When The Goin' Gets Tough, The Weavers Get Weaslin'

... Spoiler Alert! ... Spoiler Alert! ...


If you haven't yet seen (and you intend to see) episode 9 of The Amazing Race Series 8 - Family Edition (TAR 8), do not read any further!


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The last TAR 8 episode we saw here in Australia ended with the Paolo family being the last team to reach the pit stop and the sixth team to be eliminated from the Family Edition of the show. The pit stop was located on a houseboat on Lake Powell near Antelope Point in Arizona, USA.

For the record, this was the order in which the teams reached Phil on the mat last episode, and the order in which they started this leg of the race:


1. The Godlewski Family
2. The Linz Family
3. The Weaver Family
4. The Bransen Family


Note: If you're already ahead of this point in the series, please refrain from giving any spoilers in your comments. Thank you.

As always, I'll provide my thoughts on each team in this episode, listing them in the order in which they arrived at the pit stop at the end of the episode (hence the 'Spoiler Alert!').



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1. The Linz Family


It was clear from the way Phil's voiceover right at the start asked the question about whether the Linz family could finally win a leg (coupled with the comment in the 'previously' bit that they were again beaten to the post last time) that these guys were going to come in first this week. And that made me glad that I'd tipped them! I knew that reversing their car and caravan (trailer) at the helicopter challenge was a mistake - they should have at least had one of them jump out and grab the clue! As it was, they missed out on grabbing the numbered token and had to watch as the Weavers and Godlewskis took the first ride on the chopper. Ha. It's constantly amazing to me just how nasty and mean everyone is to the Weavers. And by 'everyone', the Bransens haven't really been part of it (not since the very early days, anyway - and even then, only in a minor fashion), so I really mean the Linzes and the Godlewskis. It's getting very old and only makes me despise these two families all the more. What a disgusting way to behave! And it was simply too much when one of the Linz boys called Linda Weaver "the wicked witch". The solitary amusing comment with the Linz boys this week was when one of the three (who are impossible to tell apart) told another one of them that they'd get him a helmet, due to his excited chuckling and carrying-on. Not long afterwards he was wearing a helmet for therappell challenge! Phil stole the show again this week by joking with the Linz family when they reached the pitstop by saying that they'd won no prizes. I'm not sure what it is about this Family Edition (more time to fill, perhaps?), but seeing 'The Philiminator' relaxing a bit more and cracking jokes is the best.



2. The Godlewski Family


Well, just like last week, the Godlewski girls wasted no time getting stuck into one another. I guess it'd be wrong of me to say they 'started arguing' right off the bat - it's clear that they never actually stop arguing. The way they all turned on Christine for talking was pretty cruel (humiliating and embarrassing her on international TV just so they can make themselves feel better - because they sure aren't making themselves look any better!), and again it was the elder two sisters, Michelle and Sharon, who were particularly cutting and harsh. I was intrigued by the girls' complete absence at the "climb it or ride it" detour without any explanation - they were chugging along in second place and then suddenly both the Weavers and the Bransens arrived before them. It wasn't until the Godlewskis finally turned up that we were treated to Phil's very hasty voiceover: "Due to a production error involving the camera equipment, the Godlewskis' car battery was drained. A replacement vehicle was provided, but they have fallen into last place." Hehe - I bet they weren't happy about that!! (However, it's a condition of the Race that all teams accept the notion that dodgy or broken equipment / transportation will be replaced if the error is not the team's fault, but that no time credits will be awarded - so in other words, the producers will do whatever they can to get a stranded team whatever they need, but it's "luck of the draw" and they just have to lump it.) Frankly, everyone's behaviour and nastiness at the absent Weaver family being Yielded is just disgusting and really highlights their individual pettiness ... not to mention how ugly their true personalities are.



3. The Bransen Family


Whatever.




4. The Weaver Family: SAFE!


Considering everything I've said above in the Weaver family's defense, they really don't make it easy for us to like them, do they! I realise that three of their number are still quite young (the eldest daughter, Rebecca, is 19, equal in age to the youngest - and most immature - of the Linz boys, Tommy, and younger than anyone else still in the race), so you've got to keep that in mind, but really ... some of the things they say and do are quite alienating in themselves! In a sense, they only have themselves to blame. But in another, more accurate sense, they are doomed to be loathed at this point no matter what they do. They will never redeem themselves in the eyes of the Linzes or the Godlewskis - those two teams have reinforced their misrepresentations of the Weavers in their own minds so much that I bet they even saw and heard what they wanted to see and hear when they eventually watched the episodes of the show as they went to air in the US. They will never be able to go back to step one and clarify the misconceptions that have skewed things so far from reality now between the three teams. And that's why I can partly understand why the Weavers' desperate (and, in their minds, 'only') course of action is to lash out and bad-mouth the other teams while trying to build themselves up, and later spout on about how clean-cut and blameless they are. The problem is, the one cancels out the other (at least in the audience's "all-knowing, all-seeing" point of view). They certainly should never have gone the 'picturesque' route to the pitstop, but it's easy to say that from the comfort of my loungeroom. Who the Linz family decided to Yield (which I didn't think would appear for another week, dammit!) was certainly no surprise to anyone, and if the Weavers had gone with therappell detour like everyone else (instead of riding mountain bikes when Rebecca in particular didn't know how to change gears on them), they wouldn't have fallen behind so much during this leg. But they're not out yet. And yes, Phil was right - that was the most amusingly unenthusiastic reaction to a non-elimination announcement we've ever seen! Hilarious! It's a bit sad that it fell to Phil to give them a pep-talk before they felt charged up and ready to fight another day, but seriously - if you were being ostracised as much as they have (think of how they stayed in their caravan alone on the overnight bit because no one else wanted to talk to them), you'd be feeling pretty lousy as well. I know I'd certainly be 'jack' of it and want to go home to (other) family and friends! It must be really hard and lonely for them, and I completely understand why they're hating it. The experience shouldn't be so lacking in fun (the Paolos made their own bed with their arguing, but when the Weavers have barely done anything wrong - except respond poorly on occasion to their treatment by the other teams - then it becomes a different matter entirely). On a lighter note, Rolly's Dukes of Hazzard-style jump into the car through the open window was genius. Or as Wifey said, "Boys are fun."


Oh, and I also loved the skiier's pick-up line for the Bransen girl (who is also indistinguishable from her sisters): "If you live, let's go out!"



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Last week's tips:

First Team: The Linz family. Correct!
Last Team: The Weaver family. Correct!
Yield? No. (Wrong)
Fast Forward? No. Correct!
Elimination Week? No. Correct!
Biggest Argument: The Godlewski family. Correct!
Smartest Team: The Linz family. Correct!


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Next week's tips:


It's a double episode next week (but not yet the finale), so my tips for both respective episodes are as follows ...


First Team: The Linz family.
Last Team: The Weaver family.
Yield? No.
Fast Forward? No.
Elimination Week? Yes.
Biggest Argument: The Godlewski family.
Smartest Team: The Linz family.


First Team: The Godlewski family.
Last Team: The Linz family.
Yield? No.
Fast Forward? No.
Elimination Week? No.
Biggest Argument: The Linz family.
Smartest Team: The Bransen family.


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And The Hunt Is On!

As discussed a few weeks ago, there's an exciting new reality TV show starting up on Australian screens called




and it premieres THIS SATURDAY EVENING! -- That's Saturday, 30th December at 6:30pm on Channel Seven.

Various articles I've read about the show refer to it as a cross between The Amazing Race, The Mole and The Ca Vinci Code, and although some nay-sayers have dismissed it as simply an Amazing Race rip-off (which is true in many respects), there's clearly much more to it than just that ... and I for one am excited by the prospect. Bring it on, I say. Let's judge for ourselves whether or not it's worth our time and energy. The potential this new show hold is immense, so I'm looking forward to determining for myself if it lives up to expectations.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know, in case you were interested in checking it out. Sounds like quite a few more mind games are played with the competing teams' heads than there are in The Amazing Race.


The ten teams of three who'll soon become
Treasure Hunters (click to enlarge)

This has been a friendly TV Is My Life scheduling reminder. I consider it a community service. And in case you need further prompting:




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Up, Up & A (Wrong) -way!

... Spoiler Alert! ... Spoiler Alert! ...


If you haven't yet seen (and you intend to see) episode 8 of The Amazing Race Series 8 - Family Edition (TAR 8), do not read any further!


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The last TAR 8 episode we saw here in Australia ended with the Bransen family being the last team to reach the pit stop but the second team to be saved from elimination on the Family Edition of the show. The pit stop was located at Fort McDowell, on the Yavapai Reservation in Arizona, USA.

For the record, this was the order in which the teams reached Phil on the mat last episode, and the order in which they started this leg of the race:


1. The Godlewski Family
2. The Weaver Family
3. The Linz Family
4. The Paolo Family
5. The Bransen Family


Note: If you're already ahead of this point in the series, please refrain from giving any spoilers in your comments. Thank you.

As always, I’ll provide my thoughts on each team in this episode, listing them in the order in which they arrived at the pit stop at the end of the episode (hence the 'Spoiler Alert!').



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1. The Godlewski Family


I really didn’t think these girls deserved to come in first place for this leg (but then, which team really deserved it? There are hardly any ‘deserving’ or likeable teams left in the race anymore). It was amusing to note that elder sisters Michelle and Sharon were arguing within seconds of starting out, and their delayed arrival at the Fighter Combat International at Arizona’s Gateway Airport almost cost them any chance of reaching the pit stop in first place (because once the first three teams were separated in the first round of fighter pilot challenges, the last two never had a chance to catch up – and the Godlewski girls arrived at the airport just in time to secure the third of the five available fighter jets the following morning). It was interesting to how these girls (as well s the Linz family) have completely shunned the Weaver family, but despite how much the Weavers may ‘deserve’ it, that kind of rudeness is never called for – and it never makes those dishing it out to look very charitable or friendly.



2. The Linz Family


Probably the stupidest thing the Linz family has gone so far was telling the cop who’d stopped them that they were racing other cars to get to their destination. Man, I wish they’d been ticketed! When the Godlewski girls asked the Weavers how they’d managed to find the airport before them, they answered, “We’re smart”, to which one of the Linz boys muttered under his breath, “No”. It was a bit cruel (but I’d probably do it myself as well, in the same position) for the Linz boys to try to ‘psych out’ Brian Paolo before he completed the plane road block (and by the way, I think that plane challenge – where the family member in question had to take control of the plane themselves to complete the loop – is possibly the single best challenge that’s ever been set for anyone on TAR ever! It’s right up there, anyway. It rocked!). In a way, I’m glad that the Godlewski girls found a faster speedboat (or had less weight in their boat so they could overtake the Linz family on the final stretch to Phil on the mat), because I think I’d prefer the lesser of the two evils (the Godlewskis) to be the ones who are rewarded for their efforts.



3. The Weaver Family


Again, the Weavers managed to prove my point about remaining in the front half of the pack (despite various extra psychological barriers, such as the very evident loathing being leveled at them from most of the other teams). My hat’s off to them for that. And they did the navigating task well. But there was a lot in this episode that angered me about the Weavers. First, they continued to bitch and complain about the other teams (although not without due cause). Second, they made matters worse by refusing to tell the Linz family where the numbered tokens were at the Fighter Combat International at Arizona’s Gateway Airport despite the fact that they could have helped their cause a little and come across as friendly for once. Third, the girls throwing rubbish out their car window at the Godlewski family’s car (although not intended to be mean, but rather playful) was seen as childish littering and inappropriate behaviour. Fourth, their prank at the Grand Canyon asking the ticket booth attendant to stall the Linz family behind them (harmless fun, really) went down very badly when the attendant told the Linzes that the car in front was “talking a lot of smack” about them – and the Linz family had a further reason to hate the Weavers (again, not a worthy reason in reality, but appearing so from their limited viewpoint). Fifth, when the teams were all flooding into the glass doors of the dam foyer and selecting a guide, the Weavers instead asked for the restrooms (not really their fault if they had to go, but the disbelieving “Are you serious?” from the guide was a classic). And finally (this is the bit that actually made all the above seem too much), the teary whinge to Phil at the mat about the other teams being mean was fair enough, but the line, “We’re the only team trying to live a Christian life” was shown for the hypocritical piousness that it was, in relation to them throwing rubbish at other teams, not telling them where the numbered tokens are, and generally gossiping and backstabbing them as much as the other teams are doing to them. Still, that being said, they’ve never actually tried to ’bully’ another team (despite the rest of them bullying the Weavers at one point or another – some repeatedly), and when you’re constantly reminded that everyone else hates you and you’re completely on your own, such feelings of being unfairly cast as the underdog can often justify such despair. I speak from experience.



4. The Bransen Family


I think I may have slept through every section of footage that featured the Bransen family. They are just toooooo boring!! Although I did note that the starting time the Bransens had (12:14am) was considerably later than the starting time the Paolo family had (12:06am), indicating that when the Paolos told the Bransens to put all their clothes on before stepping on the mat last week, there may actually have been something in it as far as delaying the Bransens was concerned. But in the end, it wasn’t enough to save the Paolos. (Oh, and the image of Wally Bransen lurking in the dark of the casino carpark while his three daughters use their ‘feminine charms’ – a phrase that always unsettles me by its implications – beg for money at the start of the leg was a bit disconcerting. It made me feel as though he was somehow ‘pimping’ them off for cash, or something. It was a little creepy – but necessary, yes.)



5. The Paolo Family: ELIMINATED!


It’s disappointing to see this hilarious family leave the series. They really were the life of the party, as evidenced by the ad for next week’s episode (the footage they showed of one of the Godlewski girls stumbling on the rock edge and the Linz boy skiing into the water was probably an indication that all the ‘pizzazz’ has gone out of the game, now that they’ve left. I must say it was good to finally hear Tony Paolo raise his voice at someone in his family, but I didn’t think it’d be Marion on the receiving end when he finally yelled at someone. He turned on her in a surprisingly snappy response to her harmless musing that they might be heading to the airport to go on a helicopter ride (“Yeah, ‘helicopter ride’ – they’d make it fun for you. What are you, nuts?”). Whoa, nelly. Such derision leveled at your wife while all the rude behaviour of your sons goes unchecked? No wonder they’re turning into disrespecting little pigs. The brotherly support DJ showed to Brian when the latter was in the plane was very touching (“He better not screw up; I want the clue!” … and then … “He stuffed it up! He did it too fast, like a clown.”), and his temper later (once they realised they were dead last) brought a new level of resentment towards one another to the surface, as evidenced in the following tableaux:

Marion: Don’t yell at me; I’ll take your frickin’ head off.

DJ: Ma, this is a big river. I could drown you here and one one’d ever find your body.

Marion: Just you try it.

(I should point out, though, that this exchange was followed by Marion laughing, which indicates that they were indeed just playing around. But they’re dangerous words to use and I sometimes wonder if they forgot that the cameras were constantly rolling, capturing everything they did and said.) Anyway, the biggest mistake the Paolos made was allowing the panic of the situation to overcome them. While they were still equal-last with the Bransens, they chose not to stop and ask for directions, and instead went off Tony’s poorly assessed navigating to find their way to the Grand Canyon, taking a highway that took them well out of their way and cemented their position at the back of the pack. They should have stopped to ask. This was also compounded by the bickering and yelling and outright anger demonstrated by the family (primarily DJ yelling at his mother) as their speedboat approached the houseboat that contained the pit stop. It was quite startling to witness and more than a little ridiculous at that point to be so angry with each other (although, perhaps their embarrassment was just making it worse for everyone).


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I have to point out that the way the last few legs of this race have been put together has left a lot to be desired. I’ve noticed on at least three occasions that certain tasks or methods of breaking up the pack (be it through bus rides, fighter pilots exercises, etc) actually make it nigh-on impossible for the teams at the back to have any hope whatsoever of catching up and avoiding elimination. Many of the legs have favoured those already I the lead. Now, I’m happy for this to be the case if the teams at the front are staying at the front due to their own skill and even good fortune, but if they’re constantly in first, second and third position (out of five or more places) due solely to the other teams being unable to make up the time difference thanks to the way the producers have arranged that leg of the race, then that’s just not cricket. I think I can see why so many Americans (and viewers from other countries who’ve already seen this season) had a bad taste in their mouths about it. Between the ‘family’ idea seeming less exciting, and the ‘they barely leave the US’ thing, you’ve also got a rarely-changing leadership in the race, as well as a group of families that were largely the least likeable (if that makes sense). I’d love for the Linz family to be eliminated next (simply because they’re bullies, as I’ve said plenty of times before), although they’re actually my tip for the family who’ll take out the million dollars. I can live with that; apart from their bullying, they’re a great team and I can tell they’d be fun people in real life.



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Last week's tips:

First Team: The Linz family (Wrong)
Last Team: The Paolo family Correct!
Yield? No Correct!
Fast Forward? No Correct!
Elimination Week? Yes Correct!
Biggest Argument: The Paolo family Correct!
Smartest Team: The Linz family Correct! (Only their slower speedboat at the very end cost them first place)


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Next week's tips:

First Team: The Linz family.
Last Team: The Weaver family.
Yield? No.
Fast Forward? No.
Elimination Week? No.
Biggest Argument: The Godlewski family.
Smartest Team: The Linz family.


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They're Playing Dirty, Now

... Spoiler Alert! ... Spoiler Alert! ...


If you haven't yet seen (and you intend to see) episode 7 of The Amazing Race Series 8 - Family Edition (TAR 8), do not read any further!


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The last TAR 8 episode we saw here in Australia ended with the Gaghan family being the last team to reach the pit stop and the fifth team to be eliminated from the Family Edition of the show. The pit stop was located at a beach in Quepos, Costa Rica.

For the record, this was the order in which the teams reached Phil on the mat last episode, and the order in which they started this leg of the race:

1. The Paolo Family
2. The Linz Family
3. The Bransen Family
4. The Godlewski Family
5. The Weaver Family


Note: If you're already ahead of this point in the series, please refrain from giving any spoilers in your comments. Thank you.

As always, I’ll provide my thoughts on each team in this episode, listing them in the order in which they arrived at the pit stop at the end of the episode (hence the 'Spoiler Alert!').



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1. The Godlewski Family


It was amusing to me that the one time these b!tchy girls decide to be nice to the Weaver kids (at the go-cart track), the Weaver kids were so used to being the most loathed team on the race that they (understandably, in my opinion) took their sympathy for fake and patronising insincerity. They lost their flight reservations and I wish they hadn’t gone up to the counter to arrange seats closer to the front of the aeroplane, because otherwise they wouldn’t have discovered the error until they tried to board – as it was, they were able to get an alternate flight that actually put them in first place. What’s with the phrase, “Oh man, it’s hotter than snot!”?? They argued a lot and when Michelle got the directions wrong, she naturally got crabby with her other sisters. Makes perfect sense to me. I don’t like these girls much. There’s almost no one left in the show who’s likeable.



2. The Weaver Family


Their good efforts to move back up into second place (again) underlines what I said a few weeks ago about how they’re a surprisingly efficient team and always manage to work their way up the pack. They even did it last week after being Yielded. I must say their continual prayers are becoming a bit annoying. They’re allowed to pray, but have they ever heard of an internal monologue? Maybe the only thing that’s annoying is the way the editors of the show put crazy and/or ‘omm’ing music underneath it, making them sound like quacks. I really liked how Mum Linda insisted on doing the go-cart racing task to spare her children (although son Rolly might have been a wiser choice, if he was able to handle it); I thought it was very protective (while not being over-protective) of her to step in like that on a task that clearly resonated with the family over the death of the father. Again, it was cruel of the producers to include that task in an obvious attempt to increase the drama and stress of the race. I found it most amusing when the Weavers confronted a back-peddling DJ Paolo at the airport about him having Yielded them in the previous leg. He really had his back up against the wall (literally), and despite their claim that they’ve “been nothing but nice to you” (maybe to their faces!), his reply that he only Yielded them because they were the last team there was an outright lie. And he said “we can be friendly”, but I’m sure he didn’t mean it. Then in the final stretch of the show, when the Weavers passed a garbage truck on the highway, they started up the mocking references to them again: “There’s the Bronx team … Arizona’s finest.” I still want them to poll higher than the Linz family (and possibly the Godlewski family), but I’m not sure I want them to win anymore.



3. The Linz Family


I didn’t like the nasty grin the boys gave each other when the go-carting brother pulled into the pitstop and they made reference to him running Linda Weaver off the track momentarily. They knew the Weavers’ backstory; they were just being mean and vindictive for their own purposes. I suspect that the Linz family is going to win the series, and it makes me sad chiefly because I hate it when bullies prosper.



4. The Paolo Family


A word of advice for young families just heading out on an adventure such as this: If you can’t swim very well, don’t volunteer to swim. Especially not when you’re under pressure tod do it quickly and everyone’s in a panic. It was funny how Tony couldn’t swim and DJ couldn’t care. Wifey noticed how – all throughout the episode – the Paolo family members yell the exact same thing over each other all the time. It’s amusing (unless you hate them, in which case I can’t imagine how painful it must be to listen to all their carrying-on!). After the sugar cane task, it was hilarious to see how his parents singing the ‘Scotch Finger Biscuits’ song embarrassed DJ no end: “Am I in hell?” In the same bit, he was yelling to Brian to read the next clue before they pointed out that he had it. Then things started to get progressively worse for the Paolos. Marion didn’t like being told they were off to Phoenix Arizona (“Phoenix Arizona? What the hell are we going to Phoenix Arizona for?”) and her wishful thinking got the better of her (“I wanna go to New Zealand!”). Just make sure you don’t drop in to Melbourne on the way through, okay lady? When searching for the cars in the Phoenix airport, Marion finally asked the question that I (and many other viewers) have been asking since the very first episode: “I don’t know why your father doesn’t knock your block off.” Okay, so it’s not a question – but you get the idea. Other statements made throughout the leg (“I hope you never get married, DJ – no one could stand the way you go on” and “You got a nasty mouth on you”) further demonstrated the complicated mother-son relationship they enjoy. I think it’s time somebody moved out of home!



5. The Bransen Family: SAFE!


I almost wish the Bransen family had been eliminated, although they’re less repulsive than some of the other families and therefore it’d be preferable to see them survive to the final episode at the expense of some of their competitors. At this point, I’d ideally love to see a Paolo/Weaver-Bransen final three, but I’m a realist and I know that’s not going to happen. They really went off course when they got lost heading for the pitstop this time, and it cost them dearly. It was highly amusing to see the Paolos misjudge how many teams were ahead of them and stop to put on all their clothes before the Bransens had arrived. The final mad dash to the mat with half their clothes on them was great footage! And what’s with Phil? He’s getting a chance to really show his wit this season. “I always knew you had a lot of support on this race, Tony, but now I see exactly how much support” (or words to that effect). I also thought it was sweet of the Paolo family to stop the Bransens stepping on the mat until the father-daughter-daughter-daughter team had put on all their clothes. (I’m ignoring the voice in my head that’s telling me the Paolos were actually trying to widen the gap between the final two teams by stalling the Bransens and making them waste valuable time for the start of the next leg!)



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Last week's tips:

First Team: The Paolo family (Wrong)
Last Team: The Linz family (Wrong)
Yield? No Correct!
Fast Forward? No Correct!
Elimination Week? Yes (Wrong)
Biggest Argument: The Bransen family (Wrong – it was the Paolos, of course)
Smartest Team: The Godlewski family Correct! (Simply for coming first)


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Next week's tips:

First Team: The Linz family.
Last Team: The Paolo family.
Yield? No.
Fast Forward? No.
Elimination Week? Yes.
Biggest Argument: The Paolo family.
Smartest Team: The Linz family.


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Peter Boyle - RIP

Peter Boyle:
18th October, 1935 – 12th December, 2006.


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Time Spent With My Neighbours

I worked out last night that Wifey and I have invested a lot of time in Neighbours this year.

The show is on hiatus for only four weeks of the year (which - when you think about it - is quite a schedule!), and that means they produce 48 weeks of 5 half-hour episodes. That's 240 episodes per year, totaling 120 solid hours of television (but of course that number includes all ad breaks, credit sequences, and "previously" recaps).

To the best of our memory, Wifey and I missed only two episodes in 2006. That's right; we saw every single episode of the show bar two of them. One was recapped for us by the e'er-delightful MelbourneGirl, and the other we just let slide. I'm not certain, but there may have been a third episode much earlier in the year that we also missed, so for argument's sake, let's just say we missed three episodes.

That means the pair of us actually sat down and watched 237 episodes of Australia's favourite soapie (everyone knows Home & Away is junk), totaling 118 and a half hours of television.

(For those of you playing at home, that means we didn't even miss an episode during the birth of Sweetums - we had people tape them for us and caught up later, taping each evening's show as the weeks progressed and watching them all back in the correct order later. True.)

Because the three of us are headed to Queensland next week for a brief holiday (we head off this Saturday), we're delighted that the show is ending for the year this Friday night. That means we won't be missing any episodes while we're away. You could be forgiven for assuming we purposely booked our holiday to coincide with the show's annual four-week break ... but I swear we didn't. It's a complete coincidence, but a happy one nonetheless.

So you think that's terribly sad? Sure. Sick and wrong? Absolutely. A kind of madness requiring medical attention? No argument here. You son of a motherless goat? Hey, watch it, fella.

My point is that it's been one solitary year since Paul Robinson was strangled nearly to death by Harold Bishop in the 2005 cliffhanger. Doesn't that seem a lot longer ago? In that time, we've seen lots of thing happen, such as Steph's cancer resurfacing and being beaten, Sky fell pregnant to any one of three different guys, Karl & Susan got back together, the Timmins family hit the jackpot, Janelle quit school and became an apprentice mechanic, Stingray became an alco (and kicked it again), Karl quit doctoring, there were a couple of marriages, a few heartbreaking relationship break-ups, various changes in vocation, changes in living arrangements, deaths, births, disappearances, secrets, lies and various other comings and goings.


Those who've joined the show since the start of the year include:

Charlie Hoyland
Cameron / Robert Robinson
Gail Robinson
JP the Crappy Art Teacher
Mishka the Russian Overactor
Loris Timmins
Summer Hoyland (again)
Carmella Cammeniti (again)
Rosita Cammeniti
Frazer Yeats (not his real name)
Pepper Steiger (not her real name)
Will Griggs
Guy Sykes
Glenn Close (Boyd's Tasmanian fling)
Blind Anne (the real Bree Timmins)
Kerry Mangel
Lesbian Mechanic Christine Steiger


Those who've left the show since the start of the year include:

Connor O'Neill
Stuart Parker
Max Hoyland
Izzy Hoyland
Summer Hoyland (again)
Kim Timmins
Loris Timmins
Blind Anne (the real Bree Timmins)
Cameron / Robert Robinson
Gail Robinson
JP the Crappy Art Teacher
Mishka the Russian Overactor


Celebrities who appeared on the show this year included:

Shane Warne
Rove McManus
Brodie Holland (Australian Rules Football player for the woefully-bad Collingwood Football Club - sorry Clokes!)


*Spoiler Alert!*

Those we can look forward to seeing join the show in the new year include:

Louise 'Lolly' Carpenter (again)
Frazer Yeats' brother 'Ringo' (Johnny Brown or another one?)
Max Hoyland (again)
Glenn Close (Boyd's Tasmanian fling - again - presumably)
Izzy Hoyland (again) with Karl's baby (my theory)
Summer Hoyland (again - probably)
Rowena Wallace (from Sons & Daughters)
Rachel Gordon (from Blue Heelers)
David Hoflin (from McLeod's Daughters)
Dee Bliss-Rebecchi (just my tip)
Connor O'Neill (again - just my fervent wish)


Those we can look forward to seeing leave the show in the new year include:

Lyn Scully-Robinson (actually, my prediction is she'll die in the Maldives)
Oscar Sully (as above)
Katya Kinski
Will Griggs
Dylan Timmins
Scott 'Stingray' Timmins
Max Hoyland (again)
Izzy Hoyland (again)
Summer Hoyland (again - presumably)


Celebrities we can look forward to seeing on the show in the new year include:

Andrew G
Emma Bunton (British Baby Spice)
Michael Parkinson (British TV interviewer)
Jo Whiley (British radio DJ)
Neil Morrissey (British man behaving badly)
Julian Clary (British homosexual)

The really clever amongst you may have detected a bit of a running theme towards the end, there. I wonder what that means for where parts of the show may be filmed in 2007 ... ?!


(End Spoiler Alert)


I'm already looking forward to the season finale this Friday. Who'll be taken hostage by bad guy Guy Sykes? (Answer: Steph, Charlie, Toadie, Zeke and Katya.) Who'll be shot? (Answer: Toadie.) Who'll survive? (Answer: All of them.) This stuff's not spoiler material 'cos it's all on the cover of TV Week.

And then it'll be four weeks of physical withdrawal symptoms while we await the 2007 season premiere. I love it.



UPDATE:

By the way, Ned Parker wins the Slut of the Year Award 2006. At various points throughout the year, he was involved with:

1) Elle Robinson
2) Izzy Hoyland
3) That weird blonde chick who lied about her niece and tried to 'Yoko Ono' Oodles and Noodles (you know the one; she eats her boyfriend's chunky soup on that ad and gets a hairy back - which serves her right)
4) Loris Timmins
5) An old woman he ticketed as a parking inspector before tearing up the ticket
6) Katya Kinski
7) Carmella Cammeniti
8) and various other faceless chicks he'd be chatting up in the Scarlet Bar on various occasions (at least three times throughout the year when he hadn't been seeing one of the above women for an episode and a half)


Way to go, Ned!


.

24 - Season 6 - Extended Trailer

In celebration of the sixth season of 24 starting in the States at the moment (or shortly or a short time ago; whichever it is), and also the season five release on DVD in Australia, I thought I'd link you up to the trailer for the sixth season if you haven't already seen it.

It looks really good! I'm excited, even though we'll have to wait months before we get to see the latest season.

Watch the sixth season's "extended trailer" here.

And if you know anything about the show at all and appreciate a laugh, this 'change of direction' clip should amuse you.



In other news, you'll all be delighted to hear that Network Ten is again advertising the season return of The 4400: tonight (Sunday 10th December), after that piece of cinematic brilliance, Back to the Future. Looks like my whinging worked. But let's wait and see if the episode actually airs before we get too excited. Now Ten just has to finish the half-screened season of Battlestar Galactica for me. Then we'll be best friends again.


.

Golden-Haired Princess De-Throned

... Spoiler Alert! ... Spoiler Alert! ...


If you haven't yet seen (and you intend to see) episode 6 of The Amazing Race Series 8 - Family Edition (TAR 8), do not read any further!


--------------------


The last TAR 8 episode we saw here in Australia ended with the Godlewski family being the last team to reach the pit stop but the first team to be saved from elimination on the Family Edition of the show. The pit stop was located at Mira Flores Locks on the Pacific side of the Panama Canal.

For the record, this was the order in which the teams reached Phil on the mat last episode, and the order in which they started this leg of the race:

1. The Paolo Family
2. The Weaver Family
3. The Bransen Family
4. The Linz Family
5. The Gaghan Family
6. The Godlewski Family


Note: If you're already ahead of this point in the series, please refrain from giving any spoilers in your comments. Thank you.

As always, I’ll provide my thoughts on each team in this episode, listing them in the order in which they arrived at the pit stop at the end of the episode (hence the 'Spoiler Alert!').



--------------------


1. The Paolo Family


I can’t believe how well this family is doing – considering all they seem to do is lash out at each other! How can they be so effective? It’s disarming. And I find myself greatly enjoying their exploits on the field. I’m almost cheering them on. It’s heartwarming when they come to new realisations, like the fact that DJ is impressed and respectful of what his father does for a living. It’s just nice. And sure, maybe it’s nothing much but it seems like it is when compared to their normal behaviour, but that’s okay. There was of screaming-encouragement of/to Marion to get through the final dash to the pit stop, and for a while there it looked like the Linz family might overtake Marion. But no, the Paolo family pulled through again to take out the top prize. So it was another scary (and no doubt smelly) hug between Tony and Phil, and a pretty cool prize into the bargain. Good on ‘em.




2. The Linz Family


I objected strongly to the statement (as they considered whether or not to Yield “the Florida team” – which is to say, the Weaver family), “Let’s be mean for a day”. Pfft! They are constantly mean. They’re jocks, and bullies. And it’s typical of such people not to see just how mean-spirited they actually are. They’re unpleasant people, the more you get to know them. I really don’t want them to win. Unfortunately, I think they’re the team that’s best set-up to walk away with the million dollars, at this point. I’d love for them to be Yielded (if the other teams have any common sense they’ll see that their biggest real threat to the million is the Linz family), and then maybe be eliminated as a direct result. It’s possibly the only way they’ll fall far enough behind to come in last. They’re very strong, and they constantly arrive in the top three spots. That final run to the pit stop last night was probably going to be theirs if it was another hundred metres further. Megan would have outrun Marion eventually. I’m glad she didn’t.




3. The Bransen Family


It was strange to me that Wally wanted his blonde, beautiful daughters to get out of the van at night and approach a couple of shady-looking characters on a dark street in a foreign country to ask for directions. What is he - crazy? The fact that he got a little grumpy with them for it was stupid. I wouldn’t want my daughters getting out to talk to those guys in that setting. It’s just sensible for the man to ask. What a Wally. Again, there wasn’t much else to report on the Bransen family. If I was making up nicknames for this season, I’d be calling these guys the Blandsens. I really couldn’t care less about them.




4. The Godlewski Family


Perhaps the best bit of this episode was Sharon Godlewski’s massive sulk when she cracked it about the driving. She seems to have done almost all the driving so far on the race … maybe she actually has done all of it, because I can’t remember any of the other three being behind the wheel before Michelle was forced to step up. I know the teams are all really feeling the stress and sleep deprivation of the accumulated legs by now, so it’s often highly amusing to see how this plays out in the team dynamics – and it’s even better this year because they’re all four-member-family teams. These girls can be really b!tchy when they want to be, including making it clear that they were being nice to the Weavers to get something out of them, but didn’t intend to continue being nice to them. What cows.




5. The Weaver Family


Okay, things started out looking good for this team when they loaned the penniless Godlewskis some money despite the latter’s behaviour towards the Weavers last week. But then (after touting on about how they’re Christians), the Weavers started going off the rails. After stupidly stopping for directions (ordinarily I’d say you should always ask for directions, but when every other team passes you while you’re doing it and you lose your second place spot - knowing there’s a Yield ahead and you’re the most hated team on the race – then it’s a definite mistake!), the Weavers were Yielded. That part wasn’t a surprise, but what was a surprise was the fact that it was the Paolos who Yielded them; not the Linzes! The Weavers’ behaviour while they waited at the Yield was utterly atrocious, too. They insulted (behind their backs, what’s more) the Paolo family (“They’re in front of a garbage truck!”), Brian Paolo in particular (“He looks like a chipmunk”), and the Godlewski girls (“I hope those boobs cost a lot”), in addition to pounding the picture of the Paolos on the Yield sign out of frustration. Not what you’d call a very good example of Christianity (but then, no self-proclaimed Christian in the public eye ever is, because eventually they’re going to be a human and let the rest of the side down … but IMHO that’s more due to the unrealistic expectations of the public than anything else. After all, they’re only claiming to be Christians; they never said they were Christ himself ... and here are three such examples. But either way, we can at least agree that the Weavers sure weren’t setting a good example to everyone watching around the world. I was hoping (although it was pretty obvious that it wasn’t gonna go that way) that the Gaghans were somehow going to beat the Weavers to the pit stop … but it wasn’t to be.




6. The Gaghan Family : ELIMINATED!


This family is undoubtedly my favourite of this season. It was heartbreaking to see them falter at the red coffee bean challenge; a roadblock that was a one-person task only, and completely random in terms of how quickly it could be completed. Mum Tammy did the best she could, and the other family members had to watch from the sidelines. As Wifey said when Dad Bill was saying there was nothing they could do to help her, “he’s a nice man”. She said it full of warmth, too – not flippantly. Son Billy was an excitable but generally pleasant kid (to be honest, I was fearful of the kind of snotty little American children this season may have held in store for us, but thankfully we’ve been spared that horror), and I can’t say enough nice things about daughter Carissa. Her tears when Phil gave them the bad news were heartbreaking. She's such a sweetie. I very much wish they were still in the race, because they’d proven themselves to be a formidable team, even catching up considerably – and overtaking other teams – in the initial drive at night to the closed volcano park (and what’s with none of the teams being ready at the gates when they were opened the next morning, btw?!).

Due to the Weavers’ carrying on in this episode, I’ve gone off them completely. So I now find myself in the bizarre position of announcing that my new favourite team is … the Paolo family! (I know; how weird.)


--------------------


Last week's tips:

First Team: The Gaghan family. (Wrong – so freakin’ wrong)
Last Team: The Linz family. (Wrong)
Yield? Yes. Correct! (A complete fluke, quite honestly ... although you can sorta tell what's due when)
Fast Forward? No. Correct!
Elimination Week? Yes. Correct!
Biggest Argument: The Paolo family. (Wrong – it was the Godlewski girls)
Smartest Team: The Gaghan family. (Wrong – I actually think it was the Paolos for going with the banana task, which meant they got to the pit stop first)


--------------------


Next week's tips:

First Team: The Paolo family (I might as well jump on their bandwagon now).
Last Team: The Linz family (They’re still bullies and I want them gone).
Yield? No.
Fast Forward? No.
Elimination Week? Yes.
Biggest Argument: Just to be different, I’m going to say the Bransen family.
Smartest Team: The Godlewski family (*shrugs* - I dunno).


.

Another Mega Car Rally!

There's another show starting up on Australian TV at the curious time of 6:30pm Saturdays which caught my eye in TV Week a few days ago.

It's called Treasure Hunters, and although Channel Seven clearly doesn't have much confidence in it (based on the day and timeslot they've given it - not to mention that they've decided to run it in the non-ratings period), the premise seems very much like The Amazing Race (TAR) on steroids, so I'm sure to love it.




The article in TV Week - albeit brief - made it clear that it's very similar to TAR, but until I see it, I'm not going to feel cheated. I think we all know how much I love TAR, but I'm not so bloody-minded about it that I won't enjoy a similar show if it turns out to be better (even if it did only come about because someone tried to copy-and-best TAR). Of course, if it turns out to be worse, then I daresay I'll be fairly unforgiving.

The article in question reads:

Described as The Amazing Race meets The Da Vinci Code, Treasure Hunters sends 10 teams of three - including Team Ex-CIA, Team Miss USA and Team Geniuses - on a search around the globe for clues to a treaure, promised to be "the richest prize in television history”. Teams have to crack a code and abseil down a glacier – and that’s just for starters.

Unfortunately the ‘secret’ grand prize which is "the richest prize in television history” has been spoilt for me courtesy of the Internet, but I won’t spoil it for anyone else reading. Suffice it to say that it’s worth going through hell for, and I’m sure the teams do exactly that.

I think I’m really gonna love Treasure Hunters - for the same reason I love TAR - they’re both like giant car rallies. I love a good car rally. The race against the clock, the speedometer, and the other teams. The dirty play as one team leave bogus clues behind to confuse the teams that follow. The (non-dangerous kind of) sabotage that goes on ... all for laughs, of course. Car rallies of old. The idea that a car rally includes such stunts as bungee jumps and eating live cockroaches adds the blood-pumping adrenaline angle that is otherwise missing from any car rally you or I have ever been on. And it makes for great television.

Hopefully the show will live up to my expectations. I also hope it’ll soon find an audience, and that it gets moved from its dead-air timeslot to a more palatable evening position ... and then ‘wow’ the nation at large.


.

The Worst Shall Be First

... Spoiler Alert! ... Spoiler Alert! ...


If you haven't yet seen (and you intend to see) episodes 4 and 5 of The Amazing Race Series 8 - Family Edition (TAR 8), do not read any further!


--------------------


The last TAR 8 episode we saw here in Australia ended with the Schroeder family being the last team to reach the pit stop and the fourth team to be eliminated from the Family Edition of the show. The pit stop was located at Preservation Hall in the French Quarter of New Orleans (pre-Katrina ... I wonder how accurate the name ‘Preservation Hall’ ended up being post-Katrina?!).

Because this episode was aired back-to-back in Australia with the episode that followed, I will post a separate post for each episode. This is Part 2. (Click here for Part 1.)

For the record, this was the order in which the teams reached Phil on the mat last episode, and the order in which they started this leg of the race:

1. The Bransen Family
2. The Paolo Family
3. The Linz Family
4. The Godlewski Family
5. The Weaver Family
6. The Gaghan Family


Note: If you're already ahead of this point in the series, please refrain from giving any spoilers in your comments. Thank you.

As always, I’ll provide my thoughts on each team in this episode, listing them in the order in which they arrived at the pit stop (hence the 'Spoiler Alert!').



--------------------



1. The Paolo Family


It’s frickin’ hilarious that the Paolo family ended up doing the tandem bungee jumps for the Fast Forward. Like the Gaghans, I honestly thought Marion and DJ wouldn’t go through with it. I was mighty surprised (and begrudgingly impressed) that they did. I wouldn’t have tipped it. And how funny it is that the Paolos – of all teams – are the family to take out the only Fast Forward on the entire race for this series?! So they finally came first. Will they be able to maintain their lead next week? (Hot tip: No.) It was actually disturbing (in her face-to-camera interviews) that Marion said she felt it was her duty to take the punches (not literally), and that having DJ hug her and tell her he loves her at the end of the race would be her ideal outcome. That brought tears to our eyes! Here she is, rough as guts and arguing with the best of them, and deep down inside it’s easy to forget that she’s still a woman who wants to be loved by her arrogant family. It was amusing that even Sharon, one of the nastier Godlewski girls – who aren’t afraid of the odd verbal stoush, themselves! – tapped DJ on the shoulder at one point and told him he was mean to his mother! It seemed to do the trick, too. He sheepishly denied that he was “that mean”, and seemed to watch himself a bit more after that. It couldn’t have been scripted any better (hmm, maybe it was) when DJ was partnered up with Marion for the bungee jump. Marion was the brave one (I am still amazed by this), and DJ was the girly-girl-girl who screamed like a seven-year-old girly-girl, whose Girl Scout cookies have just been stolen by a ferocious bear (who enjoys eating girly-girl-girls for breakfast). That was pretty funny. The fact that they’re in the lead guarantees that they’ll be in next week’s episode at least (hopefully more), but I’d prefer the Paolos were eliminated if it came down to them or the Gaghans (or the Weavers, actually).




2. The Weaver Family


I was very impressed with the Weavers in this episode. They are constantly the butt of wild accusations and unfair exaggeration/rumour/untruths, which would all boil down to intimidation and slander in the real world. And from the ad we saw for next week’s show, it would appear that the Linz family (or it could be someone else) takes some very deliberate steps to hamper the Weaver’s chances of finishing the leg. Seeing that in the ad made my blood boil, so I’m really not going to enjoy watching that part of the next episode (and I’ll be hopping mad if those cruel actions actually do lead to the Weavers’ elimination). I’d love to see the bullies penalised for it, but that’s probably not going to happen (depending on what it is the bullying team in question ends up doing), and besides: Car rallies are built on trickery and mayhem. (But this isn’t, strictly speaking, a car rally. As much as I enjoy drawing the parallel.) The Weavers had a moment of glory when they showed up the Linz family for the bitter and vindictive bad sports that they are, by telling them off for heckling Rolly at the baseball field. It’s true that the Weavers were cheering everyone on, while the Linzes were being cruel and poor sportsmen. The Weavers showed what they were made of in that moment. (The fact that the Linzes later bitched about the incident, grossly misrepresenting what they and the Weavers had said, only made them even more distasteful in the long run.) If not for the Fast Forward, the Weavers would have come first this leg. They’ve had a very impressive track record, considering the members of their team and their apparent physical abilities (at least at first glance). I hope the race is giving them a heightened sense of self-worth and purpose after the loss of their husband/father, even if the way they are referred to by the other teams is a disgrace (all except the Gaghans and Paolos, interestingly!).




3. The Bransen Family


This family barely registered as a blip on my radar during this episode. They didn’t make my notes at all. Maybe they’ve got to be mooning someone to be of any interest. How sad. To be fair, I should point out that they’re also doing very well (dark horse, perhaps?) to be consistently arriving in the top few places each leg (for a few episodes now). They might be a team to watch. If they ever do anything noteworthy (that involves keeping their pants pulled up, that is).




4. The Linz Family


I’ve gone off these guys now, based entirely on the way they treat the Weaver family. I don’t care if you, the readers/viewers, do dislike the Weavers ... picking on them and victimising them the way the Linz family in particular has been doing is just not on. I can’t explain in words suitable for publication on this family-friendly blog exactly how much I despise the kind of behaviour we’ve been witnessing the Linz, Schroeder and Godlewski family (as well as the Bransens, to a lesser extent) dish out to the Weavers – both to their faces, and (moreso) behind their backs. How cowardly, weak, mean-spirited, and evil. What black hearts they must have. I understand they’re all in a race against each other, but they’ve befriended each other easily enough (and not really gotten close to the Paolo or Gaghan families without having to be so disgusting in their treatment of them), so where did this spiteful hatred come from? It’s unjustifiable and is completely shameful. True ‘jock’ attitude. And if we take the religious viewpoint and suggest that the Weavers’ faith has anything to do with why they’ve been ostricised from the majority of the group, then that just boils down to good old-fashioned discrimination. I’m pretty sure America touts on about how tolerant they are ... but then we see examples of how a generally well-meaning family – who are part of the nation’s MAJORITY – can be treated as second-class scum by the venomous and atrociously-behaved few. I pity the people who treat others that way; it shows how shallow and angry they are inside. I have nothing more to say about these people.




5. The Gaghan Family


I was very happy when the Gaghans appeared at the top of those stairs and met Phil on the mat before the Godlewski girls! Once DJ and Marion had finally taken their leap of girly-girl-girl screams, I felt sure that the Gaghans were going to be in last place. In fact, by all rights they should have been. I’m not sure exactly what they did right (or what the Godlewski family did wrong) to enable them to be safe from the curse of last place. Maybe choosing the instruments detour when they’re such great runners or just their excellent navigation skills coming to the fore again, I don’t know. Maybe it had something to do with Carissa (I’d like to think that’s gonna be it!). Whatever it was, they were spared the ‘give me all your money and possessions’ thing, which may have been too much for the kiddies. Or not (they’re pretty robust). They live to race another day; that’s all I care about. And considering how brilliantly they’ve performed on the race so far, it’s surprisingly that they’ve rated so lowly in most legs. I hope they get a chance to move further up the pack soon and avoid elimination.




6. The Godlewski Family: SAFE!


Without a doubt, the Godlewski and Linz families are at their ugliest when they focus all their energy on hating and back-stabbing the Weaver family. The fact that the Weaver woman told the Linzes’ boat driver to go slow is nothing on a race such as this. And I know that makes me sound like a hypocrite in light of what I said above about what clearly amounts to someone’s retaliation for that ‘crime’, but I really think they’re different things. One was done out of competitiveness (and in front of them; presumably half-jokingly), and the other (although I haven’t seen it yet!) was done out of downright maliciousness and revenge. I bet there’s nothing ‘playful’ about the action of cruelty that gets carried out on the Weavers in the next episode. The Godlewski girls were sucked into the Linzes’ evil game this week, and because the two teams were working together for much of the leg, they now share a common ‘enemy’. The two amusing things while both teams collected their musical instruments was that the boys ended carrying most of the eight instruments the two teams needed between them, and the comment by eldest sister Michelle, “We’re gonna make Tricia (the youngest sister) make out with one of you guys,” presumably by way of payment for their assistance. Not that it ended up helping them very much – despite high-tailing it out of the blues club well before the Gaghans arrived, the latter teams was able to overtake the girls between there and the pit stop, and the girls were only saved by the first pre-determined non-elimination round of the season. How do we trust that it was pre-determined? Look at where they are. Every non-elimination round leave our battling team with no money and forced to beg for cash from an impoverished community. It makes it that much harder. It will be interesting to see how many times her three older sisters volunteer Tricia’s kissing skills in return for some money next week. As they approached the pit stop, the Godlewskis seemed to sense that they were going to be the last team to arrive, so they began putting all their clothes on over everything else. Soon, they were billowed up like balloons and looked quite ridiculous (but amusing). And then Phil greeted them, told them they were last-but-safe, took their excess baggage (of which there was very little not already on them), and asked, “Did you know it was illegal in Panama to wear underpants on top of underpants on top of your pants?” I kept rewinding the tape so I could hear him say it again and again and again!




--------------------


Last week's tips:

First Team: The Gaghan family. (Wrong)
Last Team: The Paolo family. (Wrong - very wrong!)
Yield? No. Correct!
Fast Forward? Yes. Correct! (I reasoned they’d probably end the second of the double episodes with the non-elimination, to act as a teaser for next week ... it works better that way than the other way around.)
Elimination Week? No. Correct!
Biggest Argument: The Paolo family. Correct!
Smartest Team: The Weaver family. Hmm, I’m gonna say: Correct! again.


--------------------


Next week's tips:

First Team: The Gaghan family.
Last Team: The Linz family (wishful thinking?).
Yield? Yes.
Fast Forward? No.
Elimination Week? Yes.
Biggest Argument: The Paolo family.
Smartest Team: The Gaghan family.


.

The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

... Spoiler Alert! ... Spoiler Alert! ...


If you haven't yet seen (and you intend to see) episodes 4 and 5 of The Amazing Race Series 8 - Family Edition (TAR 8), do not read any further!


--------------------


The last TAR 8 episode we saw here in Australia ended with the Aiello family being the last team to reach the pit stop and the third team to be eliminated from the Family Edition of the show. The pit stop was located at space shuttle Pathfinder in the US Space and Rocket Center.

Because this episode was aired back-to-back in Australia with the episode that followed, I will post a separate post for each episode. This is Part 1. (Click here for Part 2.)

For the record, this was the order in which the teams reached Phil on the mat last episode, and the order in which they started this leg of the race:

1. The Bransen Family
2. The Linz Family
3. The Schroeder Family
4. The Godlewski Family
5. The Weaver Family
6. The Paolo Family
7. The Gaghan Family


Note: If you're already ahead of this point in the series, please refrain from giving any spoilers in your comments. Thank you.

As always, I’ll provide my thoughts on each team in this episode, listing them in the order in which they arrived at the pit stop (hence the 'Spoiler Alert!').



--------------------



1. The Bransen Family


It seemed to me that this leg of the race was slanted heavily in favour of whichever teams were already in the lead when they started out. There wasn't much an an 'equaliser' this time for the teams at the back of the pack to have a half-decent chance of catching up to the teams who were enjoying a healthy headstart anyway. That's not normal for TAR. Apart from the fact that they easily coasted into a back-to-back win on this leg, the only thing worth noting was that one of the carbon-copy daughters mooned the Linz family (of all families to choose!) out the window of their van. Naturally, this only proved to excite the Linz boys. But as Wifey said, “I’d never moon anyone with my father there!” But the Bransens all thought it was hilarious, and it led to a few recurring gags along the same lines (one of which had father Wally even suggesting to his daughters that they do it again on the later – crazy!). Phil’s question to the Linzes at the end that there was a full moon out today was great. That man can do no wrong.




2. The Paolo Family


Moving from sixth to second place was pretty impressive, no matter what I may think of this family. And although I don’t like the Paolos at all, I don’t want to see them eliminated yet. They’re too much fun to watch. The arguments between DJ and his mother Marion in this episode were intense and hinted at a dangerously imbalanced mindset within the family. It’s not a healthy relationship if you’re arguing that much! Just move out, kid. Get some counselling. Breathe. And, just to be sure things are okay ‘upstairs’, best not to go on an intense thirty-day reality TV show where you race other families around the world/country under immense pressure and stress. Doesn’t seem like a good idea to me. (Number of times the father has stood up for his wife to his insolent sons: Still nil.) The thunderstorm that appeared as they finished their lap around the speedway was cah-razy! Good thing the Weavers weren’t still there ... it all would have seemed like a horror movie to them.




3. The Linz Family


When the Bransen chick mooned the Linz family, one of the guys (who I also struggle to tell apart) lent out their van’s window and lifted his top to show them his bare chest, before yelling out, “Now it’s your turn!”. Despite everything, I thought this was a somewhat amusing response to a slightly unusual event (considering the Bransen girls were travelling with their father, after all). The guys in this team are pretty much a bunch of meatheads who are clearly at home on an American Gridiron football field. Rough and blokey. There wasn’t much to say about them here.




4. The Godlewski Family


I must say, when the Paolo family is working smarter than you are, you’ve got problems! Missing the BP service station (shameless plug, but after giving away four lifetime refills in the previous episode, fair enough!) was embarrassing enough, but that crying fit one of them had in the car was just nuts. I kinda think four women setting out on a race such as this is a risky move (as far as mood swings go).




5. The Weaver Family


It was another tough leg for the Weavers (emotionally), and yet another leg where they proved themselves to be greater than the sum of their parts by doing surprisingly well. They again kept at the head of their second-half of the pack, and even managed to deal with what really must have been a terribly difficult thing to do – visiting a car race track (and be led to believe they’d be driving in a car, to boot) when the father of the family died in a race car accident a year earlier. Putting aside the snide comments by the other teams for a moment, that would have been horrifying for the family. And I think it was kinda mean of the producers to knowingly arrange for that detour specifically for the Weaver family (let’s be honest – they did it for the drama it’d cause, which is pretty heartless). Still, they pushed through it and hopefully managed to deal with a few personal demons along the way.




6. The Gaghan Family


Carissa is a gun! The father, Bill, is also brilliant (in fact, they all are), and he showed this when he directed them to go another way to the speedway, beating the Paolo family who were ahead of them at the time. Despite Carissa not being able to pedal on that wacky bike thing (and son Billy presumably being able to achieve very little as well), they seemed to scoot through that challenge as quickly as anyone, and didn’t fall behind. Both parents are really fit and don’t mind pushing things to the limit. They’re also remarkably well-mannered and good-natured, considering the stresses, frustrations and sleep-deprived children in the team. Compare them to just about any other team. These guys are the clear favourites in terms of who ‘deserves’ it most. I don’t want them to be eliminated.

While I’m here, I must also thank a reader by the name of Alison Rutledge, who sent me a link to a series of online posts Carissa Gaghan has been writing (or ‘wrote’, actually) for the TAR episodes as each one originally aired in the US. Ally, although you sent me the link, when it started to load (before I’d seen this double episode I’m currently reviewing) I noticed that it was for an episode I was yet to see, so I quickly closed it down to avoid anything being ‘spoilt’. I won’t say which episode it was for, in case that also indicates how far the Gaghans go in the race, but I’ll keep the link and check the whole thing out after the series finishes airing (I realise this may be unnecessary precaution, but I really don’t want to risk having it all spoilt for me). Alison notes that the weekly commentary from Carissa is called “Carissa Explains It All”, and “it’s rather wonderful”. I have no doubt that it would be, because Carissa is an absolute gem. If anyone else wants to check it out and doesn’t mind the possible spoiler element of the commentaries (for Australian viewers), this is the link in question. Thanks again, Alison. :)




7. The Schroeder Family: ELIMINATED!


My goodness, this family just fell apart in this episode! And they didn’t exactly come out smelling like roses, either. From daughter Stassi announcing at the start that they were the underdogs (an unusual statement for the team starting out in third place to make), to the continual and really nasty Weaver family-bashing comments all throughout the leg, the Schroeders didn’t appeal to me at all in this episode. When father Mark made the disatraous decision to disregard what the Sheriff told them about the Colonel Motorhome Park place they were looking for (“No. It wouldn’t be that easy.”), he set off a chain reaction that had Stassi in hysterics and loathing him with a passion. The only time they were united was when they shared their mutual hatred of the Weavers ... and even then, Stassi went so far that Mark had to tell her, “You’re being nasty and it’s ugly”. Stop and think about this for a second. Two things I want to say, here. First ... Stassi, if your Dad is the one telling you you’re being so cruel about someone else that you’re coming across as a really ugly person, then I’d say you’ve got a major problem on your hands – you’d better sit up and take notice! You must really have an anger issue for him to be calling you on it. And second ... Mark, I wonder where she gets that from. Stassi’s crazy crying at the motorhome park, saying that she didn’t want to be “with the Florida family” (the Weavers) was so spoilt-child and irrational (not to mention misplaced cruelty, because the Weavers actually aren’t guilty of all the supposed ‘crimes’ that have been unfairly attributed to them, IMHO), that Wifey snapped angrily at the television, “Oh, piss off, Veruca Salt!” It was a good thing we were watching the show on tape, because I had to stop the tape for five minutes while I laughed myself silly. Char, the ‘evil stepmom’ burst into tears when they heard they’d been eliminated, and Wifey (still angry with the family as a whole) scoffed at them. But I could at least understand why such a let-down after everything the family had been through (on all legs of the race so far) would result in a stress release such as crying. I didn’t begrudge her that response. And Mark went a long way towards redeeming himself as a person by taking on the blame of the group’s demise himself ... which was done with far more grace and sincerity than Denny Rogers’ humble-pie-eating attempt when his family took a bullet a couple of weeks ago.


(In case you’re wondering, the ‘Good’ family was the Gaghans, the ‘Bad’ family was the Paolos, and the ‘Ugly’ family was definitely the Schroeders.)



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Last week's tips:

First Team: The Linz family. (Wrong)
Last Team: The Bransen family. (Wrong)
Yield? No. Correct!
Fast Forward? Yes. (Wrong) (I actually changed my mind about this before the episode aired – and told Wifey so – but am committed to this prediction so I’ll wear it.)
Elimination Week? Yes. Correct!
Biggest Argument: The Godlewski family. (Wrong)
Smartest Team: The Gaghan family. Tough one to call, because the Paolos moved so far up the ladder (but through dumb luck alone?), while the Gaghans even outsmarted the Paolos at one point ... and the only incident of the Paolos outsmarting anyone (the Godlewski family) was really due to the Godlewskis’ own error more than anything the Paolos did right. I’m going to say: Correct! (Object if you wish.)


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Next week's tips:

It might seem unfair to you that I watched two episodes in a row and an claiming to have made predictions from one to the next, but when I saw that it was a double episode and realised I’d need to give predictions for the second, I wrote these predictions down in my notes (before either episode in the two-parter had aired, making it harder to make predictions for the second one, as I didn’t know who - if anyone – would be eliminated in the first ep), and I reproduce those predictions in all their gory details here. Believe me if you will, doubt me if you wish.

First Team: The Gaghan family.
Last Team: The Paolo family.
Yield? No.
Fast Forward? Yes.
Elimination Week? No.
Biggest Argument: The Paolo family.
Smartest Team: The Weaver family.


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