Walking Away Empty-Handed

2007 is definitely going to go down as The Year Of The Game Show. I'm not sure what started it off, but the fact that all three commercial networks in Australia decided to launch a primetime game show (all promising to out-do each other) at the beginning of the year certainly had me intrigued. And I've seen enough of each one now to pass judgement on the shows.

First, although the last of the three to premiere, we have the one I got sick of watching the soonest. It's Network Ten's The ConTest. I quite like Andrew G (well, I don't hate him, anyway - and he's a natural TV host), and Brigitte Duclos is a member of The Cage (to which I listen on the radio every morning), but the fact that this show is so 'samey' from week to week (not to mention that basically half of the hour-long broadcast is spent by Andrew, Brigit and the voiceover guy all telling and re-telling us that the contestants can't see each other's scores) makes for an extremely boring show. The contestants are all clearly nervous and react accordingly, and it's just cringe-worthy to watch.


The REAL ‘ConTest’ was Ten waiting to see if we’d
watch the show for more than a couple of episodes

If I was on the show (being a smart guy as I am), I'd no doubt do very well on the scoring. But my "gameplan" would NOT be to try to bluff the other players into thinking I'd done well - rather, I'd act all nervous and twitchy and shut my eyes in disappointment when Andrew told us the answers (WHEN I'D GOTTEN THEM RIGHT), to lull them into a false sense of security. That way, they'd all bomb out thinking I wasn't worth worrying about, and they'd all learn the hard way (when they got eliminated with no money) that I'd been playing them. By the time I was in the final round, I'd drop the act, and my opponent would realise they were up against a very smart cookie, resulting in them doubting themselves and folding - giving me the $50,000.

But I won't be going on the show, because I reckon it's got another month in it before it gets axed.

It also doesn't help that Brigitte can't speak English: "Should of you done it?"


Brigitte Duclos and Andrew G -
far too many teeth for two people

The next show I'll look at is another one that's worn a bit thin already; Channel Nine's 1 vs 100. When Eddie finished hosting Who Wants To Be A Millionaire last year to concentrate on running the whole network (of which he'd just become CEO), no promises were made in regards to whether or not Millionaire would be returning. Since then, the whole idea of the show has been re-envisaged overseas anyway, and 1 vs 100 is the result.


The odds are firmly stacked against you

Happily for Eddie (who's been doing a terrible job as CEO, by all accounts - certainly if the network's slipping ratings for the first time in 15 years is any indication), everyone at Nine was keen for him to step back into his hosting gig with their major game show. He's another one I don't hate (despite many doing so), and who is also frankly a very gifted TV host.

1 vs 100 is Millionaire on steroids, but unfortunately it doesn't hold my interest enough for me to make time on my Monday evenings to watch it. If it's on and I'm not doing anything else, sure - I'll watch it. But otherwise I don't care if I miss it entirely. That's not a good sign for a fledgling show into which the network has invested so much faith (and to which the CEO has attached his smiling face).


Eddie discovered a novel way of presenting to the world
the latest Channel Nine employees to get the sack

Finally we reach Channel Seven's The Rich List. I've read reviews that claim this one is the worst of the lot (citing the act of writing lists for things like shopping and other chores as being the most mind-numbingly dull thing one could ever hope to do), but I actually enjoy this show the most of the three. Especially when it's not sport or geography and I'm easily able to out-list all the silly contestants.


(I checked, and I'm not on it.)

I wonder why no one has never gone on the show and lied about their strong suits. I suspect the producers put people together into their teams and leave a gap in their understanding so they can be beaten on a topic or two. Instead of saying I'm good at popular culture and bad at sport (which is the truth), I'd tell them I was the opposite. Then they'd (hopefully) partner me up with "another" sports person, only to find that my partner would get all the sports questions right while I surprised everyone by blitzing the field in almost every other area! We'd be unstoppable!

Anyway, this is the one show of the three new game shows that I'm still happy to watch. And that's despite this incident.


Contestants build a list to win money – it’s
enough to get you excited about the shopping:
“Milk, bread, sugar, you’ve won $10,000!!”

All-in-all, I can't help but feel that the recent resurgence of game shows in this country has burnt us out and meant that they've all out-stayed their welcome inside a month ... and the real losers in the whole thing are us, the viewers.

(And possibly the networks, who have to watch all the money they've injected into the shows go down the gurlger when we all stop watching.)

But those three are not the only game shows we're able to watch in this country. Channel Nine still has its old stalwart Temptation at 7pm, hosted by Ed Phillips and Livinia Nixon. And even earlier than that, Nine pits Bert Newton up against Seven's host of The Rich List, Andrew O'Keefe, when Bert's Family Feud goes head-to-head with Deal Or No Deal. (Other recent game show flops have included Channel Seven's You May Be Right and The Master.)


Ed ‘The Man’ Phillips asks the questions while
Livinia ‘The Ninny’ Nixon makes inappropriate comments

Bert Newton and his funky new hairpiece have
joined forces to present Bert’s Family Feud

”… that is the question”

Before I finish, I can't avoid referring to the recent 'Midas touch' curse that has befallen the once-great Larry Emdur. During the 90s he was the Game Show King, hosting The Price Is Right and then Wheel Of Fortune. But his luck started to change when both shows were axed (not long after the short-lived Ca$h Bonanza thing that was filmed on the Gold Coast - and don't forget that his first game show, Family Double Dare, only last a few episodes). He was moved to Weekend Sunrise (but has since been replaced by Seven's "Everywhere Man", Andrew O'Keefe), and has now been employed by Network Ten (completing his circuit of the major networks) hosting Celebrity Dog School (which was recently shafted from its great timeslot on Sunday nights to its dead-end timeslot on Saturday nights).


Larry's asking price was wrong,
so the show was axed ...

… and then he ended Wheel’s run, took
Laura down with him, and single-handedly
ended John Deeks’ voiceover career into the
bargain (apart from those JB Hi-Fi ads)


The future certainly looks grim for Larry (who is another fine TV host), and I guess all that remains for him now is to send his CV to the ABC, SBS and Channel 31.


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(Oh, and while 'researching' for photos for this post, I came across the following image from The Price Is Right ... it made me giggle. Can you tell why?)


How much, ladies?


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