Cruz Control

Well, Big Brother has started in Australia for another year. We’ve seen over a week of shows so far, and marvelled in BB’s gumption to cause friction by playing with a couple’s relationship the way he has with Andrew and Hayley. The addition of Hayley’s ex-boyfriend Billy into the House was inspired, genius and cruel – all at the same time.

It’s been a big year so far – no prize money (although not really, as we’ve seen tonight), a new Friday Night Live winner’s twist, ‘The White Room’, the secret couple, Mr X, and so on.

And here’s something for you to consider …


I know one of this year’s
Housemates in real life!

I won’t tell you who until they’re evicted (or win), but you’re free to guess. I’d be interested to know which of them you think I might know. (Bear in mind that I don’t know them very well – they used to work at my old workplace, but they weren’t one of the ‘problem people’.)

I’m happy to sign autographs, if you like. $5 a pop.

Anyway, last night’s episode saw our first sort of Housemate sort of evicted. Cruz elected to hit the red button and leave The White Room.

And fair enough.

Those people are going crazy in there, and it’s not too surprising, really. They have no stimulation (visual, audio, etc), and eat nothing but a suspicious white gruel made of oats and stuff.

When we first saw Cruz’s intro video, I felt sure I wasn’t going to like him. Claiming to be a male chauvinist and proud of it, it was difficult to see what could possibly endear him to the (largely female) voting public and entice them to vote him in.

Of course, he probably didn’t record that video thinking it’d be shown to the public who would then decide who to vote in, so in a way, I bet he was later thinking, “D’oh!”

But after seeing him interviewed a couple of times and watching him in The White Room for a week, there was nothing obvious about the boy to dislike. Maybe what he said was all for show? Perhaps he was just trying to stir up a bit of controversy so the show’s producers would put him in the House when those comments were filmed? Who knows and who cares.

The point is, I was ready to loathe him but found no follow-up reasons to do so.


I’m about to Cruz control
and I think I like it, yeah, yeah.

As for what happened in last night’s episode when Cruz hit the red button, I was VERY annoyed with BB and his CONTINUAL method of stuffing everything up.

When Cruz hit the button, we cut back to Gretel and she told us that Cruz shouldn’t play poker because BB was intending to go much higher than that.

Well, maybe if BB had FRAMED the offer properly, that would have been clear to the Wild Cards in The White Room and to the viewers watching at home. Because there was NOTHING in what BB said to signify that things were going to get interesting.

Instead of saying he was going to offer the Wild Cards money to leave The White Room and they had ten seconds to accept the offer because it was a ‘one-time’ deal, and then telling them it was $500, he should have told them he’d be increasing the money until one of them hit the button.

That would have added suspense and intrigue (not to mention pressure and greed) to the tension in The White Room (and for us watching at home).

Instead, BB didn’t even tell the Wild Cards when the ten seconds had started, so they were all surprised (as were Wifey and I) when BB announced that their time was up.

“What an anti-climax,” I said to Wifey, thinking that was the entire ‘carrot’ they were going to be offering.

When BB then upped the amount to $750, Cruz hit the red button because it was UNCLEAR that BB intended to keep offering more money. I’d say he was going to hit the button at $500, but was waiting for BB to give them some kind of indication that the clock had started ticking.

It was a complete foul-up of what could have been a much more exciting segment. Imagine the tension that the four Wild Cards might have gone through, if they wanted to leave the room, but wanted to let the money keep climbing, and yet didn’t want another of the four of them to ‘buzz in’ first!

THAT would have been worth watching.

But no, true to form, BB likes to completely misrepresent what he says to the Housemates and pauses in all the wrong and confusing places. The dude needs a new scriptwriter – and some elocution lessons!

Buddy, if you want the things you say to make sense and be worded in such a way that they’re not ambiguous and confusing, I’m happy for you to fly me to the Gold Coast so I can help you out. The way your dialogue is strung together at the moment is just embarrassing – not to mention friggin’ annoying!

And stop pausing in the wrong spots and rushing two sentences together where you’re meant to pause!

Here’s something BB said on Friday Night Live, complete with the pauses where he placed them. Hyphens indicate where he ran two words together in a mad hurry, almost making them sound like the one word. Each ellipsis (which is the fancy word for those three dots) indicates a lengthy pause:

“Housemates-start … when you hear … the buzzer-Do not … start … until Big Brother … instructs you-Ninja, … crack … the egg.”

What he SHOULD have said, complete with pauses and NO rushing of one word into another, is this:

“Housemates, do not begin until you hear the buzzer. Ninja, crack the egg.”

It drives me CRAZY (if you can’t tell) that no one’s had the guts to tell the show’s Executive Producer (BB himself) that he needs to tidy up the way he delivers his lines and have his script written in proper English. Or at least written in such a way as to get the best potential drama out of each moment.

It really sounds like he’s making it up as he goes along, and doesn’t realise what he’s going to say until he gets partway through each sentence. It’s a mess.

But let’s get back to Cruz and the other Wild Cards. Personally, I’m glad they’re getting worthwhile prizes, like a holiday to New Zealand. I reckon if they stayed in that room and got nothing more than a handshake and a cuddle when they came out, that’d be pretty rotten. I’m not fussed that they’ve done nothing on the show or even that they’re the four least-likeable options of the six “vote-‘em-in” Housemates who were on offer to the voting public last week – I think it’s the least the show’s producers could do for those poor kiddies who got their hopes up about going into the House and then weren’t even voted in.

Regardless of what you think of the four Wild Cards (Cruz = chauvinist; Kara = foul-mouthed nutbag; Harrison = headband-wearing blandy; Demet = Muslim who belly-dances and therefore shucks the Muslim religion so why even mention it? Are you just trying to look multicultural, BB? ‘Cos I find that more offensive), the poor dears deserve something worthwhile for their time and effort.

And so the three nominated Housemates this week are Kate, Bodie and Jamie. I think (and hope) Kate gets evicted, but you never can tell. I think Emma’s shown a really awful, b!tchy side to her this week, and Jamie’s a sweetie. Bodie’s hilarious, while Kate is probably the least likeable in the whole House.

Oh no … after TJ.

What a cruel, vindictive, thinks-she-knows-it-all b!tch TJ is! I can’t wait for her eviction. I don’t find her entertaining to watch at all – she’s a waste of everyone’s time.

Oh, and a memo to Zoran: DO SOMETHING.


.

Fighting Will Get You Nowhere

... Spoiler Alert! ... Spoiler Alert! ...


If you haven't yet seen (and you intend to see) episode 3 of The Amazing Race Series 11 – All Stars Edition (TARAS), do not read any further!


--------------------


The last TARAS episode we saw here in Australia ended with Kevin & Drew being the last team to reach the Pit Stop and the second team to be eliminated from the All Stars edition of the show. The Pit Stop was located in the town of San Pedro de Atacama in Chile.

For the record, this was the order in which the teams reached Phil on the mat last episode, and the order in which they started this leg of the Race:

1. Rob & Amber
2. Oswald & Danny
3. Joe & Bill
4. Eric & Danielle
5. Uchenna & Joyce
6. Dustin & Kandice
7. Teri & Ian
8. Charla & Mirna
9. David & Mary
10. Kevin & Drew


Note: If you're already ahead of this point in the series, please refrain from giving any spoilers in your comments. Thank you.

As always, I’ll provide my thoughts on each team in this episode, listing them in the order in which they arrived at the Pit Stop (hence the 'Spoiler Alert!').



--------------------



This was an episode of fighting! Things are getting pretty heated now – and everyone means business. Let me break it down for you before we get into looking at each team … David & Mary are still cut with Charla & Mirna for overtaking them in the previous leg. This is just stupid, because the girls shouldn’t have been expected to sit at the back of a four-car convoy simply because the lead car was being driven by the couple who helped them out of the mud earlier that day. It’s a race, you silly-hillbillies. Of course they’re going to try to overtake the teams in front of them! (Anyway, there was no reason for Mary to presume the girls wouldn’t then let them back in front again – there were two other teams to overtake as well as them!) Mary’s reaction was plain ridiculous, and she continued to harp on about it throughout this next leg as well. But that wasn’t all. Teri & Ian teamed up with Dustin & Kandice, Teri & Ian fought with Charla & Mirna at the airport check-in counter, Eric & Danielle pissed off Joe & Bill, Charla & Mirna gave lip to Dustin & Kandice, Rob & Amber teamed up with Eric & Danielle, and then Charla & Mirna teamed up with Joe & Bill. It couldn’t be more confusing if I’d tried to muddy the waters! The thing is, if we thought this episode was fight-heavy, just wait until next week’s episode! The promo (and host Phil Keoghan’s voiceover) for it described it as a finish that we won’t want to miss and that people will be talking about for days! Then we were shown footage of Charla & Mirna, Rob & Amber and a couple of other teams scrambling through scrub and bushes in a mad fight to (presumably) reach Phil at the Pit Stop before the other teams. It strikes me that this could mean a bit of a scuffle takes place, or perhaps a really heated argument, or maybe just a good old fashioned bit of fisticuffs. Or – and this is perhaps the most likely of all possible eventualities – Rob & Amber may be eliminated. Whatever it is, it looks like a great episode, so I can’t wait to see it. But first, I have to finish reviewing last night’s leg. So let’s get on with it.



1. Rob & Amber


Last week: 1
This week: No change

Another impressive leg from these two – they certainly deserve their first place status for continually getting the jump on the other teams. But you know what? In all my two pages of notes from this episode (which is a whole page more than normal), I’ve written NOTHING down about Rob & Amber – apart from them briefly working in cahoots with Eric & Danielle and then arriving at the Pit Stop in first place – so either nothing else they did was very remarkable, or everything everyone else did was so amazing that I could only spare the time to write down about what the other teams were up to! Hopefully Rob & Amber provide me with more noteworthy fodder next time … like being eliminated! (Although, unlike the first time they appeared on TAR, this time I’m not eager to see them eliminated … I just think it’d be pretty funny.)




2. Uchenna & Joyce


Last week: 5
This week: Up three places

I’m not too sure just what these guys did right to lift them up three places and into second position. I guess it was a combination of catching the right flight and finishing the fish tank Roadblock in good time. And then not getting lost. Either way, it was somewhat amusing when Uchenna asked for directions from a woman in a restaurant, before hugging her and realising that he smelt of fish from the Roadblock. It’s not hard to see why these guys won their first Race, and it’s interesting to see them keeping up with their old sparring partners Rob & Amber in the top two positions.




3. Eric & Danielle


Last week: 4
This week: Up one place

I was happy to see these guys move up the ladder a bit from their fourth place position over the past two legs, even though they probably should have done even better. Eric played things very intelligently when he opened his car door to listen to the directions a local was giving Joe & Bill at the beginning of the leg, only to take off ahead of them and earn the kind of spiteful venom that only two cranky old gay grandpas know how to give. Their ‘smart gameplay’ kind of fell down at the fish tank Roadblock, though, when Danielle was too scared to grab the fish and Eric was too panicked at being overtaken to do anything other than scream at her in frustration (although I think he was enjoying himself as much as anything). Telling her to “use your boobs” to hold the flounder in the carry-case was both crass and smart (he had a point – she is perfectly proportioned to do that and stop the fish from jumping out of the crate). Even Rob seemed unimpressed with what Eric was calling out to Danielle in this instance (and he used to work in construction!!). For a moment it looked as though the ill-fated Dustin & Kandice were going to beat them to the Pit Stop (on the girls’ first attempt at clocking in), but thankfully Eric & Danielle stayed ahead of them. I hope they can do even better next week.




4. Dustin & Kandice


Last week: 6
This week: Up two places

These girls made one fairly large mistake this leg – and I think we all know what it was. That mascara. I mean, ughh! No, obviously I’m talking about them missing a cluebox entirely and accidentally stumbling across one of the Detour tasks without knowing what they were doing or what the two tasks were that they had to choose from. As they raced towards the Pit Stop, I wondered if Phil was going to just give them a pre-determined time penalty rather than send them back (with no information on where they’d slipped up) to find their missing clue. It was annoying that they managed to keep their position of fourth place between their two trips to the Pit Stop, but I guess they at least suffered a fair bit of wasted time – so they’ll start the next leg somewhat disadvantaged in that way (but not by very much, as we know most legs have an ‘airport equaliser’ of some sort). It would have been interesting to know what Phil would have said if the clue they’d missed was right back at the beginning of the leg; even before their flight or something. I guess that’s the instance where he’d simply have given them an hour’s time penalty or something. But while their missing clue was local, they were sent back to get it. Fair enough, I suppose.




5. Oswald & Danny


Last week: 2
This week: Down three places

These guys must have done something wrong this week, because they had been able to keep up with front-runners Rob & Amber so far, but this time they fell back into the middle of the pack. When Danny was doing the fish tank Roadblock, he kept slipping and falling down – it was pretty crazy (and I’m sure no good for his manicure). When they arrived at the Pit Stop and saw the dwarf standing there waiting with Phil on the mat, Oswald said, “Oh, Charla’s gonna be in love!” – which was quite amusing because we were all thinking it (and let’s face it: that’s precisely why the producers of the show arranged for him to be there).




6. Teri & Ian


Last week: 7
This week: Up one place

After their frenzied argument with Charla & Mirna at the airport (which got quite heated, really – with name-calling and everything!), Teri & Ian didn’t do much worth talking about until Teri was thrown from the boat during the white water rapid-riding Detour challenge. For a brief moment, it looked as though she was in trouble, but after we returned from the break, it quickly became obvious that this was merely a trick of the editing, and she was in fact pulled straight back into the boat by one of the professionals they were riding with. Her response later? “It was exciting to fall out of the boat!” I wonder how exciting she’d find it to fall off a cliff.




7. Joe & Bill


Last week: 3
This week: Down four places

The ‘Guido’ boys were a little bit narky this week. First they got cranky with Eric & Danielle for listening to the directions they got from a local and then driving away first (so they tried to park them in, in childish retaliation). Then Joe was cruelly pushing down on the fish in his carry-case at the Roadblock to get them to stay still and probably also to fit more in (animal cruelty, anyone?!). Following this, Joe only wrote down half the clue at the bottom of the fish tank (he should have emptied more fish out of the tank to see that there was more to the clue than the phrases he was reading), meaning that they didn’t know what they were looking for (and naturally got lost). If not for running into Charla & Mirna, they might never have found their way to the Detour challenge. These guys played a pretty disorganised and rushed game this leg, and it cost them severely. They were the biggest ‘movers’ on the ladder, dropping a whopping four places from last week. When they took off from the rafting Detour and backed their car into a fence, it showed that they were in full panic mode – and Joe’s tears over the incident were a bit much.




8. Charla & Mirna


Last week: 8
This week: No change

This week’s episode was all about these next two teams. Although Charla & Mirna are definitely stressful and frustrating to watch, they’re also downright hilarious! From the moment of Mirna’s (frankly) rude attempt to push in and ‘steal’ Teri & Ian’s customer service officer at the airport (and the ensuing argument), it seemed that these two girls were out to break friendships and anger every other team. It was a little bit nutty that Mirna was hyperventilating over catching the fish in the tank at the Roadblock (but fair enough, to a point – if you’re afraid of fish but your partner is a dwarf, I guess you’d often find yourself having to complete tasks you’d really prefer not to have to do). When Joe & Bill caught up to them as they searched for the cluebox that led them to the Detour, Mirna warned the guys, “Don’t screw us like the girls did!”, to which Bill replied, “Don’t worry; we won’t” … and I think his reply really spoke volumes (if you’re into reading subtext). The stress was beginning to show when Mirna complained that Joe & Bill had taken off for the rafting challenge before them – that’s exactly the kind of thing Charla & Mirna had done to David & Mary in the previous leg – and I’ve been defending the girls for that! Plus, Joe & Bill weren’t to know which Detour challenge the girls would choose, so expecting them to wait for them to move out first is both unrealistic and kinda naive. They’re in it to win, just as much as you are! I think the real frustration for Mirna here was that she’d given the guys the second half of their fish tank clue, rather than keep it to herself and make them go back to the Roadblock to retrieve the clue themselves (as she should have done – and as I’d have made them do). Once they’d changed into their rafting gear (overtaking Joe & Bill in the meantime, who were probably slowed down when they insisted on checking their hair and make-up as they got changed in the tent), the quick shot of Charla marching towards the lake in her helmet and padding and wetsuit and carrying the long oar reminded me of a dwarf in full battle gear and armour from The Lord Of The Rings! (*Is that wrong?*) Also in full panic mode at the end of their rafting challenge, Charla & Mirna couldn’t find their car keys and Mirna apologised to the local they’d kidnapped (for directions) for being in a bikini. Then they headed in the wrong direction and had to turn around. It wasn’t looking very good for them, but the ultimate payoff came when the producers got the shot they were hoping for: Charla hugging the dwarf who awaited them at the Pit Stop, complete with romantic music playing in the background. Forget for the moment that she’s a married woman (and perhaps the mini-man was married as well), but the assumption that simply because they’re the same height, they’ll fall instantly in love, is akin to asking someone from Canada if they know a Canadian guy you met once – what was his name again? – oh yeah, Dave. Or the producers of Big Brother putting a gay man into the House so that the gay man already in there will have a ‘love interest’ (because The Gays all love each other, don’t they?). If it wasn’t so funny and corny to watch, it would have been offensive. I guess we should credit Charla for not being bothered by what was obviously a form of ‘little person’ discrimination. She seems to be good-natured enough to put up with it … at least while she’s still in the running for the million dollars and doesn’t want to make enemies of the producers. Maybe if she’d been eliminated in this leg, we might have seen a bit more fire in her belly about them matching her up with another dwarf like that. (But I guess that’d only bring on all the “short-temper” jokes.)




9. David & Mary: ELIMINATED!


Last week: 9
This week: No change

About time. I’m glad these guys are gone – and I’m sure Javatari will be, too. What a couple of no-clue whack-jobs! I can’t say often enough just how ridiculously impractical Mary’s ideas of inter-team loyalty between themselves and Charla & Mirna are (so you’ll be pleased to hear that I won’t try to), but it quickly became obvious to both Wifey and myself that neither of us actually minded David. He was alright. In fact, he was a good guy who genuinely tried new things (he mentioned a fear – and lack of experience – with water, but was happy to do the fish tank thing [and once he got the hang of grabbing the fish, he ‘powered through it’, as another team member observed] and he was happy to tackle the rafting challenge), but he was often led astray and possibly even hen-pecked by his louder, more scaredy-cat wife, Mary. Not only was David inexplicably afraid of fish at the Roadblock (although I guess, if you’ve never seen them before, …), but he ended up impressing everyone by carting seven of them to the holding tank in each load. David also saw the sign directing them in the correct direction later, but when he pointed it out to Mary, she almost snapped at him: “Just go!” (meaning for him to drive straight ahead – which took them in a different direction and got them very lost and cost them too much valuable time). Perhaps he only has himself to blame for not standing up to her more often. When faced with choosing between the rock climbing challenge and the white water rafting challenge, David politely asked Mary if she could rock climb, and she yelled at him that she couldn’t. Of course, David also knew that she couldn’t swim (presumably he couldn’t swim either), so I gather he was trying to offer her an alternative. The panic was evident in her demeanour the more she snapped and yelled at David (who never once raised his voice to her and was only ever trying to spare his wife embarrassment, as far as I can tell), so that may be part of why Wifey and I both warmed to him a little. Perhaps the funniest moment of the night (even funnier than Charla hugging her new ‘love interest’ or dressing up as Gimli) was when Mary said in an interview filmed after the leg had ended that she knew falling out of the boat would mean her certain death … and David grinned at the camera almost evilly, as if imagining what bliss this might be.



--------------------


Last week's tips:

First Team: Rob & Amber. Correct!
Last Team: David & Mary. Correct!
Yield? No. Correct!
Fast Forward? No. Correct!
Elimination Week? Yes. Correct!
Biggest Argument: Eric & Danielle. (Wrong) - it was David & Mary.
Smartest Team: Joe & Bill. (Wrong) – I don’t know who it was because everyone made some pretty stupid mistakes on this leg, but it certainly wasn’t Joe & Bill. I guess maybe it was Uchenna & Joyce, although I can’t think of a specific reason; the results speak for themselves. Even Rob & Amber decided to ‘go it alone’ and ended up getting lost at one point. Uchenna & Joyce were the least stupid.



--------------------


Next week's tips:

First Team: Eric & Danielle.
Last Team: Charla & Mirna (or possibly Rob & Amber – but my tip is for Snow White & The Angry Dwarf).
Yield? No.
Fast Forward? Yes.
Elimination Week? Yes.
Biggest Argument: Charla & Mirna.
Smartest Team: Dustin & Kandice.



[-- Aside --]

I’d like to send out a little ‘hello’ to my good buddy Colls Bolls. Are you watching this season of TAR? Are you reading these recaps? Don’t be a stranger!

[-- Aside Ends --]



If you haven’t already done so, check out the review of this same episode that Javatari posted on his blog.


.

The Thinnest Winner

Well, it all came to a head tonight. After months of watching countless episodes on Network Ten, The Biggest Loser season two has finally finished.

And I must say, I was fairly disappointed by the outcome. I was rooting for Marty, the only pleasant person left in the running. Chris was okaaaay, and Pati had spent too much time gossipping and backstabbing the other, more wholesome contestants along the way for me to warm to her at all - abusive background or no.

As much as it was a 'good thing' for the show that an 'Outsider' was able to win - thereby putting to bed all those criticisms about no one possibly being able to lose that much weight in their normal, everyday lives (even though Chris really started to lose the big amounts of weight once he joined the others in The White House), as viewers I think we all felt ripped off when someone who'd come into the show partway through stepped up and won the prize.

We hadn't invested as much in Chris and Kimberlie as we had in all the others, and I certainly would have felt happier if Pati had won, over Chris. In fact, I would have preferred any of the the originals to win - including P'eta and Laura - than either of the Outsiders. Simply because I didn't care about them as much as everyone else. I didn't know them, and I think Chris' unapologetic competitiveness did more to turn viewers against him than anything.

But still - he lost an incredible amount of weight (in fact he looked sickly-thin, IMHO), and did well in the penultimate episode to vote out Munnalita ... because Munnalita actually lost more body weight (in percentage points) than the runner-up, Marty. She could very well have had Chris' head on a platter if she'd still been in the game.


The winner of season two, Chris Garling

I've said it before and I'll say it again: I really detested Munnalita, Courtney and Pati througout this series. However, full props to Munnalita for looking so AMAZING in the finale! What a transformation. And I hope she's right when she says she's happy all the time now - because she truly was a bitter, nasty woman before.

Courtney, too, grew on me massively towards the end. It’s true what he says about him growing up on the show – I think he learnt a lot about being a better person. Not through his friendships with Munnalita and Pati, but more through the leadership of Shannon & Michelle … as well as being inspired by people like Damien.

When Courtney fell on the sword for Munnalita because he recognised that her reason for being in the House was greater than his own, that signified in me a huge change. When he returned for the Super Challenge and stuffed up the first question, then told Damien what he should pick as he passed him on his way back down the hill, his change for the better was cemented for me. This guy went from a b!tchy, selfish slob to the kind of person he can be proud of - who puts others before himself. I’m happy to say that I now like Courtney.

Marty was a champ from the beginning. It doesn’t matter that he introduced himself as being ‘38 years young’, because that’s the kind of thing that was eventually unmasked as being part of his ‘front’ – his attempts to cover his misery with humour. (Hey, at least he didn’t do what Munnalita and Courtney did and cover their misery with being a gossipy b!tch!) Marty and Greg were the only people on the Red Team I ever liked (and possibly Alex, but he wasn’t around long enough to be a threat – wasn’t he cute when he tried to offer Greg his spot in the Super Challenge, though?) … so it was a shame that the Red Team kept winning and eliminating the most commendable contestants amongst them.

It was great to see how much weight everyone had lost at the finale tonight. Despite Chris looking so thin that he looked ill, he has undoubtedly come a long way and will hopefully be able to maintain a healthy weight now that the need for competing is over. Pati was finally able to lose most of that huge arse that was following her around everywhere she went (I personally didn’t think she’d be able to lose it, so I was impressed to see that she had). Munnalita will now be ‘free’ to start IVF treatments to have a baby, and people like Sam and Jules are an inspiration to us all.


The Old Chris vs The New Chris

It was annoying that they didn’t have Shannon & Michelle out on stage from the beginning, so we could all see their reactions to each contestant’s ‘big reveal’, but I guess they’d all seen them backstage before filming began anyway. It was even more annoying that they only cut to Bob & Jillian via satellite in LA after the eliminated contestants had all appeared on stage – I know many of us wanted to see their surprise and how impressed they were, first-hand!

Even though Michael and Greg each did such a fantastic job of losing so much weight (Michael ending up losing the most by percentage and winning the $50,000 second-place prize), the most impressive person on the night (and throughout the entire series, for my money) was Damien.


Damien Wicks lost over 74 kilograms.
Even though he now weighs as much as
some of the other contestants did
when they started on the show, he’s
always going to be the winner for me.

Damien started the show as the biggest contestant on the show, anywhere in the world, ever. The fact that he came third out of the eliminated contestants (after Michael and Munnalita) shows exactly how far he came. But the reason I love him so much had nothing whatsoever to do with his weight loss.

He was a true gentleman from start to finish. Humble, honest, courteous, thoughtful, considerate, sincere, pleasant, funny, inspiring and gentle. He was a champ.

I hope he does well with his band, Dr Elephant, and that he continues to lose weight from here on. It’ll be amazing to check in on his progress during season three, for example, to see just how far he’s come.

If you want to apply to be in season three of the Australian version of The Biggest Loser, be sure to apply online before they close the doors on the application process.

Chris may have been crowned the winner tonight, but he'll always be a loser to me.


.

We All Like Sheep Have Gone Astray

... Spoiler Alert! ... Spoiler Alert! ...


If you haven't yet seen (and you intend to see) episode 2 of The Amazing Race Series 11 – All Stars Edition (TARAS), do not read any further!


--------------------



The last TARAS episode we saw here in Australia was the premiere episode of the season, and ended with John Vito & Jill being the last team to reach the Pit Stop and the first team to be eliminated from the All Stars edition of the show. The Pit Stop was located at the top of Mirador Cotopaxi, a mountain in the Cotopaxi National Park, just outside the city of Quito, Ecuador.

For the record, this was the order in which the teams reached Phil on the mat last episode, and the order in which they started this leg of the race:

1. Rob & Amber
2. Oswald & Danny
3. Teri & Ian
4. Eric & Danielle
5. Joe & Bill
6. Dustin & Kandice
7. Uchenna & Joyce
8. Charla & Mirna
9. David & Mary
10. Kevin & Drew


Note: If you're already ahead of this point in the series, please refrain from giving any spoilers in your comments. Thank you.

As always, I’ll provide my thoughts on each team in this episode, listing them in the order in which they arrived at the Pit Stop (hence the 'Spoiler Alert!').



--------------------


1. Rob & Amber


Last week: 1
This week: No change

Although it’s Kevin & Drew’s mantra, “Worst to First” certainly applied to Rob & Amber this week. Thanks to this episode’s “airport equaliser”, Rob & Amber (together with Oswald & Danny) were overtaken at Lima Airport thanks to a delayed first flight, which caused them to miss their connecting flight (on which all the other teams were already passengers). Thinking about it, this seems to have been a pretty stupid move. If they’d caught the same flight as everyone else, they wouldn’t have risked missing their connection onto that same flight – but as it was, they risked (and paid the price for) reaching a stop-over airport sooner than the others. I’m not clear what they were hoping to achieve by this, although I guess it was all part of Rob’s “master plan” to create unrest within the other teams. His theory (and I agree with his theory even if I think this example of his methods was a silly mistake) is that if the other teams can’t see Rob & Amber and don’t know where they are, they’re likely to focus on their absence so much that they’ll make pivotal mistakes of their own, due to not paying 100% attention on what they’re doing. I think that’s some smart game play, but due to luck of the draw, they happened to shoot themselves in the foot by missing their connecting flight to Chile. Of course, none of that ended up mattering too much, because once all teams had landed in Chile, Rob & Amber were again one of the first teams to reach the Detour, and were in number one position again when they headed off to the Pit Stop. The rapid turnaround of their fortune was surely enough to make even the most level-headed team steam, although cracks started to show in the Rob & Amber armoury when Rob gave Eric grief about joining a new line at the airport ticket office (apparently – so he claimed later, technically after he’d had time to re-evaluate his outburst and potentially make up a story, bear in mind – purely to incite distrust and anarchy amongst the other teams), Amber came to Eric’s defence, which annoyed Rob because he wasn’t keeping a united front. They’re not as tight a unit as last time! If Rob was being honest about his motives here when he was being interviewed to camera afterwards, I can understand his frustration with Amber ‘breaking ranks’ like that – but we’re seeing a softer side to Amber this time than (perhaps we’ve ever been allowed to see) before. Remember, when Eric was lost and confused in the boardroom Roadblock (having come so close to solving the puzzle a long time previously), Amber confirmed for him that there was an H on a pen … which she really didn’t have to tell him (and if I were in her position, I definitely wouldn’t have said anything). All these points combine to make me wonder if this leg was Rob & Amber’s smartest one so far. Methinks not, but Javatari may disagree with me (and I think it’s likely that he will, especially seeing he tipped them for Smartest Team).




2. Oswald & Danny


Last week: 2
This week: No change

I was disappointed with these guys this week, considering they showed so much promise last week. I even backed them as being this week’s “smartest team”, which they clearly weren’t. We barely saw them, apart from when Danny complained about his fingernails after the Detour, and when Oswald commended him on his ability to change the bolts on the wheel of the giant truck, Danny replied that maybe he was a man in a previous life. We also bore witness to Oswald’s tears as they drove through Moon Valley and saw the sandy dunes. (Okaaaaaaaay.)




3. Joe & Bill


Last week: 5
This week: Up two places

For a couple of old fogies who didn’t read their Detour clue properly (and technically should have been penalised for that, IMHO – the clue said they had to take turns shovelling the dirt, so one of them doing the whole task and then the other adding a token amount on top at the end clearly doesn’t adhere to the rules; it’s possible they’ll be given a time penalty at the start of the next leg), Joe & Bill did very well to finish in 3rd place. There’s not much else to say about them because they barely featured in the episode at all; evidence in itself from the very beginning that they weren’t in any danger of being eliminated.




4. Eric & Danielle


Last week: 4
This week: No change

I’m not sure what Eric was trying to do when he said “Humpty Dumbass” while they waited to open their first clue envelope, but I think he was just killing time by talking about crap – we all do it from time to time, and his just happened to be on camera. Interestingly, Danielle’s biggest role in this episode was to look bewildered at this comment, and then to look nervous with Uchenna while Eric and Joyce were inside the boardroom, trying to complete the Roadblock while all the other teams overtook them. What an amazing set of abilities she brings to the team. Eric should have stayed partnered with Jeremy, his original partner from season nine. The ad for next week looks like – although Danielle has a bigger role to play this time – she doesn’t do Eric any favours by continually doing so poorly in the water tank. But more on that next week (and perhaps the ad is misleading, anyway). When Eric finally did have the boardroom puzzle explained to him, he returned to his old tricks of lying to the other teams who were still struggling with the Roadblock (and who had been helping him earlier), telling them, “I have no idea” as he left the room. Cheeky! (Drew eavesdropping over Mary’s shoulder as she gave her answer to the guard was also cheeky, while Mary opting to say the word out loud while Drew was standing behind her – whereas everyone else had simply pointed to the word, as the clue instructed them to do – was just plain stupid). I still quite like Eric and hope he drags Deadweight Danielle (Aha! The true origin of the 'Double D' nickname has been revealed!) kicking and screaming into one of the top few positions in the coming weeks.




5. Uchenna & Joyce


Last week: 7
This week: Up two places

Joyce really stuffed up big time for Uchenna in this one. Her inability to take notice of the words under the pictures in the boardroom Roadblock was just stupid – and she clearly wasn’t paying any attention to the other teams before they left the room, either! What was she doing?! She was so caught up in her own notepaper that she didn’t even think to watch what everyone else was doing in order to solve the puzzle. I think Uchenna would have been a far better contender at that particular Roadblock, but who can really say. Still, they did well in all to move up the ladder a couple of places from their position in the last leg.




6. Dustin & Kandice


Last week: 6
This week: No change

These girls – although snippy here and (apparently) rude in season ten – know how to run a smart race. They overtook the other teams who were lined up waiting to enter Moon Valley, and the guards on duty waved them through instead of making them wait. So clearly it was not essential to wait. So why were they waiting?!! As far as I could see, the guards were only telling the drivers what they already knew from the clues they’d received in their envelopes, but I guess they weren’t to know that. It might explain why the girls took the wrong turn at that T-intersection, though (but it doesn’t explain why everyone else did the same thing), and is certainly the reason they had to stop and ask someone for directions. All that being said, however, they were exceptionally good at the boardroom Roadblock which seemed to stump almost every other team.




7. Teri & Ian


Last week: 3
This week: Down four places

For such an apparently clever team from last week (and a former cop into the bargain), I was surprised that Teri & Ian did so relatively poorly in this episode. They’re the team that dropped through the ranks the most (going from 3rd place last week to 7th place last night), and Ian’s “observation skills” – particularly for a cop – were pretty darn poor during the boardroom Roadblock. They also proved themselves to be quite unobservant when they finished the Detour and were looking for the marked cars … they got in their taxi and drove in the opposite direction to where they were supposed to go (and to where at least one team was running at the time), wasting a lot of time and falling a few places back in the order of arrival at the Pit Stop.




8. Charla & Mirna


Last week: 8
This week: No change

Whoa, what a blow-out Mirna had at the taxi driver last night! Thrusting her bag into his arms and asking – nay, pleading – with him to lead them to their destination was quite full-on (and after they said last week how well they get along with the locals on the Race, and how much they love that aspect of it!). One of the funniest moments (and definitely when they earned their title as Biggest Argument) was when the two of them started yelling at each other during the Detour: “I NEED A STEPSTOOL!” One of the many teams who turned the wrong way at the T-intersection, these girls were lucky to finish in 8th place, considering they were right at the back of the pack for a fair section of the time during the final part of the leg.




9. David & Mary


Last week: 9
This week: No change

This couple is pretty dumb. Well, maybe that’s a bit harsh, but they certainly don’t pick up on things very easily – and they have some strange ways of making decisions. Not learning from their “buy tickets now, ask airline staff later” approach to booking the wrong flight in last week’s episode, last night Mary instructed David to turn the wrong way at the T-intersection because that direction had “more words” on the street sign. Wait a minute, that’s how you’re determining which way to go?!? You’re a nutbag, woman! As I’ve already pointed out, Mary was also an absolute dill to ‘speak’ the answer to the Roadblock out loud – whether she was aware that anyone was behind her or not (and she clearly had no idea Kevin was hovering over her shoulder just out of sight). The instructions had stated that she should show her answer to the guard (as everybody else did), because clearly if you say it out loud, the other teams will hear it and benefit from your hard work. It was also surprising that Mary should be surprised about other teams playing to win. You can’t make friends on the Race! Surely she knows that by now! Getting upset because your ‘best buddies’ (about whom you’d come into the Race feeling distrustful towards because you’ve seen what they did when they were on the Race the first time) apparently played selfishly (well, derr!) is just plain ridiculous. What were you expecting?! Maybe David & Mary are popular because they’re a road crash waiting to happen (figuratively, not literally – I hope!), or perhaps people just find great humour in their wacky decisions and mistakes. Either way, I think there are a lot more teams on this Race who are smarter and more deserving of being there, so I hope David & Mary are the next ones to go. It was lovely of them to tow Charla & Mirna out of the mud at the start of the leg, but they shouldn’t have thought that meant they’d made solid friends who wouldn’t try to overtake them on their way to the Pit Stop (this was Charla & Mirna’s whole “crime”, incidentally – all they did that earned them the venom of Mary’s anger was to overtake them on the road). Seems to me like someone’s being a little too sensitive!




10. Kevin & Drew: ELIMINATED!


Last week: 10
This week: No change

This was no surprise. From the very first shot of the episode (which was footage of Drew having oxygen administered to him by a medic at the Pit Stop and hearing that he was treated four times during the night for altitude sickness), it was clear that these two were destined to come in last and get eliminated. The fact that Drew slipped on one of his very first steps was also a pretty bad sign of things to come. It was quite amusing that Kevin was able to tow their car out of the mud on his own, and even more hilarious (plus a little scary) that Drew then drove off, dragging Kevin with him on the tow rope. This episode held more and more evidence that Drew appears quite ill – forgetting that his buddy was tied to the car, his constant aches and pains (the fall during the previous leg didn’t really look very bad, after all), their inability to realise they were now driving in a 50km area rather than the 40km area they’d left (a lack of observation that ultimately cost them their position in the Race, due to everyone else overtaking them), and the list goes on. So many teams turned the wrong way at that T-intersection, particularly the five or six teams who decided to follow each other in the wrong direction. It was a bit crazy that no one used a map to determine which way they were supposed to go. Kevin & Drew got a bit snappy with each other, and they seemed a far cry from the wise-cracking, happy-go-lucky guys we first saw five years ago in season one. Friends of mine who never saw season one have heard me promising that Kevin & Drew are funny guys and to give them a chance (after last week’s episode), only to have them prove me wrong – in a BIG way – with their atrocious effort last night. Oh well, at least they can go and get medical help now. The less said about Drew’s little hissy-fit when he was told they’d been eliminated at the Pit Stop, the better for everyone.



--------------------


Last week's tips:

First Team: Rob & Amber. Correct!
Last Team: Kevin & Drew. Correct!
Yield? No. Correct!
Fast Forward? No. Correct!
Elimination Week? Yes. Correct!
Biggest Argument: Kevin & Drew. (Wrong) - This was clearly Charla & Mirna.
Smartest Team: Oswald & Danny. (Wrong) - Personally, I reckon it was Dustin & Kandice.


--------------------


Next week's tips:

First Team: Rob & Amber.
Last Team: David & Mary.
Yield? No.
Fast Forward? No.
Elimination Week? Yes.
Biggest Argument: Eric & Danielle.
Smartest Team: Joe & Bill.



If you haven’t already done so, check out Javatari's review of this same episode on his blog (once he's posted it).


.

Bye-Bye, Big Blogger

[Theme music is heard: "Da-da, da-da, da-da, da-da, DUM!"]

Due to a lack of interest, time, effort and people, Big Blogger 2 has been cancelled. Sorry to those (few) of you who were excited about it. Everyone else can breathe a sigh of relief.

Including Wifey.

[Theme music is heard: "Da-da, da-da, da-da, da-da, DUM!"]


.

Brush With TV Fame # 3

Guess who I saw at one of Melbourne's (six or seven) major shopping centres three weekends ago?




Oops, sorry. Wrong photo. My mistake.




That's right, Catherine "Cat" White from the first season of Australia's Biggest Loser.

Cruel jokes aside, she was looking great. She and her boyfriend/husband were shopping in Kmart. I can't tell you what they bought because I'm not THAT much of a stalker.* All I know is they were in the shopping centre for about five hours in total, because we were there just as long and they happened to pass us in the car park as we were leaving. So, actually, I had two brushes with TV fame in the one day - both with Cat from TBL.

Cat's upper body was looking much thinner than the last time we saw her on TV (even moreso than how she looked in the guest spot she had in the opening week of the current season), but her hips were unfortunately still bigger than Texas.

It must be so hard to be unable to shake a certain part of your body like that. Truthfully, I wish her well. She certainly looked happy, and deserves to be.

They drive a blue Commodore. I can't tell you the licence plate number because I'm not THAT much of a stalker.**




* Three CDs.

** No, really. I'm not saying.


.

Back In The Saddle

... Spoiler Alert! ... Spoiler Alert! ...


If you haven't yet seen (and you intend to see) episode 1 of The Amazing Race Series 11 – All Stars Edition (TARAS), do not read any further!


--------------------



The last season of TAR that was screened here in Australia was the eighth season of this exceptional show. However, season eight was anything but impressive for most viewers, because it stayed largely within the United States and featured four family members in each team – which basically meant for a lot more b!tching and a lot less adventure.

True to form, Channel Seven has again decided to air the seasons out of order. Season 10, which has already aired in the US, will be screened here later in the year, while season 11, which will finish screening in the US next month, started airing here last night.

Ordinarily, this wouldn’t matter too much, expect that THIS time, the Race is made up of teams who’ve been featured on the show in previous seasons … INCLUDING TWO TEAMS FROM SEASON 10! That makes it HIGHLY irritating to fans of the show. After watching last night’s episode, we now know two teams from the season which will air here later in the year who DO NOT WIN. We’re not MEANT to know that information before the series airs, you morons! Not only that, but the two teams in question clearly have some kind of heated past, which American viewers understand BUT WE DON’T. We have no context for their history of distrust and don’t understand what’s going on. Further to that, we actually know exactly how far these two teams made it through season 10, so there’ll be NO anxiety or excitement on our behalf when we watch the episodes that saw them eliminated. What a ridiculous frickin’ decision.

Channel Seven is stupid.

Anyway, for anyone reading this who hasn't read my previous TAR 9 synopses (and as a refresher course for those who have), here's how this works:

I'll be recapping/reviewing the TARAS episodes on Fridays (or possibly sometime over the weekend) following each Thursday night screening. Your feedback is welcome (of course), and friendly debate if you disagree with anything I've said (particularly if you can't stand my favourite team or vice versa) is also encouraged.

At the end of each episode, I'll make certain predictions on what will happen in the following episode, and at the end of the season I'll give the totals of accurate versus inaccurate predictions. This is just for fun; nothing rests on it at all (except perhaps for my reputation / your devotion to my words of wisdom / etc).

I'll list each team in the order they finished the leg (or the episode, if it's a "To Be Continued" two-parter), so be warned: Don't read my post about the show if you've taped the episode and are yet to watch it. (I know that's pretty obvious, but I want to be sure everyone understands that basic concept.)

Most importantly: If you're already ahead of the episode I'm reviewing where you live, please refrain from giving any spoilers to the rest of us in the comments. Thank you.

Also …

This season we’re trying something new and exciting. You get TWO reviews for the price of ONE! (The price, of course, being free.) My good friend Javatari asked me the other day if I’d mind him co-reviewing the TARAS episodes. Naturally I told him where he could stick his idea, and then he reminded me of those incriminating photos he has of me in my younger days. And so we reached an amicable agreement. We’re both going to be reviewing the TARAS episodes, and then linking to each other’s review. You’re all encouraged to read and comment on both reviews if you so desire, perhaps agreeing with one of us more than the other (we don’t yet know if we’ll be taking polar-opposite views on anything). This is a new experiment and we ask for your patience and understanding if there are any teething problems over the next few weeks. It should be fine, though.

Let's get to it, shall we?


"GO!"


--------------------


1. Rob & Amber


Well, they’re back – and they’re back with a vengeance! These guys are definitely the team to watch, and judging from the first episode (and the preview for the second), the other teams are very focused on them as well. Probably to their detriment, but what are ya gonna do? When these guys raced in season 7, I was pretty adamantly against them winning. Why? Because they’d already won Survivor (a couple of times over) and pretty much acted like jerks. This time, however, they’re in the same boat as everyone else. This time, EVERYONE is a former reality TV star, so I have no such prejudice against Rob & Amber specifically. Unless, of course, they pretty much act like jerks again. But we’ll have to wait and see. It was no surprise that Rob & Amber sped away in the lead so quickly, because they really are a force to be reckoned with. When Rob ‘let’ Oswald & Danny into their shuttle at the airport in Miami, he made the point that it was the first nice thing he’d done and he wanted it to be noted. After all, Rob & Amber had followed Oswald & Danny to the airport, so (in Rob’s mind, at least), him letting them on their shuttle made them even. Has Rob learnt a nasty lesson about Karma since he came second to Uchenna & Joyce in season 7, perhaps? The problem with being good (and everyone reinforcing that you’re good) is that eventually – if not immediately – you come to believe it yourself. And therefore Rob & Amber bring a massive ego with them. They may have to be careful – the mightier they are, after all, the harder they fall. Or perhaps Rob’s self-confidence will be well-founded this time. Will they win? I certainly look forward to finding out. If nothing else, Rob is great fun to watch … and Amber’s there, too. (What does she do, exactly?)




2. Oswald & Danny


These gay guys from season 2 (one of three seasons I haven’t seen) seem to be quite amusing as well. One of the first things they said to Rob (when he granted them access to his airport shuttle) was, “Don’t you guys have your own cable channel?”, a highly amusing reference to the amount of time Rob & Amber spend on reality TV shows (in fact, their ‘occupations’ on the TARAS website are listed as ‘Reality TV Stars’). Getting the better of the two flights in this leg certainly made the difference between those who reached the Pit Stop with plenty of time to spare, and those who struggled to avoid elimination. Oswald & Danny were amongst the leading teams for most of the way, seemingly having a great time and cheering themselves on. They seem like fun.




3. Teri & Ian


I’m pretty impressed with Teri & Ian. For ‘the old couple’, they do very well in the Race and I was even more surprised to find out that they came second place in season 3 (another of the seasons I haven’t seen). That’s pretty darn good, considering the older couples generally only get about halfway through the Race most of the time. These guys could be one to watch – just like Team Guido (Joe & Bill) said, “people underestimate them, because he’s crotchety and old-looking”. Well, that may be so, but I wouldn’t talk about wrinkled old faces, if I were you.




4. Eric & Danielle


Eric's another one (like Rob) who I have previously not liked but find myself looking at with fresh eyes this time. I always found Eric witty and amusing (often for all the wrong kinds of jokes and comments), so it’s no surprise to me that he still makes me chuckle. But it’s his strength and level of determination that I’d forgotten. He’s really quite formidable and is able of making up quite a bit of lost ground (as he did when they were in the car and overtook two teams from an earlier departure time). Much like Amber, I don’t have much of an opinion of Danielle. I think Eric would have been better suited to run the Race with his best mate Jeremy again (because they were pretty incredible as far as Racers go), whereas Danielle doesn’t seem to offer much except eye-candy. I’m happy to stand corrected on this if/when she does something remarkable on the Race, but at this point, the more vocal and controversial/amusing types like Eric and Rob leave the quieter, uninteresting types like Danielle and Amber to fade into the background. I’m also looking forward to seeing how far Eric & Danielle can go, and if they’ll get the better of Rob & Amber at any point. They seem pretty evenly matched – right down to the ego and wit.




5. Joe & Bill


‘Team Guido’, as they were called when they first raced, were the first ‘villains’ the show ever saw. As such, they developed themselves somewhat of a reputation for dishonesty and nastiness. Truth be told, however, they weren’t really all that spiteful at all. They were just the first Racers audiences saw who played the game a little dirty (because they raced in season 1). Although glad that they didn’t win in season 1, I quite enjoy watching them compete, so hopefully they’ll give the other teams a run for their money … despite being, as they themselves said, a pair of gay grandpas. (It’s the ‘grandpas’ bit I’m specifically referring to, here – not the ‘gay’ part.)




6. Dustin & Kandice


These ‘beauty pageant queens’ from season 10 are almost twins (sort of), and probably have a lot to prove that they aren’t just there for their looks. Coming in at halfway through the pack in this leg (and knowing they got to fourth place in season 10) shows that they can’t be ALL looks and no brains. Maybe we’ll get to see more of them as the Race progresses. (Eh? Eh? Know what I mean?, etc.)




7. Uchenna & Joyce


These archrivals of Rob & Amber (having won season 7 and being the only winners to appear in this Race) have apparently struggled to start a family – which is what they wanted to use their winnings on last time. If competing in reality TV shows is their only way of maintaining their IVF treatments, then maybe it’s not for them. But hey, whatever works. Maybe they’ll get lucky, so to speak, and win the Race twice. Wouldn’t that be a coup! But to be honest, they were pretty lucky winners in season 7, because they only got through to the Finish Line by the skin of their teeth, having come in last but been saved from elimination on at least one occasion. I quite like them (and I prefer Joyce’s hair this way than the dreadlocked do she had to shave off as part of a Roadblock challenge last time), so hopefully they’ll do better in future legs than they did in this largely problem-wrought attempt. If not for the four teams behind them who all went to the south entrance instead of the north entrance, they might well have been eliminated last night.




8. Charla & Mirna


I know it’s incredibly inappropriate, but whenever I see Charla (the ‘little person’) run, I can’t help but laugh. It’s wrong – I realise that – but it’s also hilarious to watch. The fact that she was able to beat Drew to the cars from the Starting Line was pretty amazing, and then when Mirna told her they may have to beat another team in a foot race, Charla’s “Yeah, right” spoke volumes. However, it should be noted that David & Mary finished the Roadblock challenge before the girls, yet were overtaken by Charla & Mirna as they were running up the hill to the Pit Stop. We weren’t shown how or why the girls got the jump on the Kentucky Hillbillies, but it’s definitely worth noting – perhaps Charla’s been practicing her running? Although amusing to watch, these girls can quickly grow tiresome, so if you haven’t seen them before, be warned that their feisty attitudes can easily translate on screen to annoying high-pitched arguing if they clash with other teams. That being said, when they raced in season 5 they were up against a group of argumentative tools, so perhaps they’ll come across better this time. Mirna likes to insist that she’s super intelligent (and it’s true that both girls know numerous languages), so we’ll see if they’re able to use their brains to their advantage this season. Driving to the south entrance to Hacienda Yanahurco wasn’t a good start to their journey.




9. David & Mary


This is the other team from season 10 that we don’t know. It’s apparent that they have some sort of animosity towards Dustin & Kandice, but we won’t know why until sometime around October. What we do know is that these guys are odd. Flippin’ odd. They booked the worst flight before asking about arrival times, they made it pretty obvious they were lying to Dustin & Kandice about it being a better flight (especially when they then sent Teri & Ian back to the other airline), they stupidly made enemies out of Kevin & Drew (quite unnecessarily) by stealing the key from Drew as he was getting into his car (I mean, why do that? What purpose did it serve? How frickin’ dumb was that!), and they entered via the south gate. They’re gonna have to lift their game if they want to go further in this Race.




10. Kevin & Drew


Sentimental favourites Kevin & Drew (the wisecracking Frat Brothers from the first season – who made a special guest appearance in the first episode of the Family Edition as hot dog sellers … and only one person, the youngest Paolo boy, recognised them) are generally full of funny jokes and lighthearted banter. But the years don’t appear to have been kind to them. Drew in particular looked quite unwell – and his fall didn’t help matters. (Wasn’t Kevin the epitome of kindness and care?! “Get up! Get up! Get up!”) I hope these guys do better than they did here (south entrance again), because they showed their carefree attitude in relation to continuing to drive on their flat tyre – completely destroying the wheel in the process. Hilarious! I wonder whether they’ll get to start the next leg with a replacement vehicle (or changed tyre, if the wheel still works after the beating it took), or if they’ll be in trouble there.




11. John Vito & Jill: ELIMINATED!


I don’t know who these people are, but they raced in season 3 and his name sounds pretty pretentious to me. “John Vito”?? Gimme a break. Anyway, they also entered Hacienda Yanahurco by the south entrance, and in this case it cost them their spot in the Race. I haven’t got much to say about them, but personally I’m glad it was this couple who got eliminated at the expense of those I know and love from other seasons.



--------------------


Next week's tips:

First Team: Rob & Amber.
Last Team: Kevin & Drew.
Yield? No.
Fast Forward? No.
Elimination Week? Yes.
Biggest Argument: Kevin & Drew.
Smartest Team: Oswald & Danny.



If you haven’t already done so, check out Javatari's review of this same episode on his blog.


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Win-Win Situation

Last night we, as viewers, were faced with a win-win situation:




or




I'd have been happy either way. I was dying to get rid of either or both of them, so knowing that one of them would have to go pleased me no end.

Of course, I also think Pati, Chris and Kimberlie are all annoying and unworthy of winning, so I'm not gonna be happy about the end result regardless.

When Damien was sent home for such a ridiculous non-gameplay reason of picking three eggs over a pork sausage the other night, I was crestfallen. He was the only remaining reason I was watching the show - and before you scoff, I've only continued watching the show without him because I knew from TV Week that the eliminated contestants would all be returning to the house this week to compete for the chance to get back in the game.

I hope Damien gets it. Or Mel. Or Marty. Or Greg. Or even Gerard. I wouldn't be too miffed if Michael, Alex, Kelly or Laura got it, either. I just hope Courtney doesn't get straight back in. (I'm not sure why P'eta isn't there, but hopefully we'll be told why by Ajay during tonight's episode. Maybe she turned it down because she just got a new job, or maybe - like Tracey last year - she just wasn't up to facing it all again so soon. I understand that Sarah, Jules and Sam can't be there because the returnees were specifically referred to as "the eliminated contestants", but that statement includes P'eta, even if she was eliminated by only one other contestant in a surprise twist. Maybe she was busy buying a vowel to replace the apostrophe in her name or something.)

I will admit, though, that Courtney was getting less and less offensive in recent weeks, and I agree that it all comes down to him growing up so much. The last few days I've laughed out loud at his snappy responses to poor old Chris, as well as the facial expressions he's given others behind Chris' back. And his final moment of glory - falling on the sword for his friend Munnalita (who he recognised had so much more to achieve in the house, whereas he was happy with his journey) was very much an Easter-themed tale of redemption and self-sacrifice for another. I was impressed.

But that doesn't mean I want him back in the game.

Unfortunately, I'm sure that whatever tonight's episode holds in store for the eliminated contestants, Damien's probably not going to come out the winner. Despite being the nicest and most honorable/deserving person there, he's never been one to win at a challenge or (at this point in the game) shock us with a massive weight loss. So whether it's a challenge or a weigh-in that will determine who returns to the game, I'm sure someone other than Damien "The Man" Wicks will be victorious.

I'm just glad that Damo has learnt so much and come so far that he has gone from a 216.3kg gargantuon like this:




... to a meek and sleek confident and genuine rock'n'roll band frontman like this:





If you don't watch the show and can't see any difference between the two photos, that's your loss. Damien has reduced his size by more than 45kg, and is well on the way to reaching his goal weight.

But more than that, he's a dead-set legend.


.

Shootin', no, Racin' Stars

Guess what's on at 9:30pm, AEST, following Lost on Channel Seven from this Thursday night?

The eleventh season of The Amazing Race (TAR)! Yes, Channel Seven (in its wisdom) has decided to air season eleven before season ten (just like they did last year when they aired season nine before season eight), but unlike last year, the decision this time around means season ten (when we see it later in 2007) will have been 'spoilt' for us.

Because you see, season eleven is an ALL-STARS version of the Race! They're not using actual celebrities, but they've called back certain teams from the previous seasons of the Race (including two teams from the as-yet-unaired-in-Australia tenth season - and telling us where they finished, therefore removing all elements of suspense and surprise when we eventually see the missing season). Hopefully they won't ALSO spoil for us the names of the people who won the tenth season, but that's just as likely.

Thank you, Channel Seven. You really know how to treat your viewers like crap.

Click the pic for a larger version

Anyway, if you're a fan of the Race, make sure you're watching The Amazing Race All-Stars (TARAS) this Thursday night!

And because you can always rely on BEVIS, I'll be posting a weekly episode recap on this blog, so keep checking back to read my thoughts - and add your own in the comments! The complete series of TARAS posts will be listed in the sidebar menu on the right.

As usual, if you're in a part of the world that is ahead of us Aussies with seasons ten and eleven of TAR, please don't give anything away in the comments. Thank you.


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