Time Spent With My Neighbours
I worked out last night that Wifey and I have invested a lot of time in Neighbours this year.
The show is on hiatus for only four weeks of the year (which - when you think about it - is quite a schedule!), and that means they produce 48 weeks of 5 half-hour episodes. That's 240 episodes per year, totaling 120 solid hours of television (but of course that number includes all ad breaks, credit sequences, and "previously" recaps).
To the best of our memory, Wifey and I missed only two episodes in 2006. That's right; we saw every single episode of the show bar two of them. One was recapped for us by the e'er-delightful MelbourneGirl, and the other we just let slide. I'm not certain, but there may have been a third episode much earlier in the year that we also missed, so for argument's sake, let's just say we missed three episodes.
That means the pair of us actually sat down and watched 237 episodes of Australia's favourite soapie (everyone knows Home & Away is junk), totaling 118 and a half hours of television.
(For those of you playing at home, that means we didn't even miss an episode during the birth of Sweetums - we had people tape them for us and caught up later, taping each evening's show as the weeks progressed and watching them all back in the correct order later. True.)
Because the three of us are headed to Queensland next week for a brief holiday (we head off this Saturday), we're delighted that the show is ending for the year this Friday night. That means we won't be missing any episodes while we're away. You could be forgiven for assuming we purposely booked our holiday to coincide with the show's annual four-week break ... but I swear we didn't. It's a complete coincidence, but a happy one nonetheless.
So you think that's terribly sad? Sure. Sick and wrong? Absolutely. A kind of madness requiring medical attention? No argument here. You son of a motherless goat? Hey, watch it, fella.
My point is that it's been one solitary year since Paul Robinson was strangled nearly to death by Harold Bishop in the 2005 cliffhanger. Doesn't that seem a lot longer ago? In that time, we've seen lots of thing happen, such as Steph's cancer resurfacing and being beaten, Sky fell pregnant to any one of three different guys, Karl & Susan got back together, the Timmins family hit the jackpot, Janelle quit school and became an apprentice mechanic, Stingray became an alco (and kicked it again), Karl quit doctoring, there were a couple of marriages, a few heartbreaking relationship break-ups, various changes in vocation, changes in living arrangements, deaths, births, disappearances, secrets, lies and various other comings and goings.
Those who've joined the show since the start of the year include:
Charlie Hoyland
Cameron / Robert Robinson
Gail Robinson
JP the Crappy Art Teacher
Mishka the Russian Overactor
Loris Timmins
Summer Hoyland (again)
Carmella Cammeniti (again)
Rosita Cammeniti
Frazer Yeats (not his real name)
Pepper Steiger (not her real name)
Will Griggs
Guy Sykes
Glenn Close (Boyd's Tasmanian fling)
Blind Anne (the real Bree Timmins)
Kerry Mangel
Lesbian Mechanic Christine Steiger
Those who've left the show since the start of the year include:
Connor O'Neill
Stuart Parker
Max Hoyland
Izzy Hoyland
Summer Hoyland (again)
Kim Timmins
Loris Timmins
Blind Anne (the real Bree Timmins)
Cameron / Robert Robinson
Gail Robinson
JP the Crappy Art Teacher
Mishka the Russian Overactor
Celebrities who appeared on the show this year included:
Shane Warne
Rove McManus
Brodie Holland (Australian Rules Football player for the woefully-bad Collingwood Football Club - sorry Clokes!)
*Spoiler Alert!*
Those we can look forward to seeing join the show in the new year include:
Louise 'Lolly' Carpenter (again)
Frazer Yeats' brother 'Ringo' (Johnny Brown or another one?)
Max Hoyland (again)
Glenn Close (Boyd's Tasmanian fling - again - presumably)
Izzy Hoyland (again) with Karl's baby (my theory)
Summer Hoyland (again - probably)
Rowena Wallace (from Sons & Daughters)
Rachel Gordon (from Blue Heelers)
David Hoflin (from McLeod's Daughters)
Dee Bliss-Rebecchi (just my tip)
Connor O'Neill (again - just my fervent wish)
Those we can look forward to seeing leave the show in the new year include:
Lyn Scully-Robinson (actually, my prediction is she'll die in the Maldives)
Oscar Sully (as above)
Katya Kinski
Will Griggs
Dylan Timmins
Scott 'Stingray' Timmins
Max Hoyland (again)
Izzy Hoyland (again)
Summer Hoyland (again - presumably)
Celebrities we can look forward to seeing on the show in the new year include:
Andrew G
Emma Bunton (British Baby Spice)
Michael Parkinson (British TV interviewer)
Jo Whiley (British radio DJ)
Neil Morrissey (British man behaving badly)
Julian Clary (British homosexual)
The really clever amongst you may have detected a bit of a running theme towards the end, there. I wonder what that means for where parts of the show may be filmed in 2007 ... ?!
(End Spoiler Alert)
I'm already looking forward to the season finale this Friday. Who'll be taken hostage by bad guy Guy Sykes? (Answer: Steph, Charlie, Toadie, Zeke and Katya.) Who'll be shot? (Answer: Toadie.) Who'll survive? (Answer: All of them.) This stuff's not spoiler material 'cos it's all on the cover of TV Week.
And then it'll be four weeks of physical withdrawal symptoms while we await the 2007 season premiere. I love it.
UPDATE:
By the way, Ned Parker wins the Slut of the Year Award 2006. At various points throughout the year, he was involved with:
1) Elle Robinson
2) Izzy Hoyland
3) That weird blonde chick who lied about her niece and tried to 'Yoko Ono' Oodles and Noodles (you know the one; she eats her boyfriend's chunky soup on that ad and gets a hairy back - which serves her right)
4) Loris Timmins
5) An old woman he ticketed as a parking inspector before tearing up the ticket
6) Katya Kinski
7) Carmella Cammeniti
8) and various other faceless chicks he'd be chatting up in the Scarlet Bar on various occasions (at least three times throughout the year when he hadn't been seeing one of the above women for an episode and a half)
Way to go, Ned!
.
posted by BEVIS @ 9:48 PM
8 comments
8 Comments:
WHO fell pregnant to any one of three different guys?
Ha - thanks Enny. I'm always doing that. It was of course Sky. (She's played by actress Stephanie Macintosh, and ever since that awful The Steph Show aired, I've been constantly calling Sky 'Steph' by accident. It drives Wifey nuts.)
I'll go back and change it now. Cheers.
x
In thursdays episode, did you notice the name of the accounting firm Harold went to, the one supplied by Will?
Stadler & Waldorf!
ahem. i still like mishka. and i will MOURN the departure of dylan. he is looking so HOTT at the moment.
sad, yes, i know. allow me my foibles.
hope you are having a fab holiday.
and i can't wait to see the end of lyn and oscar. oscar, the most annoying child "actor" in the land.
Sorry for the delayed response, guys.
Clokeeeey, I certainly did notice that at the time (in fact, when the line was said, I repeated it really loudly at Wifey, amazed, while she tried to shut me up with an annoyed, "Yes, yes, I heard it too"). But forgive me for picking you up on this: It's spelt "Statler". Curiously, the actor who plays Will (Christian Clark) either doesn't know how to pronounce "Waldorf", or else the writers wanted to make the name slightly different ... because he said "Statler and Waldoff" (clearly making it sound like 'off' at the end). And he said the line twice in the episode, so I definitely heard him correctly (plus, we'd recorded it so I rewound the video to be sure). Also, it's always possible that a reader of I Blogged Myself (who 'unmasked' themselves to me in a private email as one of the show's editors almost exactly one year ago) inserted that reference as a direct nod to me! Unlikely in the extreme, but I choose to believe that it's true!
:)
Unfortunately I swore I wouldn't reveal this person's identity, but I can assure you they were legit. I've been busting to bring it up ever since, but out of respect for them, I haven't. This seemed like the right time to mention it ... and anyway, the person in question hasn't commented on my blogs in almost as long.
MelbourneGirl, it's alright - you can still like Mishka. I won't ostracise you for it. Hehe. Your reference to mourning Dylan's departure may be more accurate than you think. I don't know any plot developments for certain, but it's highly likely than one or more of the Timmins boys is going to meet a grisly end in a couple of months ... And as I've said a few times now, we've already seen the end of Lyn and Oscar Scully. They're out. Dead. Gone. Never to return. They bought the farm on their trip overseas (or they will very shortly - we'll probably hear about it care of the 'travel agent' Paul was speaking to on the phone in tonight's episode - the one he told to give Lyn and Oscar Scully/Robinson/? anything they wanted; by pretending they're the one-millionth customer or something if they had to). They won't return, so we can start celebrating any time now.
im really interested to see where the carmella & ringo thing is going. Do you know how old they both are, ie there age difference?
Ringo recently turned 17 and I think Carmella's somewhere around the 22-mark (although I'm not certain about that).
But be warned! I smell tragedy in their future!!
can someone please tell me what song was playing when crmella met ringo on the farm? need to know thanx
bsby666
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