Cruz Control

Well, Big Brother has started in Australia for another year. We’ve seen over a week of shows so far, and marvelled in BB’s gumption to cause friction by playing with a couple’s relationship the way he has with Andrew and Hayley. The addition of Hayley’s ex-boyfriend Billy into the House was inspired, genius and cruel – all at the same time.

It’s been a big year so far – no prize money (although not really, as we’ve seen tonight), a new Friday Night Live winner’s twist, ‘The White Room’, the secret couple, Mr X, and so on.

And here’s something for you to consider …


I know one of this year’s
Housemates in real life!

I won’t tell you who until they’re evicted (or win), but you’re free to guess. I’d be interested to know which of them you think I might know. (Bear in mind that I don’t know them very well – they used to work at my old workplace, but they weren’t one of the ‘problem people’.)

I’m happy to sign autographs, if you like. $5 a pop.

Anyway, last night’s episode saw our first sort of Housemate sort of evicted. Cruz elected to hit the red button and leave The White Room.

And fair enough.

Those people are going crazy in there, and it’s not too surprising, really. They have no stimulation (visual, audio, etc), and eat nothing but a suspicious white gruel made of oats and stuff.

When we first saw Cruz’s intro video, I felt sure I wasn’t going to like him. Claiming to be a male chauvinist and proud of it, it was difficult to see what could possibly endear him to the (largely female) voting public and entice them to vote him in.

Of course, he probably didn’t record that video thinking it’d be shown to the public who would then decide who to vote in, so in a way, I bet he was later thinking, “D’oh!”

But after seeing him interviewed a couple of times and watching him in The White Room for a week, there was nothing obvious about the boy to dislike. Maybe what he said was all for show? Perhaps he was just trying to stir up a bit of controversy so the show’s producers would put him in the House when those comments were filmed? Who knows and who cares.

The point is, I was ready to loathe him but found no follow-up reasons to do so.


I’m about to Cruz control
and I think I like it, yeah, yeah.

As for what happened in last night’s episode when Cruz hit the red button, I was VERY annoyed with BB and his CONTINUAL method of stuffing everything up.

When Cruz hit the button, we cut back to Gretel and she told us that Cruz shouldn’t play poker because BB was intending to go much higher than that.

Well, maybe if BB had FRAMED the offer properly, that would have been clear to the Wild Cards in The White Room and to the viewers watching at home. Because there was NOTHING in what BB said to signify that things were going to get interesting.

Instead of saying he was going to offer the Wild Cards money to leave The White Room and they had ten seconds to accept the offer because it was a ‘one-time’ deal, and then telling them it was $500, he should have told them he’d be increasing the money until one of them hit the button.

That would have added suspense and intrigue (not to mention pressure and greed) to the tension in The White Room (and for us watching at home).

Instead, BB didn’t even tell the Wild Cards when the ten seconds had started, so they were all surprised (as were Wifey and I) when BB announced that their time was up.

“What an anti-climax,” I said to Wifey, thinking that was the entire ‘carrot’ they were going to be offering.

When BB then upped the amount to $750, Cruz hit the red button because it was UNCLEAR that BB intended to keep offering more money. I’d say he was going to hit the button at $500, but was waiting for BB to give them some kind of indication that the clock had started ticking.

It was a complete foul-up of what could have been a much more exciting segment. Imagine the tension that the four Wild Cards might have gone through, if they wanted to leave the room, but wanted to let the money keep climbing, and yet didn’t want another of the four of them to ‘buzz in’ first!

THAT would have been worth watching.

But no, true to form, BB likes to completely misrepresent what he says to the Housemates and pauses in all the wrong and confusing places. The dude needs a new scriptwriter – and some elocution lessons!

Buddy, if you want the things you say to make sense and be worded in such a way that they’re not ambiguous and confusing, I’m happy for you to fly me to the Gold Coast so I can help you out. The way your dialogue is strung together at the moment is just embarrassing – not to mention friggin’ annoying!

And stop pausing in the wrong spots and rushing two sentences together where you’re meant to pause!

Here’s something BB said on Friday Night Live, complete with the pauses where he placed them. Hyphens indicate where he ran two words together in a mad hurry, almost making them sound like the one word. Each ellipsis (which is the fancy word for those three dots) indicates a lengthy pause:

“Housemates-start … when you hear … the buzzer-Do not … start … until Big Brother … instructs you-Ninja, … crack … the egg.”

What he SHOULD have said, complete with pauses and NO rushing of one word into another, is this:

“Housemates, do not begin until you hear the buzzer. Ninja, crack the egg.”

It drives me CRAZY (if you can’t tell) that no one’s had the guts to tell the show’s Executive Producer (BB himself) that he needs to tidy up the way he delivers his lines and have his script written in proper English. Or at least written in such a way as to get the best potential drama out of each moment.

It really sounds like he’s making it up as he goes along, and doesn’t realise what he’s going to say until he gets partway through each sentence. It’s a mess.

But let’s get back to Cruz and the other Wild Cards. Personally, I’m glad they’re getting worthwhile prizes, like a holiday to New Zealand. I reckon if they stayed in that room and got nothing more than a handshake and a cuddle when they came out, that’d be pretty rotten. I’m not fussed that they’ve done nothing on the show or even that they’re the four least-likeable options of the six “vote-‘em-in” Housemates who were on offer to the voting public last week – I think it’s the least the show’s producers could do for those poor kiddies who got their hopes up about going into the House and then weren’t even voted in.

Regardless of what you think of the four Wild Cards (Cruz = chauvinist; Kara = foul-mouthed nutbag; Harrison = headband-wearing blandy; Demet = Muslim who belly-dances and therefore shucks the Muslim religion so why even mention it? Are you just trying to look multicultural, BB? ‘Cos I find that more offensive), the poor dears deserve something worthwhile for their time and effort.

And so the three nominated Housemates this week are Kate, Bodie and Jamie. I think (and hope) Kate gets evicted, but you never can tell. I think Emma’s shown a really awful, b!tchy side to her this week, and Jamie’s a sweetie. Bodie’s hilarious, while Kate is probably the least likeable in the whole House.

Oh no … after TJ.

What a cruel, vindictive, thinks-she-knows-it-all b!tch TJ is! I can’t wait for her eviction. I don’t find her entertaining to watch at all – she’s a waste of everyone’s time.

Oh, and a memo to Zoran: DO SOMETHING.


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