Would You Like Polish Sauce With That?
If you haven't yet seen (and you intend to see) episode 8 of The Amazing Race Series 11 – All Stars Edition (TARAS), do not read any further!
The last TARAS episode we saw here in Australia ended with Joe & Bill being the last team to reach the Pit Stop but the second team to be safe from elimination on the All Stars edition of the show. The Pit Stop was located inside the grounds of Lazienki Palace in Lazienki Park, Warsaw, Poland.
At the Intersection (which was new to Australian viewers but not to the Racers – more on that later), teams had to form pairs (making four individual Racers) to complete tasks and make decisions together until further notice, which included completing the Fast Forward.
The Fast Forward was to have each team climb a set of stairs up two different towers (the tower of St. Mary's Basilica and the tower of Town Hall) and count how many stairs there were. They then had to add up the result and tell it to a guard, who would give them a clue directing them to the Pit Stop.
The Detour was ‘Eat It Up’ or ‘Roll It Out’. In ‘Eat It Up’, the intersected teams would make their way one and a half miles to an old market. Once there, each team member had to use traditional methods to make one three-inch length of Polish Kielbasa sausage. After finishing, the teams would be served eight feet of cooked Kielbasa. Once each person ate two feet of sausage, the teams would receive their next clue. In ‘Roll It Out’, the intersected teams would make their way one and a half miles to the J. Mazurek bakery and properly roll out twenty bagels. When finished, they would make their way on foot one quarter of a mile to a nearby restaurant with a delivery of fresh bagels for the headwaiter.
In the Roadblock, one team member had to don a full suit of authentic medieval armour and lead a horse half a mile through the forest to the castle gates. Once at the castle, they had to deliver the horse to the stable boy, enter the courtyard, and search for the Pit Stop.
For the record, this was the order in which the teams reached Phil on the mat last episode, and the order in which they started this leg of the Race:
1. Dustin & Kandice
2. Oswald & Danny
3. Uchenna & Joyce
4. Charla & Mirna
5. Eric & Danielle
6. Joe & Bill
Note: If you're already ahead of this point in the series, please refrain from giving any spoilers in your comments. Thank you.
As always, I’ll provide my thoughts on each team in this episode, listing them in the order in which they arrived at the Pit Stop (hence the 'Spoiler Alert!').
Equal 1st. Oswald & Danny
Last week: 2
This week: Up one place
All teams were visibly moved by visiting the Auschwitz concentration camp, but some seemed more genuinely affected than others. Those who came across as most sincere in their responses were Oswald & Danny, Uchenna & Joyce and Joe & Bill. I thought that the producers showed a surprising amount of tact in removing all fast-paced music and elements of ‘rushing’ from the Auschwitz segments of the show, and I thought the whole thing was handled well and respectfully. It wasn’t long before we were introduced to the idea of the Intersection. This is a new concept in the Race for Australian viewers, but it was clear from the fact that Phil didn’t introduce it as a ‘new’ thing (as he does when these things are introduced for the first time) – and from Dustin & Kandice’s comments later – that Intersections were first seen in Season Ten, which Channel Seven (in all its wisdom) HAS NOT YET SCREENED IN AUSTRALIA! Mark my words – when we eventually see Season Ten (rumoured to be later this year), Phil will introduce the Intersection as “a new thing on The Amazing Race”. But I digress. The point is, Oswald & Danny hooked up with Uchenna & Joyce because they were the first two teams to reach the Intersection marker, forcing Dustin & Kandice to wait for the other three teams who were in a bus four hours behind them. There was a Fast Forward in this episode (I tipped a Yield instead, which sucks), so because the two ‘intersected’ teams had a four-hour lead on all the others, it made obvious sense that the Fast Forward would be attempted by the leading foursome. In fact, this was a pretty stupid place to put a Fast Forward. The producers knew the teams would be separated in two groups of three on those buses, and they also knew the lead pair of teams would be four hours ahead of the others while team number three waited at the Intersection marker for the second bus to arrive. So what a pointless spot to put the Fast Forward! Part of the drama of a Fast Forward is the idea that another team may be racing for it just ahead of you, but considering there was no suspense on this facet, each team knew exactly what was going on. What a waste! I don’t think someone thought that through properly at all. After completing the Fast Forward, Oswald & Danny and Uchenna & Joyce arrived at the Pit Stop as a still-intersected team, and Oswald & Danny showed their true colours when they immediately gave Uchenna & Joyce the prize for first place (a lovely tropical holiday), the moment Phil told the four of them that he only had one prize to award. I wonder if – again – someone didn’t think this through very well and the Fast Forward was placed in the wrong leg, because these teams were never separated – although the others behind them eventually were – and this means that the next leg should technically begin with both of these lead teams starting at the same time. What’s the purpose of this? None that I can see; I’d say it was a bit of an oversight. But aren’t Oswald & Danny lovely?
Equal 1st. Uchenna & Joyce
Last week: 3
This week: Up two places
Following on from the above tirade, it’s worth noting that the Fast Forward these two teams undertook was flippin’ simple. Count the stairs of two towers and tell the guard the total number. Even if they’d stuffed it up the first time, they could simply try again. I mean, they HAD over four hours to get it right! I’d just have said a bunch of different numbers around the one I originally tried, if my first answer was incorrect. And I’d have continued guessing until I got it right (unless the rules stated that I had to do the whole challenge again before I could guess another total number). It was interesting to note that Uchenna & Joyce, although flattered and thankful to Oswald & Danny for their generosity, did not say anything like, “Oh, no – we couldn’t accept that! You have it!” Funny how they were happy to take the holiday without protest! (Actually, so would I.)
3. Dustin & Kandice
Last week: 1
This week: Down two places
These girls sure aren’t my favourite team, but you’ve gotta feel sorry for them starting out in the lead and then being stranded by that dam Intersection marker until the other teams showed up. And it was amusing how the other teams showed up in reverse order of their preferred Intersected partners! Charla & Mirna were their LEAST preferred partners, but they were there first, and after briefly considering hiding out and waiting to see who turned up next, they realised it might be another long wait, so they bit the bullet and joined up with Mirna and her pet dwarf. For some bizarre reason the four girls said grace before they began eating their two feet of sausages each. The beauty queens were laughing at the way Charla & Mirna ‘communicate’ with each other (which means their arguing), and after this task was completed, they were separated from their Intersected groups and took off in first place (of the remaining four teams, I mean). As much as it pains me to admit it, these girls are often speedy and effective, only making mistakes occasionally, which see them lose their place. Coming in third on this leg really showed how they kept the other three teams at bay, considering they had no hope in hell of catching up to the teams ahead of them.
4. Charla & Mirna
Last week: 4
This week: No change
There was much to laugh at with these girls in this episode. From the weird faces Charla made as she tried to eat more sausage that her stomach could handle, to the comical attempts to make her throw it back up again, to the arguments she had with Mirna at the table and in the car, to Mirna’s atrocious driving ability (“How do I take off the handbrake?!”), to – of course – the ABSOLUTELY HYSTERICAL shots of Charla dressed up as Gimli (even moreso than when I said it a few episodes ago) and falling flat on her face … twice! What brilliant footage that was! Wifey and I kept rewinding it and watching it over and over again. We were nearly crying with laughter. It was better than Funniest Home Videos (but then again, most things are). Anyway, I’m getting ahead of myself. It wasn’t until the four girls arrived at the sausage-making task (after specifically deciding not to go with the bagel-making task) that Charla thought to mention that she doesn’t even like sausages. What, you couldn’t think to mention that earlier??! Then, when the beauty queens asked Charla why she was eating so slow and she said “I don’t know, maybe there’s something wrong with me”, did anyone think that maybe it’s because she has the stomach of a dwarf??! Goodness me! The sounds of Charla trying to make herself sick were truly disgusting (as was the sight of just a little bit of vomit hanging from her lip), and when Mirna enlisted the help of two taxi drivers (yes, she actually said “both of them” and then asked why they were both driving her there), she invoked the wrath of Taxi (the Egyptian god of paid transportation), which in turn caused them headaches when she started yelling at the drivers to take her to her destination for less money than they were asking for. What followed was a shameful display of tears, emotional blackmail, tantrums and bullying. I loved it when the taxi driver said, “Goodbye” and shut the car door on her for not being willing to pay him $100. In the end, one of the drivers settled on $50 and off they went. Strange that she’d argue over $100 when she’s trying to win $1 million. Charla might have had more luck with leading the horse if she’d been, … for example, … Mirna. The horse needed someone to lead it, not be worried about being stepped on by it. The horse walked over to the roses for a snack and walked in circles because the person leading it couldn’t take big enough steps to steer it in the right direction with certainty! It was a silly decision to get Charla to complete that task.
5. Eric & Danielle
Last week: 5
This week: No change
This wasn’t the best episode for Eric & Danielle. They were bickering over a $2 cup of coffee (I could see the argument being made by both of them, so I’m glad I wasn’t there to have to take sides), and the responses from both of them deteriorated into childish “nerr-nerr” retorts, which was no doubt embarrassing for each of them. After being Intersected with the Gweirdos, it should have been clear that as long as they could stay level with the older guys, they’d be certain of staying in the Race, because Joe & Bill had a half-hour time penalty at the Pit Stop for not arriving in first place (another reason I wonder if the Intersection and/or Fast Forward were necessarily placed in the smartest spot of the Race by including them here when they did). When deciding to go for either the sausage-making or bagel-making tasks, Danielle surprised no one by asking, “24 inches is big, no?” (YOU’RE the American – inches is YOUR measurement!) I began to wonder, as Eric seemed to struggle with the sausage-eating task, if he wasn’t perhaps throwing the task intentionally, so that the Gweirdos were guaranteed to be the eliminated team. (Interesting thought, yes?) When Dustin finished her sausage but almost immediately threw up in the provided bucket, Eric called out, “Ladies and gentlemen, Miss California!” – which made everyone crack up. This is the perfect example of what I find so amusing about Eric: His wit and sarcasm (rare for an American, frankly). The noise of Charla making herself sick was gross for everyone to listen to, but particularly poor Danielle, who was struggling to block it out and not feel ill herself. After the task was completed, both Eric & Danielle and Joe & Bill returned to their taxis rather than look for their marked cars, which allowed Dustin & Kandice to overtake them. Although reaching the Pit Stop last, these guys were only a minute or two behind Joe & Bill, so the Gweirdos’ time penalty ended up costing them their position in the Race.
Last week: 6
This week: No change
No one thinks much of Joe & Bill, and this episode gave us another indication of why that is. Although Joe was amazing in finishing his sausage-eating task first (no jokes, please) – and that’s before any of the four girls, who had started much earlier – he undid any goodwill he’d earned with that little accomplishment by being snippy with Danielle when Charla dressed up in the knight outfit and saying (rather unnecessarily, I might add), “Charla looks like a dressed up rat”. After all, what does that even mean?!! They were a couple of old bitches and I for one am certainly not upset to see them go.
Last week's tips:
First Team: Oswald & Danny. Correct!
Last Team: Eric & Danielle. (Wrong)
Yield? Yes. (Wrong)
Fast Forward? No. (Wrong) – Dammit, I got these the wrong way around!
Elimination Week? Yes. Correct!
Biggest Argument: Eric & Danielle. Correct!
Smartest Team: Oswald & Danny. Correct!
Next week's tips:
First Team: Oswald & Danny.
Last Team: Eric & Danielle.
Yield? Yes.
Fast Forward? No.
Elimination Week? Yes.
Biggest Argument: Charla & Mirna.
Smartest Team: Oswald & Danny.
If you haven’t already done so, check out the review of this same episode that Javatari posted on his blog.
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posted by BEVIS @ 7:55 AM
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