Thursday, July 12, 2007

Thank The Lord For Season Three


It was with GREAT pleasure that Wifey and I settled down to watch the season premiere of Thank God You’re Here (TGYH) last night. As massive fans of the first two seasons (and you can read my reviews of each episode on this very blog, if you so desire), we were excited beyond belief and were living in a bubble of anticipation about the event.

Yes, we literally get THAT excited about our favourite TV shows.

I’m going to be recapping (I can hardly call it 'reviewing') each episode of TGYH, just as I have with the previous two seasons. As always, please feel free to leave comments either agreeing or disagreeing with my dissertations on each performer, and on the ‘best bits’ I bothered to mention.

The celebrities on the first episode were Peter Helliar, Stephen Curry, Cal Wilson and Josh Lawson. I thought it was a bit harsh to make the two newbies go on first, but sometimes a bit of a baptism-by-fire is the best way to get things over and done with.

Peter started things off by confessing to host Shane Bourne that he only has one character in him (Straughnie, the infamous AFL footballer), so it was unfortunate for him that he was instead cast as a 70s TV presenter for a show aimed at young teenagers, who had apparently bought his ‘threads’ at Threads ‘R’ Us (and had said to say ‘Hi’ to his co-presenter, as well). He had a new piercing, loved the new pop group ‘The Three Guys’, and loved the new Laxco-Smithy portable radio because of its knobs. As the astronaut in the group scene, he was wearing the full space suit and told Shane, “Just when you thought I couldn’t get any cuddlier …” It was then revealed that he was being kept in quarantine for farting on the return journey (and that it was “so bloody boring”), that the $22 million he paid as a rich man to go on the flight “didn’t even include petrol money”, and that he’d originally made his fortune by finding a wallet on the street. I loved that in the closing moments of the group scene, when the others were deteriorating into an all-out argument, he fell asleep in his quarantine chamber and was last shown leaning against the glass, snoring. As for the two pre-recorded bits, the first involved a Delfin-style TV commercial for a housing development, where Peter played the role of a gay man, and the second was an audition for some kind of Shakespearean role. Unfortunately I didn’t write anything down about Peter for either one, so he mustn’t have said or done anything remarkably funny in them (or maybe I just missed his good bits, I don’t know).

Stephen was up next, and he found himself being ushered around to the back of the set so he could enter the scene as if he was a guest on a daytime talk show (similar to Ellen). Finding out that he was apparently a well-known fashion designer, he used the clever and amusing stall technique of reaching for a prop and mucking around with it for a moment. He grabbed his mug, looked unimpressed that it was empty, and glared (and indicated to) an imaginary assistant off-screen to run and get him something to drink. He mentioned that his designs were going to be exclusively available at 7 Eleven stores, and when a picture of Elton John appeared on screen (in front of a polka dotted background) and he was asked what advice Elton had given him recently, Stephen replied, “Never stand in front of polka dots … because it makes you look so gay.” Donnatella Versace was the next celebrity to appear on the screen, to which Stephen told us, “Yep - that’s my Dad.” He then established that he was anti fake fur, that you wouldn’t wear his designs anywhere you wanted to be popular, that he recently went out with his own daughter, and that the only thing he can’t do is juggle. He also elected to sum up his designs in one word: “Antidisestablishmentarianism.” When the first model came out wearing one of his designs, he asked, “Who are you? You are igloo,” before noting that she was “freezing her feathers off.” He told us how the most satisfying thing he’s ever done in his life was when he recently visited an African village and gave them bikinis so they could concentrate on getting a good tan. After the scene he confessed that he’d had a great spew before he went on, then began miming Shane’s words from the autocue. When the four of them emerged for the group scene and he was the only one not dressed in the big white Astronaut gear (instead wearing the rather more sedate blue jumpsuit), he asked Shane, “Ever felt like you don’t fit in?” It was soon revealed that he had been left behind at the space station, and via video link-up he claimed that they were all playing hide and seek when the others decided to leave him behind. He was amusingly bouncing around slowly on his chair to create the effect of weightlessness. The cute nickname that the Cosmonauts had apparently given him when he arrived was ‘Twatface’, which they assured him was Russian for ‘champ’. I also didn’t take down any notes about his Shakespearean audition, but one line he gave in the housing development commercial (standing with a woman and two kids) was that the great thing about the area was that other people’s kids follow you around.

New Zealand-born Cal was the third celebrity to brave the elements last night, discovering she was a live-in nanny whose morals were a little questionable and whose work ethic left a lot to be desired. When being questioned by the parents who’d hired her, she admitted to giving her young charge some aspirin with vodka (“put her right to sleep”), taking the children to the beach “to count syringes”, and the pokies bar, where the kids learnt to “sit on the one machine until it pays out”. When threatened with being fired, she revealed to her employers that a hidden ‘nanny cam’ in the vase in their bedroom meant that she had some interesting home movies of them, and she told them she wanted to “stay on”. In the housing development commercial, she advised viewers not to buy right by the lake (“cos it’s a bit whiffy”), and when asked if she does any impressions during her Shakespearean audition, she said yes, and spoke of John Howard’s wavy eyebrows. In the group scene, Cal was one of the returned Astronauts who got engaged in space, and she announced that she wanted to return to the final frontier to get married. When Josh (her fiancé) stormed out of their press conference, she took it pretty badly, sculling down his glass of vodka and cracking on to ensemble actor Daniel Cordeaux, who tried valiantly to bring some sort of order to the chaotic press conference.

But the winner of the episode (and my clear choice as well, although I thought all four celebrity guests did a great job) was fan favourite Josh Lawson. Now that he’s landed a job on Channel Nine’s uber-expensive flop Sea Patrol, I feared he wouldn’t be back for the third season of TGYH. Happily, he was there last night to brighten our day and entertain the troops. To start his scene, he emerged from a spaceship as a green latex-wearing alien (named Barry, naturally), who was surrounded by bewildered onlookers. After explaining that he’d originally parked around the corner but received a ticket, he told the group that he’d been studying them for many years … then centred in on one woman in particular and specified that in actual fact they’d been studying her. He then asked the man next to her if he’d already “bagsed” her. He told them he loved “the dwarfy alien who runs your country … the one you call How-ward”. Apparently he’d landed his spacecraft in the Queensland hinterland because he wanted to visit Hollywood on the Gold Coast. It turned out that his entire ship is powered by a Nokia charger, but that it was really annoying when he made a long trip like this and forgot to bring it with him. Turning back to the woman he indicated earlier (played by Shaun Micallef alumni Roz Hammond), he said he was here to make friends, then grabbed hold of her breasts. When his mistress/commander appeared from inside the spacecraft, he explained guiltily that the women of his species “all look the same” to him. He pointed to ensemble cast member Ed Kavalee and said, “You. As the most attractive male of your species …” then pointed uncertainly at actor Ben Anderson and said, as if reconsidering his decision, “… although …” before turning back to Ed and saying with certainty, “no, you”. Ed then touched his hand and Josh reacted strongly - he’d just gotten pregnant. When Daniel also touched his hand a little later, Josh reacted strongly again, groaning, “Oooh, twins”. His final message started out peacefully and wonderfully, but then degenerated into groping Roz’s chestal region once again. Hey, why the heck not. His involvement in the group scene was as the returning Astronaut who’d proposed to Cal in space, had a massive drinking problem and was drinking a large glass of vodka instead of water at the press conference, snapped at Cal for suggesting they get married in space, and stormed out, sparking the turmoil that brought the scene to such a brilliant-but-frenzied conclusion. In the housing development commercial, Josh said the best part about living there was the wife-swapping nights, and then snapped at the camera, yelling, “We don’t like outsiders!” The most amusing thing about his Shakespearean audition was his “tap dancing routine” which consisted of excitedly tapping one foot on the spot to the music (and looking like he was very impressed with himself). When the audition was cut short, he even had the gall to ask the director for $5 for his bus ride home! Josh is always highly entertaining, and great fun to watch. He has a razor-sharp wit and never disappoints. I love him and want to have his babies (simply by touching his hand, which should be easy enough).

I was interested to note that one of the main ensemble cast members from seasons one and two was missing from the line-up last night. In addition to those already named in this recap, Nicola Parry, Rebekah Foord and Russell Fletcher were featured, but there was no sign of Heidi Arena (formerly of Last Man Standing fame).

Judge Tom Gleisner is still there making his inane observations this season, but at least they’d given him some worthwhile snippets of “real-life TGYH situations” for him to screen so we can have a smile and not have to listen to so much of Tom filling the gaps between the scenes with his awful Dad jokes.

Wifey and I are sooooooo glad TGYH is back on our screens; I’m sure the season will pass all-too-quickly for our liking, but at least we’ll have had heaps of fun watching the hilarity and unscripted chaos run its course.

The show’s official website has been significantly updated and improved, so now you can look at Stephen Curry’s talk show scene for yourself by visiting the website.


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