Get OUT Of The House, The Lot Of You

Many have complained that the finale of Australian Big Brother 2006 was just plain wrong. That Jamie, the air-headed but basically nice personal trainer from Western Australia should not have beaten Camilla, the argumentative but excellent-thinker-on-her-feet and hard-done-by multi-nominated, turkey-slapped over-hyphenated student from Melbourne. And I'd probably agree, if I'd voted.

But as I was painting the house with my Dad and brother while these final shows were airing, I taped them and watched them a few days later. This meant that I couldn't vote because I didn't know who was still in the House. (Imagine if I'd been blindly voting for David to win, not knowing he was evicted the day before!)

So I can't complain about the outcome ... and I won't.




True, I had hoped and assumed that Camilla would win it, and perhaps too many others did as well, 'relaxing' them to the idea so they didn't feel the need or compulsion to vote. But the same thing happens every year, just not always at the finale.




Meanwhile, the teenage girls who were all in love with Jamie were voting up a frenzy because for the majority of the show's run, he wasn't considered the favourite to win at all.

But like a good friend of mine said, Jamie wasn't a bad bloke or anything, so it wasn't the greatest injustice in the world. I'm happy enough with the result. I'm not feeling as cheated as I was last year when the Bogan Logans took off with Tim's money.




Jamie was definitely "the dopey beefcake", as someone said in a comment here a while ago (I can't be stuffed going back and finding where and who it was, but you know who you are and I admire you beyond words ... which is why there aren't any). It's the perfect description, and certainly quantifies the type of person who invariably wins this show in Australia. Ben, Peter, Reggie, Trevor, the Logan twins and now Jamie. The only chick ever to have won it was the dumbest of the lot.

So what's the reason? Why do girls, even one as impressive and commendable as Camilla, never (rarely) win? Is it really because it's just teenage girls voting? Wouldn't they also have the drive to see a woman win and see their gender represented amongst the show's champions? They can vote for their favourite 'hunks' if they like to keep them there to the end so they can gaze longingly at their bicips and triceps and quads and whatever else they have, but surely a woman eventually winning it would appeal to them even more?

So if it's not teenage girls voting, is it sexist men keeping the women from winning? I'm not one of them, I hope it's clear. So who are these people, and what's their motivation? I find it all strange, that's all. Five out of six seasons have been won by men, and the one won by a woman (try saying that five times fast!) doesn't even really count. That was a pity win. For her stupidity and in response to her pleas that she didn't want to return to her sad life with her nasty, loveless husband (something I always thought was unfair on him, true or not, because he wasn't able to defend himself properly against whatever her pea-brain thought up to say - and what was inevitably exaggerated over time, the longer she was in the House).

Was Jamie really a better Housemate than Camilla? I don't know if he was, but obviously there are more than enough people out there to provide the alternate opinion. Please feel free to, if any Jamie-lovers are out there. Or maybe it was just that all the Camilla-haters voted for her to lose. Giving your opinion won't open you up to attack or ridicule, I promise (at least not by me).

But the result of the votes wasn't the only thing worth mentioning about the night. First, in a little-known incident (except here online, where everyone knows everything because we're all so brilliant), Friday Night Live co-host Bree Amer appeared on the show despite having tests earlier that day (or so I believe) on a suspicious lump a viewer had noticed on her neck the previous Friday.

This viewer, who happens to be a doctor specialising on suspicious lumps on the necks of game show hosts' necks, rang the network to advise Bree to have the lump checked out. Thankfully, the message was passed on and she was reported to have had tests done on the offending lump earlier this morning.



Doctors say Bree will recover.
More's the pity.

This whole thing may sound fabricated to you, and you may be right to doubt the story. Especially the bit about a doctor watching Friday Night Live (not to mention that he could notice a lump on her neck from watching her on TV).

But the actual finale was quite entertaining. The evicted Housemates had been choreographed into a major dance number (this is possibly the main reason I wouldn't want to appear on Big Brother myself -- unless I make it to the final two Housemates [or get removed from the House for indecent behaviour], I'd have to perform in a dance routine at the finale!).

Truth be told, I was actually quite impressed with all of the Housemates who appeared in this dance thing. Sure, it was purported to promote Danielle's new single "Underneath The Radar", but whatever. I couldn't care less about that. The dancing of the boys in particular was very well executed, and there wasn't anyone I felt I could fault (except perhaps David and Max, uncomfortably waving their arms around up the back -- but only because they'd had much less rehearsal than the rest of them). They seemed to be having fun, too. None of this "I'm too cool to dance, so I'm only going to do it with half the enthusiasm so I don't look stupid", which of course is exactly what makes you look stupid and uncomfortable and wrong. Well done to them all.



The evicted Housemates dance up a storm at the finale.
They have to pretend to get along with Michael, Anna and Darren,
but worst of all, they have to pretend to remember who Elise is.

As alluded to in passing above, the two Housemates who were removed from the House, Ashley and John, were not involved in the finale at all. There were reports leading up to the day concerning their views on this fact, and John is quoted as saying something along the lines of, "I don't care, I don't want anything to do with Big Brother after the way they treated me". Despite their actions and what you think of them, I think it's sad that he feels this 'burnt' by the show and the reaction they received to be this angry. That's all I'm going to say about that. But the speculation that had been building about whether or not the two boys would appear on the show at all resulted in a very obvious omission from the line-up of former Housemates. One newspaper in particular thought it was quite rude for John and Ashley not to be invited back (see the hilarious graphic below), but it really couldn't have been possible for Network Ten to have featured them on the show. Like I said yesterday, they'd have been opening themselves up to massive backlash if they had.



Hahaha, geddit?

As an interesting aside, I found this image of Gina, the twice-Housemate-to-be who never showed up and was later said to have suffered a meltdown when about to board the flight to the Gold Coast, on the official Big Brother website. I find her appearance quite remarkable, considering what ended up happening.



Doomed no-show Housemate Gina.
How did the producers not see she
had a mental breakdown coming??!

But the focus of the night was on Jamie (and, to a lesser extent, Camilla). For her part, Camilla was good-natured about her 'loss' to Jamie, praising him as a person and fellow Housemate. Jamie was also full of nice things to say about Camilla, even apologising (but was it only for the appearance of humility?) when he was announced as the winner.



Jamie catches his reflection in a mirror
for the first time since leaving the House.

Even Gretel seemed less offensive tonight. I was hoping to hear her finish by saying it was her last Big Brother appearance, but I guess you can't have everything.

The only thing that really bugged the pants off me was Katie. Katie coming in after everyone else in her section of Housemates, the kiss she gave Jamie while the camera rotated around them like they were at the end of a romantic comedy, the comments she made about models, footballers and everyone else throwing themselves at her, but most of all the way she jumped on him as he entered the stage after being declared the winner.

IT'S NOT YOUR MOMENT, KATIE. GET OFF HIM!

Talk about ruining the mood! Was it sincere happiness for him? Or was there a little reminder of possession being nine-tenths of the law in there as well? Was she letting people know that she was going to be a recipient of the prize money too? Or was she just honestly happy to be able to leech off his winnings for a while?

Whatever it was, it was more than I could take. I was glad she didn't try to stand up the front with Jamie and Gretel as well, or I would have thrown something at my television.

Let me repeat: I don't mind Jamie at all. I think he's a great guy and I wish him well. Part of wishing him well is hoping that he wakes up to himself about Katie and promptly dumps her as soon as he feels the Australian public will forgive him for it (or at least not notice or care).

By which I of course mean next week.




Bring on Big Brother 07!


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