period’ had brought to light that it was in fact Eric who rang and cancelled the taxis - and not Joseph, as assumed by the other teams), I still say it was an unnecessary act of kindness, because Yields are no longer a factor in the game and I generally like to think the best of people. (Sort of.) When Eric and Jeremy rather stupidly decided to approach the ‘wild’ monkeys and offer them food, they showed their ignorance of a few important factors. One, we heard Phil say (and I’m only guessing here that something similar was written on their clues, although maybe not on the one they had at this point) that the people of that area of Thailand consider the monkeys sacred (because of where they lived, presumably), so treating them with such common disrespect would have been both sacrilegious and offensive. Two, monkeys (especially those allowed to roam ‘wild’ in a city that wasn’t exactly winner of a Tidy Town Award) are diseased creatures, similar to rats in more ways than their appearance, as I think Ray pointed out. And three, once you let one monkey know that you have food you’re willing to offer to him, he and all the rest of the monkeys will climb all over you to get more of whatever you’re hiding on your person!! Frankly, I can’t believe they didn’t realise they were about to be covered by a swarm of hungry monkeys. Maybe the BFG are more disease-ridden now than they were to begin with! That reminds me of that shot (used two or three times) of the monkeys clambering all over the cluebox, jumping from it and causing it to rock back and forth. I don’t know why this shot amused me so much, but it just showed the lack of respect ‘holy monkeys’ have for the show’s reputation. Tut-tut. (I hope they use that grab in the opening credits of the next series, because it’s really quick and unique and says a lot about some of the places the show visits. The behaviour of the monkeys on the finished tables of food was also hilarious. Mad monkeys! At the gold-leafing-of-the-mini-statue-of-Buddha task, a couple of Jeremy and Eric’s one-liners had me laughing out loud (briefly). This was only fair, because most weeks they’ve made me laugh at something they’ve said, even though I don’t particularly like them (I’d prefer the FHG or the TBC to win over them). When Yolanda asked them why they’d chosen this task rather than the carting-of-the-pottery-jugs one, Jeremy replied, “I gold-leaf a lot in my spare time.” Eric added, “We used to hold gold-leafing parties,” before Jeremy finished with, “We used to get a lot of girls, gold-leafing.” Their jokes are generally one-dimensional (in terms of subject matter), but at least they laugh at themselves somewhat. I just find them amusing and witty, not necessarily admirable examples of human beings. It was no surprise that they managed to come in second (or ‘first’, out of those who didn’t benefit from the Fast Forward – which these guys couldn’t go for because they’d received the first one earlier in the race and no team can use more than one Fast Forward on the entire race). I hope they don’t continue to dominate in the final leg next week (although they probably will, grumblegrumblegrumble …)! I hope they come third next week.

3. Token Black Couple (TBC) – in my humble opinion, these guys made a crucial mistake when deciding not to go through with the Fast Forward and doubling back. I feared that this would mean they were going to be eliminated and we’d be forced to see our good buddies the Hippies go up against two of the three yuckiest teams in the whole season (the other being Lake and Michelle). Thankfully, no matter how bad that decision was, the DWC’s decision not to ask the woman at the counter if she sold the right bus tickets and the decision to do the pottery task were more stupid again. It was a pretty boring week for the TBC (why do I feel like I’ve written that – or something very much like it – before?!), and this is evidenced by the fact that my full page of notes on the show contains just two references to the TBC: that they managed to catch a taxi straight away when alighting from the ferry, while the BFG had to run “for two miles” before they found one, and that they had the mysterious gold gnome, winning them a wonderful holiday in Australia, including a Sydney cruise, a trip to the Hunter Valley, and some diving at the Great Barrier Reef. Lovely! If these guys don’t watch themselves, they’re going to completely disappear in the next episode. It’s almost just a race between the Frats and the Hippies now, isn’t it. Maybe the TBC will pull an ace out of their sleeve, but it’s gonna have to be a pretty impressive last-minute surprise, because we haven’t seen much in the way of startling game-play so far. I hope they come second next week.

4. Dating WASP Couple (DWC): ELIMINATED! – almost the first words out of Monica’s mouth were bitter little insults directed at BJ and Tyler having ‘Yielded’ them in the last episode. Is she aware that it’s a game? What was she expecting? Especially when we just know she was going to Yield the Hippies if she and Joseph had beaten BJ and Tyler to the mat instead of taking their time to carefully park their car first! I was very amused when Joseph declared that their taxi in Thailand scared him. This marks at least two occasions when he has indicated he might not be too confident with taxi drivers. Perhaps he’s a bad passenger (I don’t remember ever seeing Monica drive ...), because back in one of the first episodes he was losing it with a slow taxi driver. But the thought of big, bad ol’ Joseph being scared of taxis brought a smile to my face. Turns out he had a good reason to be wary of their driver, though, because he’s the tool who told them the window that was open didn’t sell tickets to where they needed to go (apparently costing them the midnight bus, if the editing is to be believed), and this meant that they went back to find a hotel rather than keep up with the TBC and the BFG. Even the FHG, who were behind the DWC, managed to get an earlier bus to catch up with the other two teams waiting by the cluebox that was under the close scrutiny of all those rabid monkeys, while Joseph and Monica were content to take the taxi driver’s word for it (after all, what did he have to benefit from it? Besides an extra fare to the hotel and being on camera for longer and watching the pretty lady, that is.) Stupid MoJos. And even though they overtook Ray and Yolanda at the table o’ fruit for the manic monkeys thanks to the TBC returning from their Fast Forward attempt, the DWC made yet another mistake by not following the instruction given to them by the local who told them that the voodoo garden was ‘all the way down’ in that direction. Instead, they ran all around the place, allowing the TBC to overtake them again. While completing the pottery task, Monica was quick to moan about the difficulty of the task. Let’s have a show of hands; how many times has Monica said this before? “This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do!” After she had dropped enough of the pottery vases to smash their chances at finishing the task quickly, she started to cry, believing (correctly) that she’d lost their chances at remaining in the race. To his credit, Joseph was supportive and kind to her – which only made her cry even harder. I wonder if this is because she’s not used to him being supportive and kind, or if this is normal female behaviour in such circumstances? But my main cause for concern was: If you’ve dropped so many that you’ve only got two vases left, and you’re worried about the time you’re wasting, why not return to the start and collect five or so more, to make up the numbers? Why continue with a fairly-useless two vases when it’d save heaps of time for you to go back now and get the rest? Maybe she didn’t want to be alone (or they can’t split up when there’s only one camera with them – and personally, I think this is far more likely a reason), but it certainly meant they were well behind the other teams by this point. I was glad they were forced to eat humble pie and be eliminated before they reached the final three. Joseph (who I’ve started to call “Ol’ Codral Eyes”, due to the similarity between his eyes and those of the actor who sings the Italian opera-style Codral commercial currently airing on Australian TV), was somewhat gracious in defeat, but I was just glad to be seeing the back of them.




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Last week's tips:

First Team: BFG (Wrong – dammit! The very week I stopped tipping the FHG!)
Last Team: TBC (Wrong – although I’m glad about the result with this one, too)
Yield? No Correct!
Fast Forward? Yes Correct!
Elimination Week? Yes Correct!
Biggest Argument: DWC Correct!
Smartest Team: FHG Correct!
Two-Parter? Yes Correct!


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Next week's tips:

First Team: FHG (I’ve gotta go with the fellas now that we’re down to the wire – but I want it noted that I actually suspect the Frats will win, unfortunately.)
Last Team: TBC (I just don’t think they have enough ‘bite’.)
Yield? No (Obviously.)
Fast Forward? No (Obviously.)
Elimination Week? No (One team will win; the others will come second and third.)
Biggest Argument: TBC (Out of the teams remaining, they’re the most likely. However, it’s possible that no one will argue …)
Smartest Team: FHG (I certainly hope so, anyway!)
‘Family Edition’ The Following Week ? Yes (I reckon Channel Seven will want to capitalise on whatever success they’ve had with TAR 9 and continue their ‘Amazing Thursday’ promotion by heading straight into TAR 8. If this is the case, these weekly episode summaries will continue. If not, see ya next year!)


PS - I wish this game would hurry up and become available!! I want it!



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