Back In The Saddle

... Spoiler Alert! ... Spoiler Alert! ...


If you haven't yet seen (and you intend to see) episode 1 of The Amazing Race Series 11 – All Stars Edition (TARAS), do not read any further!


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The last season of TAR that was screened here in Australia was the eighth season of this exceptional show. However, season eight was anything but impressive for most viewers, because it stayed largely within the United States and featured four family members in each team – which basically meant for a lot more b!tching and a lot less adventure.

True to form, Channel Seven has again decided to air the seasons out of order. Season 10, which has already aired in the US, will be screened here later in the year, while season 11, which will finish screening in the US next month, started airing here last night.

Ordinarily, this wouldn’t matter too much, expect that THIS time, the Race is made up of teams who’ve been featured on the show in previous seasons … INCLUDING TWO TEAMS FROM SEASON 10! That makes it HIGHLY irritating to fans of the show. After watching last night’s episode, we now know two teams from the season which will air here later in the year who DO NOT WIN. We’re not MEANT to know that information before the series airs, you morons! Not only that, but the two teams in question clearly have some kind of heated past, which American viewers understand BUT WE DON’T. We have no context for their history of distrust and don’t understand what’s going on. Further to that, we actually know exactly how far these two teams made it through season 10, so there’ll be NO anxiety or excitement on our behalf when we watch the episodes that saw them eliminated. What a ridiculous frickin’ decision.

Channel Seven is stupid.

Anyway, for anyone reading this who hasn't read my previous TAR 9 synopses (and as a refresher course for those who have), here's how this works:

I'll be recapping/reviewing the TARAS episodes on Fridays (or possibly sometime over the weekend) following each Thursday night screening. Your feedback is welcome (of course), and friendly debate if you disagree with anything I've said (particularly if you can't stand my favourite team or vice versa) is also encouraged.

At the end of each episode, I'll make certain predictions on what will happen in the following episode, and at the end of the season I'll give the totals of accurate versus inaccurate predictions. This is just for fun; nothing rests on it at all (except perhaps for my reputation / your devotion to my words of wisdom / etc).

I'll list each team in the order they finished the leg (or the episode, if it's a "To Be Continued" two-parter), so be warned: Don't read my post about the show if you've taped the episode and are yet to watch it. (I know that's pretty obvious, but I want to be sure everyone understands that basic concept.)

Most importantly: If you're already ahead of the episode I'm reviewing where you live, please refrain from giving any spoilers to the rest of us in the comments. Thank you.

Also …

This season we’re trying something new and exciting. You get TWO reviews for the price of ONE! (The price, of course, being free.) My good friend Javatari asked me the other day if I’d mind him co-reviewing the TARAS episodes. Naturally I told him where he could stick his idea, and then he reminded me of those incriminating photos he has of me in my younger days. And so we reached an amicable agreement. We’re both going to be reviewing the TARAS episodes, and then linking to each other’s review. You’re all encouraged to read and comment on both reviews if you so desire, perhaps agreeing with one of us more than the other (we don’t yet know if we’ll be taking polar-opposite views on anything). This is a new experiment and we ask for your patience and understanding if there are any teething problems over the next few weeks. It should be fine, though.

Let's get to it, shall we?


"GO!"


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1. Rob & Amber


Well, they’re back – and they’re back with a vengeance! These guys are definitely the team to watch, and judging from the first episode (and the preview for the second), the other teams are very focused on them as well. Probably to their detriment, but what are ya gonna do? When these guys raced in season 7, I was pretty adamantly against them winning. Why? Because they’d already won Survivor (a couple of times over) and pretty much acted like jerks. This time, however, they’re in the same boat as everyone else. This time, EVERYONE is a former reality TV star, so I have no such prejudice against Rob & Amber specifically. Unless, of course, they pretty much act like jerks again. But we’ll have to wait and see. It was no surprise that Rob & Amber sped away in the lead so quickly, because they really are a force to be reckoned with. When Rob ‘let’ Oswald & Danny into their shuttle at the airport in Miami, he made the point that it was the first nice thing he’d done and he wanted it to be noted. After all, Rob & Amber had followed Oswald & Danny to the airport, so (in Rob’s mind, at least), him letting them on their shuttle made them even. Has Rob learnt a nasty lesson about Karma since he came second to Uchenna & Joyce in season 7, perhaps? The problem with being good (and everyone reinforcing that you’re good) is that eventually – if not immediately – you come to believe it yourself. And therefore Rob & Amber bring a massive ego with them. They may have to be careful – the mightier they are, after all, the harder they fall. Or perhaps Rob’s self-confidence will be well-founded this time. Will they win? I certainly look forward to finding out. If nothing else, Rob is great fun to watch … and Amber’s there, too. (What does she do, exactly?)




2. Oswald & Danny


These gay guys from season 2 (one of three seasons I haven’t seen) seem to be quite amusing as well. One of the first things they said to Rob (when he granted them access to his airport shuttle) was, “Don’t you guys have your own cable channel?”, a highly amusing reference to the amount of time Rob & Amber spend on reality TV shows (in fact, their ‘occupations’ on the TARAS website are listed as ‘Reality TV Stars’). Getting the better of the two flights in this leg certainly made the difference between those who reached the Pit Stop with plenty of time to spare, and those who struggled to avoid elimination. Oswald & Danny were amongst the leading teams for most of the way, seemingly having a great time and cheering themselves on. They seem like fun.




3. Teri & Ian


I’m pretty impressed with Teri & Ian. For ‘the old couple’, they do very well in the Race and I was even more surprised to find out that they came second place in season 3 (another of the seasons I haven’t seen). That’s pretty darn good, considering the older couples generally only get about halfway through the Race most of the time. These guys could be one to watch – just like Team Guido (Joe & Bill) said, “people underestimate them, because he’s crotchety and old-looking”. Well, that may be so, but I wouldn’t talk about wrinkled old faces, if I were you.




4. Eric & Danielle


Eric's another one (like Rob) who I have previously not liked but find myself looking at with fresh eyes this time. I always found Eric witty and amusing (often for all the wrong kinds of jokes and comments), so it’s no surprise to me that he still makes me chuckle. But it’s his strength and level of determination that I’d forgotten. He’s really quite formidable and is able of making up quite a bit of lost ground (as he did when they were in the car and overtook two teams from an earlier departure time). Much like Amber, I don’t have much of an opinion of Danielle. I think Eric would have been better suited to run the Race with his best mate Jeremy again (because they were pretty incredible as far as Racers go), whereas Danielle doesn’t seem to offer much except eye-candy. I’m happy to stand corrected on this if/when she does something remarkable on the Race, but at this point, the more vocal and controversial/amusing types like Eric and Rob leave the quieter, uninteresting types like Danielle and Amber to fade into the background. I’m also looking forward to seeing how far Eric & Danielle can go, and if they’ll get the better of Rob & Amber at any point. They seem pretty evenly matched – right down to the ego and wit.




5. Joe & Bill


‘Team Guido’, as they were called when they first raced, were the first ‘villains’ the show ever saw. As such, they developed themselves somewhat of a reputation for dishonesty and nastiness. Truth be told, however, they weren’t really all that spiteful at all. They were just the first Racers audiences saw who played the game a little dirty (because they raced in season 1). Although glad that they didn’t win in season 1, I quite enjoy watching them compete, so hopefully they’ll give the other teams a run for their money … despite being, as they themselves said, a pair of gay grandpas. (It’s the ‘grandpas’ bit I’m specifically referring to, here – not the ‘gay’ part.)




6. Dustin & Kandice


These ‘beauty pageant queens’ from season 10 are almost twins (sort of), and probably have a lot to prove that they aren’t just there for their looks. Coming in at halfway through the pack in this leg (and knowing they got to fourth place in season 10) shows that they can’t be ALL looks and no brains. Maybe we’ll get to see more of them as the Race progresses. (Eh? Eh? Know what I mean?, etc.)




7. Uchenna & Joyce


These archrivals of Rob & Amber (having won season 7 and being the only winners to appear in this Race) have apparently struggled to start a family – which is what they wanted to use their winnings on last time. If competing in reality TV shows is their only way of maintaining their IVF treatments, then maybe it’s not for them. But hey, whatever works. Maybe they’ll get lucky, so to speak, and win the Race twice. Wouldn’t that be a coup! But to be honest, they were pretty lucky winners in season 7, because they only got through to the Finish Line by the skin of their teeth, having come in last but been saved from elimination on at least one occasion. I quite like them (and I prefer Joyce’s hair this way than the dreadlocked do she had to shave off as part of a Roadblock challenge last time), so hopefully they’ll do better in future legs than they did in this largely problem-wrought attempt. If not for the four teams behind them who all went to the south entrance instead of the north entrance, they might well have been eliminated last night.




8. Charla & Mirna


I know it’s incredibly inappropriate, but whenever I see Charla (the ‘little person’) run, I can’t help but laugh. It’s wrong – I realise that – but it’s also hilarious to watch. The fact that she was able to beat Drew to the cars from the Starting Line was pretty amazing, and then when Mirna told her they may have to beat another team in a foot race, Charla’s “Yeah, right” spoke volumes. However, it should be noted that David & Mary finished the Roadblock challenge before the girls, yet were overtaken by Charla & Mirna as they were running up the hill to the Pit Stop. We weren’t shown how or why the girls got the jump on the Kentucky Hillbillies, but it’s definitely worth noting – perhaps Charla’s been practicing her running? Although amusing to watch, these girls can quickly grow tiresome, so if you haven’t seen them before, be warned that their feisty attitudes can easily translate on screen to annoying high-pitched arguing if they clash with other teams. That being said, when they raced in season 5 they were up against a group of argumentative tools, so perhaps they’ll come across better this time. Mirna likes to insist that she’s super intelligent (and it’s true that both girls know numerous languages), so we’ll see if they’re able to use their brains to their advantage this season. Driving to the south entrance to Hacienda Yanahurco wasn’t a good start to their journey.




9. David & Mary


This is the other team from season 10 that we don’t know. It’s apparent that they have some sort of animosity towards Dustin & Kandice, but we won’t know why until sometime around October. What we do know is that these guys are odd. Flippin’ odd. They booked the worst flight before asking about arrival times, they made it pretty obvious they were lying to Dustin & Kandice about it being a better flight (especially when they then sent Teri & Ian back to the other airline), they stupidly made enemies out of Kevin & Drew (quite unnecessarily) by stealing the key from Drew as he was getting into his car (I mean, why do that? What purpose did it serve? How frickin’ dumb was that!), and they entered via the south gate. They’re gonna have to lift their game if they want to go further in this Race.




10. Kevin & Drew


Sentimental favourites Kevin & Drew (the wisecracking Frat Brothers from the first season – who made a special guest appearance in the first episode of the Family Edition as hot dog sellers … and only one person, the youngest Paolo boy, recognised them) are generally full of funny jokes and lighthearted banter. But the years don’t appear to have been kind to them. Drew in particular looked quite unwell – and his fall didn’t help matters. (Wasn’t Kevin the epitome of kindness and care?! “Get up! Get up! Get up!”) I hope these guys do better than they did here (south entrance again), because they showed their carefree attitude in relation to continuing to drive on their flat tyre – completely destroying the wheel in the process. Hilarious! I wonder whether they’ll get to start the next leg with a replacement vehicle (or changed tyre, if the wheel still works after the beating it took), or if they’ll be in trouble there.




11. John Vito & Jill: ELIMINATED!


I don’t know who these people are, but they raced in season 3 and his name sounds pretty pretentious to me. “John Vito”?? Gimme a break. Anyway, they also entered Hacienda Yanahurco by the south entrance, and in this case it cost them their spot in the Race. I haven’t got much to say about them, but personally I’m glad it was this couple who got eliminated at the expense of those I know and love from other seasons.



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Next week's tips:

First Team: Rob & Amber.
Last Team: Kevin & Drew.
Yield? No.
Fast Forward? No.
Elimination Week? Yes.
Biggest Argument: Kevin & Drew.
Smartest Team: Oswald & Danny.



If you haven’t already done so, check out Javatari's review of this same episode on his blog.


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