How Unfortunate!

I just found this pic on my camera - it's from Channel Seven's Sunrise program from a couple of months ago. I was getting ready for work one fine morning (at approximately 7:19am, would be my guess), when a story about supermarkets being caught selling mutton as beef came up and the woman they interviewed was shown with the following unflattering caption:


It was the nicest compliment she'd receive all week.

Obviously the caption related to the story, but the sight of the caption underneath the face of this poor lady make me balk, and I simply had to snap a quick photo of it to share with you all.

Then I promptly forgot all about it until I was flicking through the photos on my camera this afternoon.

And now you've been inappropriately amused.

It's all part of the service.


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All Hayl The BB Nickhead

First things first - last Monday, Big Brother surprised the House by announcing that one half of the couple had to go. And Andrew & Hayley had to decided which of them it would be.

NOW.

Hayley chose to sign her own dead warrant (as it were - no offense, Emma ... oh, that's right, you haven't heard yet, have you), which meant that Andrew would be the one hanging around.

I think it would have been great if BB had given them the choice of who'd stay and who'd go, and then reverse whatever decision they made (ie. tell Andrew that he was evicted, rather than Hayley). but apparently I think up twists that are too good for this show, so I'd better just keep my ideas to myself.

Anyway, Tuesday night Hayley was evicted, Aleisha celebrated her 21st birthday, and two new Housemates were sent in. It was a busy hour of BB TV.

I purposely held on to Hayley's eviction until today, so I could show both evictees together (seeing they didn't share the eviction stage until last night anyway).

It's probably not the popular opinion, but personally I thought Hayley and Andrew got a raw deal at the hands of Demet, Bodie, Emma and so on. It appears that Andrew and Emma are getting along okay now, but who knows if it'll last. Hayley got into a big fight with Bodie, which brought Andrew in on it too, and that unrest stuck around for the duration of Bodie's time in the House (and his week of interviews in the real world thereafter).

I'm not sure that Andrew & Hayley deserved what they got. Sure, they may have seemed boring after the first week when their secret was revealed, but that's partly because BB talked up their 'secret' so much that anything that followed the revelation was going to feel like an anti-climax. No one else was very exciting, either (except perhaps for Tornado TJ and Bonehead Bodie, but look where being 'exciting' got them!).


"Don't Call Me Fake, Dude."

I can understand why the show's producers would feel that the couple would have a kind of monopoly on the House, but I don't really agree that evicting one of them outside the normal eviction procedure is fair. And here's why:


1. The voting audience is meant to choose their favourite Housemate to win. Robbing them of the chance to evict Hayley (or save her) is undercutting this supposed public decision (regardless of whether you think she would have won the show or not).

2. The producers knew what might happen, monopoly-wise, when they decided to put both of them in the House in the first place. Pulling the rug out from under them and saying one had to go regardless of nominations and voting results is unfair by definition.

3. I don't believe they had any kind of monopoly, anyway. Anyone who won Friday Night Games was able to put either of them up for nomination if they wanted to, and the idea that they'd save themselves from being put up for eviction by winning the Games is stupid - they can only save ONE person, so if they were both in the top three on Nomination night, Andrew (for example) would have to choose EITHER himself OR Hayley to save. Then it'd be up to the public to vote out who they most wanted gone from the three who were nominated. Their 'couplehood' could have been broken by the Housemates themselves, if they'd realised this and voted for both of them. Or maybe there was no need to because only Bodie and Demet appear to have had a problem with them. That probably says something in itself about whether or not they 'deserved' to be evicted.


There are also rumours going around about Hayley having planned all along to come out of the House by a certain week (if she hadn't already been evicted) so she could attend her sister's wedding in Spain (or something like that). I'm not sure if that's true, but if it is ... was the whole 'discussion' on which of them should fall on their sword just a well-executed act? And does that mean Andrew's tears on Monday night were crocodile tears? If so, DODGY! But maybe not, so I won't judge.

Last night we finally saw the end of whingey know-it-all, Nick - the Starburst Golden Key Winner who was a real let-down, as far as drama was concerned. He promised Gretel and the audience on the stage (and then the Housemates, once he was in the House) that he would 'definitely' speak his mind and cause some trouble. How often have we heard these claims before?! But alas, he did practically nothing to ruffle any feathers, and instead seemed to care more about protecting his own neck rather than make good on his promise.

BORING!

Even once he was nominated, he was heard telling some Housemates that if he survived this week's eviction, he'd tell Emma what he thought of her and really let the 'real him' come out.

WHY WAIT??!

I couldn't understand why he didn't do this the moment he realised he was being shy and reserved. Maybe the voting public wouldn't have voted you out if you'd been a bit more interesting, chum! (Although, look at TJ and Bodie ...)


From Golden Key Winner to Golden Key Whinger.

Without trying to be mean (it just comes naturally, yuk yuk), look at that photo of him. Can't you see a certain element of rat or meerkat to his facial features? He certainly has a kind of rodent quality, for mine. (Okay, so that was probably being just plain uncalled-for mean.)

It's clear that the fool shouldn't have tried to go from "a pack-a-day man" to "a quit cold-turkey turkey" without preparation. I know he had nicotine patches in there with him (I spotted them on his arm on a few occasions), but that wasn't enough to stave off the accusations of whinging. He should have realised he'd be taken to task for his constant complaining and done something about it, so he gets no sympathy from me.

However, his farewell message (although much milder than they all made it out to be) was still the most controversial in quite a while - certainly the best of this season so far.

Let's hope others will shake the House up a bit by leaving farewell messages that have a bit of 'kick'.


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Would You Like Polish Sauce With That?

... Spoiler Alert! ... Spoiler Alert! ...


If you haven't yet seen (and you intend to see) episode 8 of The Amazing Race Series 11 – All Stars Edition (TARAS), do not read any further!


--------------------


The last TARAS episode we saw here in Australia ended with Joe & Bill being the last team to reach the Pit Stop but the second team to be safe from elimination on the All Stars edition of the show. The Pit Stop was located inside the grounds of Lazienki Palace in Lazienki Park, Warsaw, Poland.

At the Intersection (which was new to Australian viewers but not to the Racers – more on that later), teams had to form pairs (making four individual Racers) to complete tasks and make decisions together until further notice, which included completing the Fast Forward.

The Fast Forward was to have each team climb a set of stairs up two different towers (the tower of St. Mary's Basilica and the tower of Town Hall) and count how many stairs there were. They then had to add up the result and tell it to a guard, who would give them a clue directing them to the Pit Stop.

The Detour was ‘Eat It Up’ or ‘Roll It Out’. In ‘Eat It Up’, the intersected teams would make their way one and a half miles to an old market. Once there, each team member had to use traditional methods to make one three-inch length of Polish Kielbasa sausage. After finishing, the teams would be served eight feet of cooked Kielbasa. Once each person ate two feet of sausage, the teams would receive their next clue. In ‘Roll It Out’, the intersected teams would make their way one and a half miles to the J. Mazurek bakery and properly roll out twenty bagels. When finished, they would make their way on foot one quarter of a mile to a nearby restaurant with a delivery of fresh bagels for the headwaiter.

In the Roadblock, one team member had to don a full suit of authentic medieval armour and lead a horse half a mile through the forest to the castle gates. Once at the castle, they had to deliver the horse to the stable boy, enter the courtyard, and search for the Pit Stop.

For the record, this was the order in which the teams reached Phil on the mat last episode, and the order in which they started this leg of the Race:

1. Dustin & Kandice
2. Oswald & Danny
3. Uchenna & Joyce
4. Charla & Mirna
5. Eric & Danielle
6. Joe & Bill


Note: If you're already ahead of this point in the series, please refrain from giving any spoilers in your comments. Thank you.

As always, I’ll provide my thoughts on each team in this episode, listing them in the order in which they arrived at the Pit Stop (hence the 'Spoiler Alert!').



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Equal 1st. Oswald & Danny


Last week: 2
This week: Up one place

All teams were visibly moved by visiting the Auschwitz concentration camp, but some seemed more genuinely affected than others. Those who came across as most sincere in their responses were Oswald & Danny, Uchenna & Joyce and Joe & Bill. I thought that the producers showed a surprising amount of tact in removing all fast-paced music and elements of ‘rushing’ from the Auschwitz segments of the show, and I thought the whole thing was handled well and respectfully. It wasn’t long before we were introduced to the idea of the Intersection. This is a new concept in the Race for Australian viewers, but it was clear from the fact that Phil didn’t introduce it as a ‘new’ thing (as he does when these things are introduced for the first time) – and from Dustin & Kandice’s comments later – that Intersections were first seen in Season Ten, which Channel Seven (in all its wisdom) HAS NOT YET SCREENED IN AUSTRALIA! Mark my words – when we eventually see Season Ten (rumoured to be later this year), Phil will introduce the Intersection as “a new thing on The Amazing Race”. But I digress. The point is, Oswald & Danny hooked up with Uchenna & Joyce because they were the first two teams to reach the Intersection marker, forcing Dustin & Kandice to wait for the other three teams who were in a bus four hours behind them. There was a Fast Forward in this episode (I tipped a Yield instead, which sucks), so because the two ‘intersected’ teams had a four-hour lead on all the others, it made obvious sense that the Fast Forward would be attempted by the leading foursome. In fact, this was a pretty stupid place to put a Fast Forward. The producers knew the teams would be separated in two groups of three on those buses, and they also knew the lead pair of teams would be four hours ahead of the others while team number three waited at the Intersection marker for the second bus to arrive. So what a pointless spot to put the Fast Forward! Part of the drama of a Fast Forward is the idea that another team may be racing for it just ahead of you, but considering there was no suspense on this facet, each team knew exactly what was going on. What a waste! I don’t think someone thought that through properly at all. After completing the Fast Forward, Oswald & Danny and Uchenna & Joyce arrived at the Pit Stop as a still-intersected team, and Oswald & Danny showed their true colours when they immediately gave Uchenna & Joyce the prize for first place (a lovely tropical holiday), the moment Phil told the four of them that he only had one prize to award. I wonder if – again – someone didn’t think this through very well and the Fast Forward was placed in the wrong leg, because these teams were never separated – although the others behind them eventually were – and this means that the next leg should technically begin with both of these lead teams starting at the same time. What’s the purpose of this? None that I can see; I’d say it was a bit of an oversight. But aren’t Oswald & Danny lovely?




Equal 1st. Uchenna & Joyce


Last week: 3
This week: Up two places

Following on from the above tirade, it’s worth noting that the Fast Forward these two teams undertook was flippin’ simple. Count the stairs of two towers and tell the guard the total number. Even if they’d stuffed it up the first time, they could simply try again. I mean, they HAD over four hours to get it right! I’d just have said a bunch of different numbers around the one I originally tried, if my first answer was incorrect. And I’d have continued guessing until I got it right (unless the rules stated that I had to do the whole challenge again before I could guess another total number). It was interesting to note that Uchenna & Joyce, although flattered and thankful to Oswald & Danny for their generosity, did not say anything like, “Oh, no – we couldn’t accept that! You have it!” Funny how they were happy to take the holiday without protest! (Actually, so would I.)




3. Dustin & Kandice


Last week: 1
This week: Down two places

These girls sure aren’t my favourite team, but you’ve gotta feel sorry for them starting out in the lead and then being stranded by that dam Intersection marker until the other teams showed up. And it was amusing how the other teams showed up in reverse order of their preferred Intersected partners! Charla & Mirna were their LEAST preferred partners, but they were there first, and after briefly considering hiding out and waiting to see who turned up next, they realised it might be another long wait, so they bit the bullet and joined up with Mirna and her pet dwarf. For some bizarre reason the four girls said grace before they began eating their two feet of sausages each. The beauty queens were laughing at the way Charla & Mirna ‘communicate’ with each other (which means their arguing), and after this task was completed, they were separated from their Intersected groups and took off in first place (of the remaining four teams, I mean). As much as it pains me to admit it, these girls are often speedy and effective, only making mistakes occasionally, which see them lose their place. Coming in third on this leg really showed how they kept the other three teams at bay, considering they had no hope in hell of catching up to the teams ahead of them.




4. Charla & Mirna


Last week: 4
This week: No change

There was much to laugh at with these girls in this episode. From the weird faces Charla made as she tried to eat more sausage that her stomach could handle, to the comical attempts to make her throw it back up again, to the arguments she had with Mirna at the table and in the car, to Mirna’s atrocious driving ability (“How do I take off the handbrake?!”), to – of course – the ABSOLUTELY HYSTERICAL shots of Charla dressed up as Gimli (even moreso than when I said it a few episodes ago) and falling flat on her face … twice! What brilliant footage that was! Wifey and I kept rewinding it and watching it over and over again. We were nearly crying with laughter. It was better than Funniest Home Videos (but then again, most things are). Anyway, I’m getting ahead of myself. It wasn’t until the four girls arrived at the sausage-making task (after specifically deciding not to go with the bagel-making task) that Charla thought to mention that she doesn’t even like sausages. What, you couldn’t think to mention that earlier??! Then, when the beauty queens asked Charla why she was eating so slow and she said “I don’t know, maybe there’s something wrong with me”, did anyone think that maybe it’s because she has the stomach of a dwarf??! Goodness me! The sounds of Charla trying to make herself sick were truly disgusting (as was the sight of just a little bit of vomit hanging from her lip), and when Mirna enlisted the help of two taxi drivers (yes, she actually said “both of them” and then asked why they were both driving her there), she invoked the wrath of Taxi (the Egyptian god of paid transportation), which in turn caused them headaches when she started yelling at the drivers to take her to her destination for less money than they were asking for. What followed was a shameful display of tears, emotional blackmail, tantrums and bullying. I loved it when the taxi driver said, “Goodbye” and shut the car door on her for not being willing to pay him $100. In the end, one of the drivers settled on $50 and off they went. Strange that she’d argue over $100 when she’s trying to win $1 million. Charla might have had more luck with leading the horse if she’d been, … for example, … Mirna. The horse needed someone to lead it, not be worried about being stepped on by it. The horse walked over to the roses for a snack and walked in circles because the person leading it couldn’t take big enough steps to steer it in the right direction with certainty! It was a silly decision to get Charla to complete that task.




5. Eric & Danielle


Last week: 5
This week: No change

This wasn’t the best episode for Eric & Danielle. They were bickering over a $2 cup of coffee (I could see the argument being made by both of them, so I’m glad I wasn’t there to have to take sides), and the responses from both of them deteriorated into childish “nerr-nerr” retorts, which was no doubt embarrassing for each of them. After being Intersected with the Gweirdos, it should have been clear that as long as they could stay level with the older guys, they’d be certain of staying in the Race, because Joe & Bill had a half-hour time penalty at the Pit Stop for not arriving in first place (another reason I wonder if the Intersection and/or Fast Forward were necessarily placed in the smartest spot of the Race by including them here when they did). When deciding to go for either the sausage-making or bagel-making tasks, Danielle surprised no one by asking, “24 inches is big, no?” (YOU’RE the American – inches is YOUR measurement!) I began to wonder, as Eric seemed to struggle with the sausage-eating task, if he wasn’t perhaps throwing the task intentionally, so that the Gweirdos were guaranteed to be the eliminated team. (Interesting thought, yes?) When Dustin finished her sausage but almost immediately threw up in the provided bucket, Eric called out, “Ladies and gentlemen, Miss California!” – which made everyone crack up. This is the perfect example of what I find so amusing about Eric: His wit and sarcasm (rare for an American, frankly). The noise of Charla making herself sick was gross for everyone to listen to, but particularly poor Danielle, who was struggling to block it out and not feel ill herself. After the task was completed, both Eric & Danielle and Joe & Bill returned to their taxis rather than look for their marked cars, which allowed Dustin & Kandice to overtake them. Although reaching the Pit Stop last, these guys were only a minute or two behind Joe & Bill, so the Gweirdos’ time penalty ended up costing them their position in the Race.




6. Joe & Bill: ELIMINATED!


Last week: 6
This week: No change

No one thinks much of Joe & Bill, and this episode gave us another indication of why that is. Although Joe was amazing in finishing his sausage-eating task first (no jokes, please) – and that’s before any of the four girls, who had started much earlier – he undid any goodwill he’d earned with that little accomplishment by being snippy with Danielle when Charla dressed up in the knight outfit and saying (rather unnecessarily, I might add), “Charla looks like a dressed up rat”. After all, what does that even mean?!! They were a couple of old bitches and I for one am certainly not upset to see them go.



--------------------


Last week's tips:

First Team: Oswald & Danny. Correct!
Last Team: Eric & Danielle. (Wrong)
Yield? Yes. (Wrong)
Fast Forward? No. (Wrong) – Dammit, I got these the wrong way around!
Elimination Week? Yes. Correct!
Biggest Argument: Eric & Danielle. Correct!
Smartest Team: Oswald & Danny. Correct!


--------------------


Next week's tips:

First Team: Oswald & Danny.
Last Team: Eric & Danielle.
Yield? Yes.
Fast Forward? No.
Elimination Week? Yes.
Biggest Argument: Charla & Mirna.
Smartest Team: Oswald & Danny.



If you haven’t already done so, check out the review of this same episode that Javatari posted on his blog.


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He's Makin' A List, An' Checkin' It Twice ...

Top three reasons why I love My Name Is Earl:


Number 3:

It's ludicrous.


Number 2:

It's hilarious.


Number 1:

(Brothers Randy and Earl are sharing a bed and falling asleep)
Randy: Hey Earl?
Earl: Yeah, Randy?
Randy: Who do you think would win in a fight - Muppets or Sesame Street?
*beat*
Earl: I don't really think they'd fight. They're both pretty peaceful.
Randy: But what if they had to? Like in that head-choppin'-off movie, where there could be only one.
*beat*
Earl: Muppets.
*pause*
Randy: Okay, what about Muppets or Fraggles?
Earl: Muppets.
Randy: Okay, what about Muppets or He-Man?
Earl: Just He-Man, or He-Man and his friends?
Randy: Just He-Man.
Earl: Muppets.
Randy: (Smiling) That's who I had.
*pause*
Randy: Good night, Earl.
Earl: Good night, Randy.


The cast of My Name Is Earl, clockwise from left:
Ethan Suplee as Randy Hickey, Nadine Velazquez as
Catalina, Eddie Steeples as Darnell, Jaime Pressly
as Joy Darville, and Jason Lee as Earl Hickey.

I admit that I'm a late convert to Earl, which is nearing the end of its second season here in Australia (although apparently Channel Seven airs the episodes out of order). I watched a couple of episodes of the first season, and while I enjoyed them very much and knew I'd like the show if I allowed myself to get into it, I felt there was enough TV on my plate at the time - and it wasn't on a convenient night for me, anyway.

This season, however, I have no such problem. It's on in the gap between Big Brother and Lost, so Wifey and I are happy to have it on and we both get quite a few chuckles out of it.

It really is very clever.


Brothers Randy and Earl are dumb, but
thanks to Karma, they're trying to be better people.

Jason Lee stars as Earl J Hickey, a petty crook with occasional run-ins with the law, whose newly-won $100,000 lottery ticket is lost when he is hit by a car. While lying in his hospital bed after the accident, he develops a belief in the concept of karma when he hears about it during an episode of Last Call with Carson Daly. He decides he wants to turn his life around and makes a list of all the bad things he's done. After a few good deeds, his $100,000 ticket comes back to him. He sees this as a sign and, with his new lucky money, he proceeds to cross items off that list, one-by-one, by doing good deeds to atone for them.

It's an interesting concept, and it works in large part thanks to the characters. The writing is strong, and the storytelling style is both fresh and amusing.

If you haven't yet given it a go, you haven't got long to start. Maybe invest in the season one DVD boxset instead, to get a feel for the characters. It's guaranteed to make you laugh, and then you can get the second season later on, before the third season starts airing here next year.


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Demet No-Moore

(Because it's pronounced 'Demi', you see ...)




There's not much I can say about just how much this woman irritated me in the House. She was quick to start fires and sow the seeds of doubt and mistrust between Housemates, and that kind of behaviour just gets under my skin.

Maybe she was doing it deliberately (which by no means excuses it in my book), and maybe she was just that crap at accurately retelling events the way they actually transpired.

Workmates of a good friend of mine actually know Demet, and warned me at the outset that she was a b!tch. Frankly, while she was still in The White Room, I couldn't see it. I was happy when Cruz opted out and then they voted Kara out of the Room. I probably would have preferred Harrison to go into the House because I didn't want the whole 'a psychic told me I'd go into the House' thing to be validated, but I also saw that a tall, buff, headband-wearing blonde himbo wasn't really what the House needed, either. At that point I didn't see what my friend's workmates were saying about Demet.

But I soon saw what they meant. She's nasty. And although not as bad as Emma (but no one's as bad as Emma!) at being cancerous and tearing people down behind their backs (under the pretense of "not being one to tear people down behind their backs, but ...") Demet was silly enough to think that being the newest Housemate in the group wasn't going to alienate her enough.


Demet was truly demented.

When she pissed Andrew and Hayley off by spreading those stories about what they told Nick in the Rewards Room (whether she thought she was accurately re-telling the conversation or not -- and she certainly wasn't), she very stupidly placed herself in the unenviable position of being the biggest target for eviction.

What a silly girl.

And all that rot where she was going on about her "sixth sense"? Puh-lease! She first claimed that no one in the House was fake, then she said that Andrew & Hayley are "fake" (whatever that means - and I certainly do NOT agree with that, anyway), and was unable to tell that she'd just shortened her Big Brother experience so drastically.

Frankly, I'm very glad that she's out of the House - she was stupid, boring, had an irritating voice, and was totally - like, totally - fake.

(The only thing fake in the House belongs to both Emma and Susannah. And the whole environment in itself. The people are real, Demet. Only the cardboard cut-outs at Friday Night Games are fake.)


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A Change Is Coming ...

Have any of you seen those new Network Ten teaser promos that simply say "A change is coming"? The image shown is what appears (to me) to possibly be a black letterbox (as in for your mail, not the format on your TV screen), with white numbers ticking over from 621 to 630 like a tacometer in the gap where the mail would go, which then fade to orange. Then, amidst the dramatic clash or chord, we hear the Network Ten female voiceover artist say, "A change is coming" in the sexiest tone she can muster.

Now, I may very well be wrong about this, but I wanted to register my prediction that this is a reference to the upcoming change to the Neighbours look and feel. Apparently sometime in September (which possibly means these teaser ads will be around for a long time yet - or again it may mean that I'm terribly wrong about all this), we're going to be treated to a new version of the Neighbours theme song and opening credit sequence.

I reckon these images might be a taste of what's to come:


(My apologies for the poor quality of these images.)


Time will tell whether or not my guess is accurate. If not, fair enough. But if so, I hope you'll all agree that I'm just ace. It certainly looks like a letterbox to me, and the '630' would of course refer to the time the show goes to air in Australia. I'd say it's a fairly safe bet to believe that's what these ads are on about.

Either that, or Network Ten has thought of a novel new way to announce when Gretel Killeen will be going through menopause.


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We No Speaka Your Language, Jerks

... Spoiler Alert! ... Spoiler Alert! ...


If you haven't yet seen (and you intend to see) episode 7 of The Amazing Race Series 11 – All Stars Edition (TARAS), do not read any further!


--------------------


The last TARAS episode we saw here in Australia ended with Teri & Ian being the last team to reach the Pit Stop and the fifth team to be eliminated from the All Stars edition of the show. The Pit Stop was located inside the grounds to the ‘Old Fort’ (Ngome Konwe) in Zanzibar Town, Tanzania.

The Detour was ‘Perfect Pitch’ or ‘Perfect Angle’. In ‘Perfect Pitch’, teams had to make their way three-quarters of a mile to the Prymas Palace and choose a grand piano. Then, they needed to use the provided tools to tune one of the keys. Once the concert pianist played a piece of Chopin's music and determined that their piano was in tune, he would hand them their next clue. In ‘Perfect Angle’, teams made their way approximately half a mile to the Escada Boutique to pick up a mannequin and carry it another 400 yards to the Panoramik Laboratory. Once there, teams had to use an x-ray machine to locate a clue embedded somewhere inside their mannequin which needed to be positioned at a very specific angle for the image to capture the name of their next destination and commemorate Marie Curie.

The unaired ‘Roadblock’ required teams to row a boat out onto the reflecting pool in front of the palace. The objective is unknown.

For the record, this was the order in which the teams reached Phil on the mat last episode, and the order in which they started this leg of the Race:

1. Charla & Mirna
2. Oswald & Danny
3. Uchenna & Joyce
4. Dustin & Kandice
5. Eric & Danielle
6. Joe & Bill
7. Teri & Ian


Note: If you're already ahead of this point in the series, please refrain from giving any spoilers in your comments. Thank you.

As always, I’ll provide my thoughts on each team in this episode, listing them in the order in which they arrived at the Pit Stop (hence the 'Spoiler Alert!').



--------------------


1. Dustin & Kandice


Last week: 4
This week: Up three places

A mystery from last week’s episode was solved this week: There was a 16-hour difference between the first and last teams in their departure times. This must have made is very difficult for Phil and the production team to be making their way from place to place and film Phil’s in-between bits to the camera as he explains each task and destination (which he has to do as they go, clearly). But to answer Andrew’s question from last week, it would appear that, yes, they kept the teams to their twelve-hour stopover only. I was misled because they didn’t show it in the previous episode (like they did in this one). Why they chose to show it this time but not the previous time is a bit strange (and confusing), but that’s TV producers for you. Now, on with the review: The funniest thing Dustin & Kandice have said in quite a while was stated at the start of this episode:

Dumb Blonde # 1: We’re gonna see Chopin play!
Dumb Blonde # 2: For real?
Dumb Blonde # 1: Well, … he’s dead …

It’s strange to think that the only change in the line-up from last episode to this one was that the two all-female teams swapped positions. No one else moved on the ladder. Part of this may come down to the fact that Dustin & Kandice arrived third at the ticket booking agents’ office (after Charla & Mirna and Oswald & Danny), but managed to secure their tickets and leave for the airport first. As they arrived at the Pit Stop, they wisely chose to drop their backpacks on a park bench and run on without them. I say ‘wisely’ in my most sarcastic tone (I’m using my sarcastic face as I type this), because who knows what might have happened to them after they abandoned them there. I was hoping they’d find them missing when they returned to the bench, but it appears nothing went awry in that regards (more’s the pity). I thought it was fantastic that Dustin & Kandice started out on the next leg while the other teams were still finishing this leg, but I think it only cruelly whetted our appetites to see what would be happening in the 8th leg of the Race …




2. Oswald & Danny


Last week: 2
This week: No change

Donny & Osmond made the right decision to join forces with Charla & Mirna at the ticket booking agents’ office at the beginning of this leg. True, it didn’t help them get their flights before Dustin & Kandice, but at the time, it was definitely the right decision. The fact that they, Uchenna & Joyce and Charla & Mirna were waiting for their tickets for up to seven hours in that office was a bit ludicrous, but I guess we can only take them at their word. I think I might have gone elsewhere to trying another method of obtaining my flight tickets, but perhaps there were no alternative methods of booking flights. After all, what would I know. Later on, it was nice to see Oswald apologising to their taxi driver for presuming he spoke English – that’s the kind of attitude tourists should adopt more often! (The apology, I mean – not the presumption.) He may be well-mannered, but he’s a bit of a butterfingers: He broke two piano strings before they were able to complete their Detour task! Then their hand gestures behind the pianist’s head as he played their Chopin piece for them was most amusing, although I think he was being very kind to them to allow their ‘tuned’ piano through (it still sounded out-of-tune to me!). The second team to head off on the 8th leg of the Race before some of the other teams completed the 7th, Oswald & Danny were very respectful of the concentration camp they were heading off to visit, which was another example of their nature. These two are most people’s favourites, now … and I’d certainly be happy for them to win because they’re just such nice guys. In fact, I guess they’re my favourites as well. But I still find Eric amusing (when he’s not fighting with Danielle or the Guidos).




3. Uchenna & Joyce


Last week: 3
This week: No change

It looked like Uchenna & Joyce were going to jump the queue by phoning the ticket booking agents’ office while the other three teams were sitting there waiting to be served, but Dustin & Kandice convinced the woman to hang up on him, which put them back. They had to sit through the (supposed) seven-hour wait like the other teams, but still ended up breaking away from the teams behind them, including Charla & Mirna. I laughed when Joyce (while searching for the outdoors Chopin-imitating piano player) opened the door on someone using a toilet! They were the final team to embark on the 8th leg of the Race before the episode ended.




4. Charla & Mirna


Last week: 1
This week: Down three places

Although these girls are HILARIOUS to watch, that’s really not a compliment. They were mean (speaking down to and offering a commission) to the woman who worked at the ticket booking agents’ office, making her feel like a child. Then they were rude to their taxi driver, making fun of the fact that he’s Polish by asking if he likes Polish sausage. (I wonder why he doesn’t like you, you arrogant pigs!) No surprises that in the next situation they found themselves in, they were getting no assistance from any of the Polish residents – of course, that could have been because they had a camera crew with them and were speaking loudly and obnoxiously in another language. Or the fact that they had a dwarf with them. The people (who were no doubt on their way to work) would have been ignoring them because they didn’t want to be roped into some kind of circus trick. “Roll up! Roll up! See a dwarf and an amazing angry woman eat you alive!” But when they compared the Polish natives to Americans and said that people would never treat tourists like this in America, I threw a chair at my television. Mirna read the ‘Angle It’ option on the Detour clue as ‘Angel It’. Angels you ain’t, sweetie. When they did such an awful job tuning the piano, Mirna’s “Sounds good to me” was a pathetic attempt at coercing (or bullying) them through the task. If that sounds good to you, you have no pitch, b!tch! Later on, the again encountered that strange phenomenon of the Polish not helping the loud and odd-looking Americans. Even the cop wouldn’t help them! I was laughing at that. Thankfully for them, they eventually managed to find a young woman who spoke English and was willing to help them. The mannequin they used was really in the wars by the time they got him to the hospital. He’d lost a hand and his leg had come out of its socket. Charla’s comment: “He’ll be fixed at the hospital” was great. Then she tried to cover his private parts to protect them from the x-rays. Had she forgotten that she’s on a race and was wasting valuable time? Sometimes I wonder about these two!




5. Eric & Danielle


Last week: 5
This week: No change

It appeared to be the beginning of the end with this couple last week. Eric and Danielle were at each other’s throats (a little) from the start. Eric told Danielle that Warsaw’s in Poland, adding “you knucklehead” in a playful tone that was lost on the oft-humiliated girl. She fought back, and they argued over what in effect was a poorly chosen moment to stick the boot in. He belittles her a bit too often, and she clearly ain’t the smartest cookie in the pack, but reminding her about this constantly on an international television show probably isn’t the kindest thing he could do for his girlfriend. Still, I don’t hate him because sometimes the things he says are genuinely funny. But yes, the bullying aspect of his character is extremely unappealing. When Eric & Danielle found themselves stranded together overnight with the Guidos, the old guys’ repeated attempts to secure a promise out of them that they’d leave the hotel in the morning together (for whatever purpose that could possibly have served) showed that the old guys are beginning to lose the plot. I thought Eric & Danielle’s piano tuning left a lot to be desired, but they completed the task and made it to the Pit Stop before Joe & Bill.




6. Joe & Bill - SAFE!


Last week: 6
This week: No change

The biggest indication that the Guidos were panicking in last place was when Joe went NUTS at the departing plane after they (and Eric & Danielle) were refused entry because they’d finished boarding already. Joe was a stereotypical American tourist at his best! They should know by now that airlines can’t load extra passengers once the doors are closed. The reasons are varied: security concerns, the plane’s weight has already been distributed, balanced-out and taken into consideration by the pilots, extra luggage can no longer be loaded (although in this case they only had carry-on luggage so this shouldn’t have mattered), the safety message from the flight attendants has already begun and can’t be interrupted, the passenger manifest has been checked and locked away, and the flight has been given clearance to take off. Ignorant passengers who believe that it’s simply a matter of opening the door back up so they can walk on (and that it doesn’t have any further effect than that) only make themselves look stupid. Anyway, Bill was suitably embarrassed by Joe’s meltdown at the terminal, so at least one of them kept a (reasonably) level head. It was interesting to note that the Guidos (or the Gweridos as I now call them) decided not to shadow Eric & Danielle’s choice of Detour task, despite making that decision last time with Teri & Ian and it working to their advantage. This time their decision to go their own way worked to their disadvantage, and so it should. They should have been smarter about it. They took longer with the x-ray task than Eric & Danielle took with the piano task (although it looked like being the other way around for a moment there), and ended up reaching the Pit Stop in last place. Luckily for them (and unluckily for the rest of us) they were spared from elimination. grumble grumble grumble



--------------------


Last week's tips:

First Team: Oswald & Danny. (Wrong)
Last Team: Charla & Mirna. (Wrong)
Yield? Yes. (Wrong)
Fast Forward? No. Correct!
Elimination Week? Yes. (Wrong)
Biggest Argument: Eric & Danielle. Correct!
Smartest Team: Oswald & Danny. (Wrong) – It was Dustin & Kandice, as much as I hate to admit it.


--------------------


Next week's tips:

First Team: Oswald & Danny.
Last Team: Eric & Danielle.
Yield? Yes.
Fast Forward? No.
Elimination Week? Yes.
Biggest Argument: Eric & Danielle.
Smartest Team: Oswald & Danny.



If you haven’t already done so, check out the review of this same episode that Javatari posted on his blog.


.

The Storm In A TJ Doesn't Bode Well

It was with great relief that I watched Tornado TJ being evicted from the House last night. She'd been driving me insane and comes a close second to Emma for the title of Most Infuriating Housemate of 2007, IMHO.


TJ: What a nutbag.

I know it amuses some of you, but the way TJ was so obviously slightly bonkers as she lost her temper with the boys and kept turning every conversation into mockingly (or blantantly) pointing out how the other person was always to blame for everything (she was never to blame - even when she apologised, she apologised for trusting the other person and taking them at their word or not seeing that they weren't 'mature enough' to handle her), and this kind of manipulation should never been applauded or rewarded.

She has serious abandonment issues, desperately needs to have a man in her life (although is adamant that this is not to 'complete her', but rather to give her something to 'play with'), and when someone stands up to her, she sees red and goes absolutely MENTAL at them. She has an untapped rage inside her that's going to cause her a lot of pain one day. And anyone who happens to be near her when she goes off.

I pity the fool.

Speaking of which ...


Bodie brought his misery on himself.

I actually found Bodie amusing some of the time - but on the downside, he was also stupid for returning to TJ after finally breaking ties, a lapdog to Emma when he proved he couldn't think for himself if a pretty (plastic) lady tells him how to think, and a pathetic 'dobber', sparking quite a few of the clashes between other Housemates around him.

There was plenty not to like about him, but I disagree that he was acting like a misogynist pig. He was just randy and dumb. He always said he only wanted the same thing that TJ had CLAIMED she wanted (a no-strings-attached 'squeeze' in the House), so he wasn't using her by hooking up with her. When it became clear that she was completely deranged and a psychotic troublemaker - and he dumped her once and for all - he should have held his ground rather than falling for her late-night whispers and promises of 'just cuddling' when his randy side dictated how he should behave with her in the dark and under the covers. Idiot. He has no one to blame for his current situation (touring the country with TJ in tow) but himself.

I don't agree with his attacks on Andrew & Hayley (they may appear 'boring', but the claim that they're 'fake' is just a stupid statement to make), but his constant chant-starting behaviour makes me giggle (mainly because others will mindlessly join in, even when the chant is intentionally stupid), and some of his tricks, pranks and comments were truly hilarious.

Still, the pair of them deserved each other, and when Bodie 'prayed' to God not to let him be evicted with TJ, God made sure they both got what they deserved.


.

Airport Loungin' Around

... Spoiler Alert! ... Spoiler Alert! ...


If you haven't yet seen (and you intend to see) episode 6 of The Amazing Race Series 11 – All Stars Edition (TARAS), do not read any further!


--------------------


The last TARAS episode we saw here in Australia ended with Uchenna & Joyce being the last team to reach the Pit Stop but the first team to be safe from elimination on the All Stars edition of the show. The Pit Stop was located on the grass out the front of the Fortaleza de Maputo (literally, ‘Strength of Maputo) in Maputo, Mozambique.

The Detour for this leg was ‘Solve It’ or ‘Schlep It’. In ‘Solve It’, teams had to make their way one third of a mile to the Beyt al Chai hotel where they would put together a 62-piece puzzle that recreates an image from a style of local artwork known as Tinga Tinga. In ‘Schlep It’, teams made their way one mile to the Kijangwani Lumber Yard. Once there, they had to choose a local handcart and load two 50-pound logs into their cart. Once loaded, teams had to travel more than a mile to deliver the logs to a shipyard.

This leg's Roadblock had one team member learn how to use a traditional wooden weapon called a rungu used by members of the Maasai people by throwing it 65 feet to destroy clay targets in order to retrieve their next clue from inside.

For the record, this was the order in which the teams reached Phil on the mat last episode, and the order in which they started this leg of the Race:

1. Charla & Mirna
2. Dustin & Kandice
3. Teri & Ian
4. Oswald & Danny
5. Joe & Bill
6. Eric & Danielle
7. Uchenna & Joyce


Note: If you're already ahead of this point in the series, please refrain from giving any spoilers in your comments. Thank you.

As always, I’ll provide my thoughts on each team in this episode, listing them in the order in which they arrived at the Pit Stop (hence the 'Spoiler Alert!').



--------------------


This episode gave new meaning to the term ‘Airport Equaliser’, although it was anything but equal. Someone with better maths skills than me informed me that there was an amazing 27 hour gap between the first flight out of Johannesburg and the last, so the eventual winners of this leg were able to benefit from a longer-than-usual Pit Stop (normally only 12 hours, but they had to wait for everyone to arrive before the 12 hours started). This should see an even more relaxed and recuperated couple of teams in the lead and an perpetually harried final couple of teams in the next episode.


1. Charla & Mirna


Last week: 1
This week: No change

The first thing I noted in this episode was Mirna telling her taxi driver, “Don’t hit the people, mister”, which earned her the vicious scowl the comment deserved. The girls managed to infuriate the woman at the first airport counter who refused to serve them until morning and wouldn’t let them make any calls on her phone (fair enough, really – no need to talk to her like she’s a child or an idiot). The decision to fly to Johannesburg and try their luck there was the smartest move they’ve made on the Race so far (Johannesburg being a much bigger city than Maputo, so the likelihood of more flight options would be vast – why nobody else thought this was a wise idea is frankly beyond me), and from there they managed to talk their way onto the best possible flight to Tanzania. Upon reaching the dhow (the ferry boat thing), they are told that due to a storm that’s purportedly on its way (scoff), they’ll have to wait until the following morning. The shots of the (utterly harmless) clouds and the sound of thunder did nothing to convince me that this was anything other than the producers trying their best to close the gap a little and keep the episode interesting. If the girls hadn’t still finished in first place, I might have been a bit angrier about this than I am. It was transparent and pretty harsh, seeing their good decision-making was being penalised for being too good! (Those who can’t stand Charla & Mirna would have been pleased with this set-back, but no matter who it was, it’s was unfair.) Oswald & Danny were the second team to the dhows, so they shared with Charla & Mirna (the dhows could carry a maximum of two teams per trip). On the way, Charla was seasick, and when Oswald applied a cold compress to the back of her neck to help, she replied with, “You guys know a lot of beauty tips”. Beauty tips??!!? Well, I guess we can cut her some slack, considering she was so sick at the time. When they arrived at the Pit Stop in first place, host Phil Keoghan informed them that they’d each won a catamaran, and naturally he then had to explain to them both was a catamaran is.




2. Oswald & Danny


Last week: 4
This week: Up two places

I don’t think I’ve mentioned this yet, but whenever I speak about these guys (to Wifey or the seven workmates of mine who are all avid fans of the show), I refer to them as Donny & Osmond. I just wanted to share that with you. These guys were lucky to catch up to Charla & Mirna at the dhow, and were unsurprisingly good at the ‘Solve It’ Detour task. Why they then stopped for fruit instead of high-tailin’ it to the Pit Stop is beyond me (actually, they said they were dehydrated and I believe them – but still!), because it cost them their newly-acquired lead. Danny’s instruction to Oswald when he was throwing the rungu at the clay pot (“You’ve got to have a limp wrist!”) was a carefully chosen phrase for comic effect. These guys are good fun and very nice (helping Charla on the dhow and not ridiculing her for her ‘beauty tips’ comment), but sometimes they need to think smarter. I know it’s in them; hopefully they bring it out in the next leg. Losing first place because they stopped for fruit should hopefully remind them of what they’re there for.




3. Uchenna & Joyce - ”Marked For Elimination” (but SAFE!)


Last week: 7
This week: Up four places

This was a great comeback from these two, who were “marked for elimination”, as the new lingo goes. They arrived at the mat in third place, had to wait their half hour, but still managed to hold on to their third place spot. It was amusing to hear Uchenna basically giving Dustin & Kandice a lecture on slavery on the dhow (but why not, while he’s got a captive audience? … pardon the pun), and I hope they continue to do well in the coming weeks.




4. Dustin & Kandice


Last week: 2
This week: Down two places

These chicks did nothing very interesting in this episode.




5. Eric & Danielle


Last week: 6
This week: Up one place

I was amused by Eric’s joke about the “Tanzanian Devil”, particularly because Danielle had to think about whether or not he was right – and he had to tell her that he was joking. What a pair these two make! The perfect couple I don’t think! IMHO, Eric & Danielle were extremely unlucky to be dragged off their original flight to Johannesberg, because it had been Eric who’d spotted the airline’s office open upstairs, Eric who’d led the other teams up there, Eric who’d done all the talking with the airline employee, and Eric who’d arranged for tickets to be booked for himself & Danielle, Uchenna & Joyce, Dustin & Kandice and Oswald & Danny. So the fact that Eric & Danielle were the team chosen as being “one team too many” and pulled off the flight would have been VERY hard to swallow. If I’d been Eric, I’d have been arguing that one of the other teams should have been the one to go, but I guess it’s a good thing for him that he didn’t resort to that. It’s no secret that Eric is my favourite team this season (as opposed to Eric & Danielle, yuk yuk), so I hope they do well next week even though the ad features them looking very unhappy about something important.




6. Joe & Bill


Last week: 5
This week: Down one place

These guys made some stupid decisions in this episode, from choosing to stay in line rather than follow the other teams upstairs (even though the other teams never returned, so something must have been up!), to being rude about Eric & Danielle being pulled off the plane – if they’d thought about it, Eric & Danielle would have had a better chance of being on the next possible flight, so sticking with them would have been smarter than hiding from them and laughing. They only put on their thinking hats when they’d arrived at the Detour and cleverly decided to stick with their last remaining opponents, Teri & Ian, rather than do the opposite task and possibly fall way behind. This decision worked well for them, because they completed the puzzle much faster than the other team and took off. Teri & Ian never caught up, thus sealing their fate. They might has well have stopped off for fruit along the way.




7. Teri & Ian: ELIMINATED!


Last week: 3
This week: Down four places

This couple was starting to irritate me a little with their arguing about sleeping in the airport to ensure they were at the head of the line, but they were more annoying still in their decision to wait in the queue instead of going upstairs to the airline’s office and getting on the standby list. Mistake followed mistake, which compounded their delays until they were still racing a day after Charla & Mirna had finished the leg. When Joe & Bill and Teri & Ian finished the puzzle Detour task, for example, it was dawn the following day. It wasn’t too surprising that Teri & Ian went out in this leg, because they appeared quite haggard and tired throughout what ended up being a three-day leg for them. I’m sure they were happy to book into a hotel room, have a shower, and go to bed.


Channel Seven impressed everyone by showing the ad for the ‘next episode’ during the closing credits … and of course it was the ad for the episode we’d just watched. Well done, Seven. You continue to amaze us all.



--------------------


Last week's tips:

First Team: Oswald & Danny. (Wrong)
Last Team: Uchenna & Joyce. (Wrong)
Yield? Yes. (Wrong)
Fast Forward? No. Correct!
Elimination Week? Yes. Correct!
Biggest Argument: Teri & Ian. Correct!
Smartest Team: Uchenna & Joyce. (Wrong)


--------------------


Next week's tips:

First Team: Oswald & Danny.
Last Team: Charla & Mirna.
Yield? Yes.
Fast Forward? No.
Elimination Week? Yes.
Biggest Argument: Eric & Danielle.
Smartest Team: Oswald & Danny.



If you haven’t already done so, check out the review of this same episode that Javatari posted on his blog.


.

It's Dirty Work, But Somebody's Gotta Do It

... Spoiler Alert! ... Spoiler Alert! ...


If you haven't yet seen (and you intend to see) episode 5 of The Amazing Race Series 11 – All Stars Edition (TARAS), do not read any further!


--------------------


The last TARAS episode we saw here in Australia ended with Rob & Amber being the last team to reach the Pit Stop and the fourth team to be eliminated from the All Stars edition of the show. The Pit Stop was located on the Martial Glacier in Ushuaia, Argentina.

For the Roadblock, one team member had to use a large, landmine-seeking rat on a series of complicated leads and cords to find a race marker above a deactivated mine. Once their rat gave the signal that it had found something, an Apopo Mine Technician would search the area. When the Race marker was found, the team would receive their next clue.

This leg's Detour was ‘Pamper’ or ‘Porter’. In ‘Pamper’, teams had to travel half a mile to the Maputo Central Market, choose a nail polish kit, and convince people to pay them to paint their nails, which in Maputo is a job usually performed by men. Teams needed to earn at least 30 meticals, which is about one US dollar, to receive their next clue. In ‘Porter’, teams made their way two miles to Market de Janet where they would use their bare hands to fill 10 large 45-pound bags with coal and sew each of them shut. Then, teams had to carry one of the ten heavy bags to a specified address where the owner would hand them their next clue.

For the record, this was the order in which the teams reached Phil on the mat last episode, and the order in which they started this leg of the Race:

1. Oswald & Danny
2. Eric & Danielle
3. Teri & Ian
4. Joe & Bill
5. Dustin & Kandice
6. Uchenna & Joyce
7. Charla & Mirna
8. Rob & Amber


Note: If you're already ahead of this point in the series, please refrain from giving any spoilers in your comments. Thank you.

As always, I’ll provide my thoughts on each team in this episode, listing them in the order in which they arrived at the Pit Stop (hence the 'Spoiler Alert!').



--------------------



1. Charla & Mirna


Last week: 7
This week: Up an impressive six places!

Who woulda thunk it?! I was quite surprised at how well these ladies did, although because this episode was aired as a double with the one that followed it (and the second episode was far more controversial), I have very little to say about the teams in this one. However, I did note with amusement that Charla is a big fan of TV’s Scrubs. (She was wearing a T-shirt that said, “I miss you” and appeared to feature a picture of actor Zach Braff!)




2. Dustin & Kandice


Last week: 5
This week: Up three places

When these two hiked two miles (or whatever it was) up the mountain of snow without their backpack containing the equipment they needed (and had to retrace their steps looking for it), I knew the blondes were back! Strangely, this seemed to be their only real mistake this leg (but it was enough to make them look stupid), and they were lucky enough to find the hidden beacon quickly, overtaking other teams who were having no luck in the snow.




3. Teri & Ian


Last week: 3
This week: No change

The only thing I noted about this episode for these guys was that they stupidly drove to the wrong market to do the ‘Porter’ Detour task. So they ended up doing the ‘Pamper’ one instead, which they completed very quickly and managed to overtake about five other teams. Ian’s frustration was starting to show a little more in this episode, but thankfully Teri wasn’t on the receiving end of it (too much).




4. Oswald & Danny


Last week: 1
This week: Down three places

I was surprised at how (relatively) badly these guys did at the start of this leg. They basically had a meltdown on the ice (pun intended, even though it’s a really crap one), and it looked like they may be in last place for a while. But they managed to bounce back and they had a couple of amusing moments, as usual. The first was in their pre-leg interviews, where they were both wearing a small flower behind their ear or in their scarf, making them look like they were having a great time and enjoying the Race. The second – and clearly the most amusing – was when they arrived at the mat covered in FILTHY coal dust from the ‘Porter’ detour task, threatened to hug Phil, and then chased him around the park a bit to a tune not too dissimilar to the Benny Hill theme music. We saw another joking side to Phil at this point, until the very real possibility that another team was hot on their tail forced them to properly check in and move along.




5. Joe & Bill


Last week: 4
This week: Down one place

Team Guido should be re-named team Weirdo. Their ‘argument’ with Eric wasn’t everything the ad had cracked it up to be (and I kinda agreed with Eric that they were behaving and reacting like tools), but Eric probably didn’t have to antagonise them so. Still, Eric’s a bit similar to Rob & Amber in that way – he knows that shaking up the other teams can only aid his own cause, so why not give it a try. The only thing I’ve written down in my notes is my surprise that Joe & Bill thought guys painting nails would be weird.




6. Eric & Danielle


Last week: 2
This week: Down four places

I must admit that Eric seems to know a fair bit of stuff, for a ‘COLEGE’ guy who never went to college and works as a waiter. He knew that Mozambique was in Africa, whereas Danielle (who knows how to wear clothes and that’s about it) had no idea where it was. I was impressed that he knew that, because Americans (God bless ‘em) aren’t exactly renown for their knowledge on world geography. At the end, in their footrace against Joe & Bill, his exasperated, “Dammit, Danielle!” was harsh, but in the heat of the moment (and feeling, as he must have, that she was letting him down by not running fast enough and possibly signing their elimination notice), I could understand it entirely. Maybe his annoyance is really aimed at himself for choosing to take Danielle on this Race instead of his former Race partner Jeremy (who would have been pulling his weight in this series, rather than just watching it*).

* Think about it.




7. Uchenna & Joyce - SAFE!


Last week: 6
This week: Down one place

Surprisingly, I haven’t written a single thing down about Uchenna & Joyce for this episode. They were unlucky in places, but also made rash decisions (like not getting one of the kids from the coal mine to direct them to the address they were heading to, like almost every other team before them had thought to do). Thankfully for all you U&J fans out there, this was the first no-elimination leg, so the happy couple were back in the second episode. But the new twist on the non-elimination legs was revealed to be a rather nasty one indeed! Unless they arrive at the Pit Stop in the next leg in first place (not impossible but extremely difficult), they have to wait half an hour before being checked in, which could be the difference between being safe and being eliminated. However, they no longer have all their money and possessions (excluding their passports and the clothes on their backs) confiscated. I really don’t mind Uchenna & Joyce, although viewers who didn’t see their original season with Rob & Amber (or perhaps those who did but who were cheering Rob & Amber on for the win) often don’t see what’s so charming about this pair. I think it’s their happy ability to stumble through the Race with a little less than 100% brains at work, but with such bright enthusiasm.




--------------------


Last week's tips:

First Team: Eric & Danielle. (Wrong)
Last Team: Charla & Mirna. (Wrong)
Yield? No. Correct!
Fast Forward? Yes. (Wrong)
Elimination Week? No. Correct!
Biggest Argument: Joe & Bill. (Wrong) – It was Oswald & Danny on the ice.
Smartest Team: Oswald & Danny. (Wrong) – I guess it was Charla & Mirna.


--------------------


Next episode's tips: (as tipped in the comments last week, once the ‘double episode’ thing was realised)

First Team: Oswald & Danny.
Last Team: Uchenna & Joyce.
Yield? Yes.
Fast Forward? No.
Elimination Week? Yes.
Biggest Argument: Teri & Ian.
Smartest Team: Uchenna & Joyce.



If you haven’t already done so, check out the review of this same episode that Javatari posted on his blog.


.

The Nation Kates You

Okay, I can say it now, because she’s out of the House: Kate's the Housemate I know in real life. (I said I wasn't going to identify which of them I know until the Housemate in question was voted out.) It was a no-brainer that she'd be voted out first. She actually IS like that in real life.

SHOCK-HORROR! SHE WASN'T BEING MISREPRESENTED!

I think she’ll be better off for being out of the House and away from those idiots who were (initially, perhaps) giving her a hard time. But Kate was struggling in many ways in there, and I think being reunited with friends and family will do her the world of good.

Although she and I were never really close, I certainly knew her as a loud, ‘rough’ girl who said what she thought and enjoyed a good time with boys ‘n’ beer.

That’s why I knew she’d be Evictee # 1.

Being Evictee # 1 must be a strange feeling. For all the proud thoughts of love and warmth Gretel was sharing with her on stage tonight, surely the one thing going through her head was: EVERYONE HATES ME!


Kiss THIS, Kate!
The first official casualty of Big Brother 2007.

The rejection is pretty major, and very, very public. I can’t imagine it’s anything other than twelve parts of embarrassing.

But the stuff about pre-eclampsia was worth noting. Wifey disagreed with Kate’s assessment that hospitals don’t advise mothers on the risks and likelihood of pre-eclampsia so they don’t “spoil the funness of pregnancy”, because Wifey was told about it and she read heaps on the topic in the pregnancy books she hunted down.

Perhaps the problem is relative to Geelong-based hospitals. Or maybe Kate just needed to pay more attention to what she was being told, and/or do some pregnancy research of her own, like Wifey and I did.

Either way, it can only be a good thing that the end result of this is the way attention was drawn to pre-eclampsia. I’m all about raising awareness for such important matters (in part because it’s cheaper than raising cash), so if anyone wants to know more about pre-eclampsia, here’s the link you need.

I think it would have been a better House if Kate had stayed in there a little longer (and I’m not talking as someone who knows her, either), but there was no way the 13 year-old girls who make up the majority of the votes on Big Brother were going to leave her there after that horrendous first week she had.

And the fact that Kate doesn’t have the perfect body – that was certainly reason enough to vote her out ... at least, it is when you're a vapid pre-teen who idolises the Emmas of this world.

It's wrong, but there you have it.


.

Karma'ngeddit

... or ...

Pride Cometh Before The Elimination






... Spoiler Alert! ... Spoiler Alert! ...


If you haven't yet seen (and you intend to see) episode 4 of The Amazing Race Series 11 – All Stars Edition (TARAS), do not read any further!


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The last TARAS episode we saw here in Australia ended with David & Mary being the last team to reach the Pit Stop and the third team to be eliminated from the All Stars edition of the show. The Pit Stop was located on a beach made of black volcanic ash near Playa Petrohué in Chile.

Teams chose between ‘Navigate It’ and ‘Sign It’ for this leg's Detour. In ‘Navigate It’, teams had to use a map of Punta Arenas to get to the town plaza where a sailor would hand them a compass. Then, using the compass, the teams needed to walk directly south to find the Nautilus Building, a deep-sea salvage business. In ‘Sign It’, teams had to choose a pole and building supplies and carry them up a flight of stairs to Magellan's Map. Using the map as a reference, teams needed to figure out that Magellan's journey around the world began and ended in Seville. Then, teams had to build a traditional local signpost listing – in the correct order – the fourteen ports of call from Magellan's voyage. While the signs didn't have to point in the right direction, all the cities had to be spelt correctly.

The Roadblock on this leg was to sort through 1,600 pieces of mail until they found one of two letters addressed to their team, which were written by one of the other teams from their ‘original season’. The team member completing the task then had to read the letter out loud to their partner, after which they received their next clue.

For the record, this was the order in which the teams reached Phil on the mat last episode, and the order in which they started this leg of the Race:

1. Rob & Amber
2. Uchenna & Joyce
3. Eric & Danielle
4. Dustin & Kandice
5. Oswald & Danny
6. Teri & Ian
7. Joe & Bill
8. Charla & Mirna
9. David & Mary


Note: If you're already ahead of this point in the series, please refrain from giving any spoilers in your comments. Thank you.

As always, I’ll provide my thoughts on each team in this episode, listing them in the order in which they arrived at the Pit Stop (hence the 'Spoiler Alert!').



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1. Oswald & Danny


Last week: 5
This week: Up four places

I don’t know why, but these guys seemed to come from nowhere. Perhaps it’s just because I’m a bigger fan of Eric & Danielle, so I was cheering them on in my head a bit more, but Oswald & Danny just seemed to take out the first place position with ease. It was good to see someone other than Rob & Amber winning a prize for arriving at the top of the pack, and after coming second to Rob & Amber for the first two legs, I guess these guys deserved a win. When host Phil Keoghan told them they’d won a holiday, Danny asked him, “Will you be coming with us?”, to which Phil’s reply was, “That’s a whole different reality show”. I love Phil – he’s very witty and an all-round top bloke (that’s the highest form of praise an Aussie male will give to another guy).




2. Eric & Danielle


Last week: 3
This week: Up one place

I really hoped Eric & Danielle were going to somehow beat Oswald & Danny to the mat, but I’m not too fussed about the guys winning – I just wanted Eric to win something (he came first so often in his ‘original season’ that I know he can do it … even if he’s carrying around some dead weight with him this time in the form of Danielle – sorry, darling, but it’s true). I thought the Roadblock in this episode was a fantastic idea (and one that would really only ever work on a season like All Stars - unless the team’s friends or family members were to write them a letter and they read them towards the end, when they were missing home a bit more), but I truly felt cheated when Eric opened his letter and it was from his former racing partner Jeremy and Danielle’s former racing partner Dani. I mean, it made perfect sense and I’m sure meant a lot more to them, BUT I WANTED TO HEAR FROM BJ & TYLER!! It’s possible that the two letters were penned by different teams in their ‘original season’, so maybe the other letter than Eric didn’t find was written by BJ & Tyler. And maybe it was a second copy of the letter Eric read aloud. I dunno. Anyway, neither of the top two teams really put a foot wrong on this leg, but starting out earlier in the pack and getting on the first charter flight really set the pace for them all being able to stay ahead of the game. (They could have made mistakes and fallen back, of course, but my point is they were in a better position by being in the lead.) Oh, and pretty much the only contribution Danielle made in this episode was confusing Argentina for Australia. Nice. She’ll be getting no sympathy from me.




3. Teri & Ian


Last week: 6
This week: Down three places

I’m starting to wonder about these two. They don’t strike me as quite the smarties I initially thought they were. I suppose, to be fair, I should point out that their only real mistake was to head down the wrong path when they reached the beach and were looking for the cluebox … but as we saw later, they weren’t the only team to do this. And they also managed to talk their way onto the 9:50am flight, so they were doing alright, really. In fact, if they hadn’t headed the wrong way at the beach, they may have been in the first ferry, and possibly finished the leg in first or second place (Eric – who grabbed the first ticket for the ferry – would have been racing them for the top position … with Danielle in tow, I suppose).




4. Joe & Bill


Last week: 7
This week: Down four places

What a pair of tossers! There’s really not much to like about these guys at all, IMHO. They started out the leg by repeatedly asking the guy at the airport check-in counter if he could let them on the flight (that Teri & Ian had just successfully talked themselves onto), but when the guy said the flight was closed, they just DIDN’T GIVE UP! Why don’t you guys SHUT UP for a moment? The dude said it’s closed! (I can understand them wanting to do everything they could to talk themselves onto the flight, but they really went on about it FAR too much.) They did well to overtake Rob & Amber and Dustin & Kandice during the Detour, and seemed to sweep ahead and leave them far behind – at least until most of them caught up with each other at the pier while they waited for their ferry. After leaving the letter Roadblock task, they bickered all the way to the mat – whereupon everything was okay again (once Phil told them they were the fourth team to arrive). The ad for next week’s episode looks interesting. Eric seems to have a pretty heated argument with them, and I can’t help but wonder who comes out looking better from that little run-in. Eric certainly seemed to be making the childish comments, from what we saw on the promo, but that’s often just Eric’s way of dismissing those he’s arguing with, so we can’t really tell at this point who’s being more petty.




5. Dustin & Kandice


Last week: 4
This week: Down one place

These girls made another big mistake in this episode: Joining forces with Rob & Amber! Who would have thought we’d ever be saying that was a poor decision?! One important thing we learned in this episode (courtesy of Oswald) was that Kandice (the slightly more attractive of the two, IMHO) is a noisy snorer! We have no idea if it’s true or a vicious rumour/lie/joke, of course, but it’s worth noting nonetheless … because it points out that no one’s perfect. Except for Wifey. When they teamed up with Rob & Amber and found themselves running in the opposite direction to Joe & Bill (who were using their map and compass), based purely on Rob (who wasn’t using either item) believing he knew where the building they were looking for was, the girls should have stopped in their tracks, checked their compass, and done things properly. That was a warning bell indicating Rob’s panic if ever there was one. So although Rob led the foursome off track, the beauty queens only had themselves to blame for following him. Moving up into fifth place from this pretty major setback was actually a very good turnaround.




6. Uchenna & Joyce


Last week: 2
This week: Down four places

After a great result last episode, it was disappointing to see Uchenna & Joyce plummet so far down the ladder. Having said that, however, their drop wasn’t as dramatic (or final) as another team I could mention, so let’s keep things in perspective. Joyce had apparently asked an airline employee for directions to the next cluebox before visiting the ladies room, and while in there, Rob allegedly (actually, he admitted as much himself) took the instructions and high-tailed it outta there. Perhaps the employee assumed they were ‘together’, but seeing Uchenna must have witnessed it (or at least knew about it), why he didn’t say something to Rob is a mystery. Maybe he did and it just wasn’t captured on camera (which would explain why both Rob and Uchenna were re-telling the story in their respective taxis later). When they reached the Detour, Uchenna & Joyce selected the ‘Sign It’ option (as did Rob & Amber), and both teams struggled to complete the task. Rob knew a surprisingly large amount of history, as evidenced by knowing that Magellan's trip started and ended in Seville (he didn’t simply work this out by looking at the map – he actually knew his facts!), and Amber was right in telling him to keep it to himself because the other teams didn’t know that. Uchenna & Joyce worked on the assumption that Magellan's voyage started in Guam (for some inexplicable reason), and it wasn’t until they re-read their clue and studied the map a little closer that Joyce worked out they needed to start and end with Seville. This pleased Uchenna no end, and led to their departure from the task (and being the only team – of the four who attempted it – to finish the task). Joyce’s ability to decipher that clue seemed to make up for her abysmal attempt at the boardroom Roadblock a few episodes ago. I know they all want to be pleasant to one another when there’s no actual racing going on, but I was surprised how heartily Joyce in particular was laughing at Rob & Amber’s re-telling of how they’d tricked Charla & Mirna into thinking there was a cluebox down the wrong path at the beach they’d just left.




7. Charla & Mirna


Last week: 8
This week: Up one place

Well, that another big episode – no pun intended – for these two. We started off with Mirna practicing some stand-up material at the expense of her diminutive cousin (“I have to make up for our shortcomings”), and stating – with a straight face – how she has to do more than any other person has ever had to do on the Race. Once the scoffing stopped, I saw her point. Mirna’s always carrying everything, running (and sometimes dragging) Charla along, doing all the driving, speaking to most locals herself, and so on. It’s true; she has a rough time of it – but at least she can see over the counter at McDonald’s. Have some perspective, Mirna! You’re cousin’s a dwarf! She hasn’t exactly had a problem-free life, herself! I imagine. Not that I’m advocating treating Charla with felt gloves or patronising her with sympathy, but COME ON. She was HOOKED-UP WITH A LITTLE DWARF MAN WHO SPOKE NO ENGLISH at the end of the previous leg, woman! You don’t have to blow your own trumpet about your work on the Race. (Of course, I’m just being funny – I actually greatly enjoy watching Charla & Mirna in the Race, and if Eric & Danielle, Oswald & Danny and Uchenna & Joyce were all eliminated, I’d be delighted to see these girls win.) When Charla didn’t bring their purses up the steps from their car and Mirna had to run back down again (all the while verbally insulting and embarrassing her tiny relative for forgetting their passports, etc), I couldn’t help but feel for Charla and the onslaught she was receiving. Why didn’t she ask if Mirna had brought their purses with her? But I guess that’s just how they are. New Yorkers. Loud and brash, getting near-hysterical and carrying on like loons … but they love each other all the same. (And the Full House audience goes: “Awwww.”) Although things settled down between the girls after that, the pressure of frequently being in last place clearly played on their minds because as they carried the signpost materials up the steps, Mirna had another shouty meltdown directed at her cousin (who – it must be said – was probably trying to be helpful and not look useless, but really needed to do as Mirna was saying and stop making things worse for everyone). When calling for a taxi later, it was amusing to learn that the girls have a whistle! Probably a great idea when you aren’t gonna know every language and be able to hail a taxi very easily in foreign lands, but I don’t know why we haven’t seen it until now. Then there was the taxi run-in with Rob & Amber as the two teams were the last to leave the airport. This was the first of three noticeable run-ins with the season favourites (the other two major run-ins being when Amber lied about the fictitious cluebox at the beach, and the brief verbal spat between Mirna and Rob during the letter Roadblock), and in each instance I couldn’t help but side with Charla & Mirna. They were pretty much the victims in each instance, showing that when their backs are against the wall, Rob & Amber’s tactics will happily turn to bullying. Misleading I understand, psyching their opponents out is fine, and I’d even try my hand at some sneaky dealings if I was on the Race and wanted to avoid being eliminated. But I’d never want to win by being a bully. When Charla & Mirna caught up with Rob & Amber (and Uchenna & Joyce) on the pier, Mirna naturally demanded to know what Amber was ‘playing at’ by lying about the cluebox. This was a little silly, but Amber’s reply was misunderstood or misheard by the girls. Amber claimed that she was telling Rob she’d “got it” (realised where the clue was), rather than telling the girls as she passed them that she’d got the clue, but Charla told the camera later that it made no sense for Amber to be telling Rob that she got the clue. Um, that’s not what Amber said, Tiny (even though what Amber said was a blatant lie). Mirna’s claim that she knows when someone’s lying because she’s an attorney seemed a little boastful (not to mention unlikely), but all-in-all these girls are the sort of team I can’t help but watch with fascination. One other thing: Consider what the ad for this episode was saying. For Charla to be a ‘hero’, the implication is that they were going to out the ‘villains’ (which I guess isn’t far from the truth). But it was probably wrong of Channel Seven to presume that everyone prefers Charla & Mirna over Rob & Amber. I know of at least two people (Javatari and Mars) who’d disagree with that assessment quite strongly.




8. Rob & Amber: ELIMINATED!


Last week: 1
This week: Down (and out) seven places

Okay, I know I tipped Charla & Mirna last week to be eliminated in this episode, but in my defence I hadn’t yet seen the ad that went on and on about Charla (“the girl everyone loves” – you say what, now?) being asked to be a “hero”. When Colls Bolls left a comment about this ad in last week’s post, I didn’t know at that point what she was referring to (although I agree with her view that the term ‘hero’ is overused – and because Charla wasn’t in fact asked to save anyone’s life, the term was definitely misused in this instance), but once I did see the commercial, it was pretty obvious what was going to happen. At least Phil’s voiceover last week didn’t make it 100% certain that Rob & Amber would be last (he could just have been referring to a fight, as I said in last week’s post), but good old Channel Seven again spoilt things for everyone by making it a no-brainer that Charla & Mirna were going to beat Rob & Amber to the Pit Stop. (I have too much integrity to go back and change my tip mid-week, however.) Rob & Amber spent a bit of time researching the shipwreck on the Internet (why does no other team think to do this?), but then wasted most of that time thinking it was a painting they were looking for (tip to the show’s producers: send teams to find a painting but let them think it’s an actual landmark in some future series – that’s a frickin’ great idea!). Why Rob “doubted” that Uchenna & Joyce’s taxi driver would know where the shipwreck was (when, as Amber pointed out, their own taxi driver had known) is anyone’s guess. I think it was just Rob’s ego and misplaced bravado at work. At the ‘Sign It’ Detour, it was amazing that Rob misspelt the word ‘Philippines’. How he could possibly misspell Phillipeans is beyond me. It was written right there on the map! Philipenes! He even said, “It better not be a spelling thing”, but apparently neither he nor Amber thought to check the spelling of the word ‘Fillepeaunes’! How dumb is that. (Seriously, though – why didn’t Amber go and check the spelling of each word as Rob hammered them all in, once they’d gotten it wrong twice already?!?) Clearly they’re not used to being in last place, and when the pressure’s on, Ron in particular likes to charge ahead with no pause to think things through properly. Teaming up with Dustin & Kandice didn’t really help their cause, particularly when Rob let his ego lead them off in entirely the wrong direction! When you’re holding a compass in your hand and you need to head due south, why you wouldn’t have a look at the compass before tearing off towards some building you’d seen earlier (and don’t even know if it’s the right one – and while another team is running off in the opposite direction) is just ludicrous. Later, Rob & Amber even started to get snippy with each other while they were waiting in the airport. When they took what was arguably Charla & Mirna’s taxi, Rob lied that they’d rung a taxi as well. But inviting bad karma like that was always going to come back to bite him. I must say that despite my criticism (which wasn’t really criticism as such anyway) of Amber tricking Charla & Mirna into thinking that the cluebox was further along the wrong path at the beach, I thought Amber’s “cover story” later when Mirna accosted her about the incident was brilliant. Claiming that she was simply telling Rob she’d worked out where the cluebox was (although impossible and obviously a lie) would have been transparent and infuriating for the girls, but there was nothing they could do to prove Amber’s story wrong. Apart from using Amber’s own admission on tape as evidence that she was lying. No matter which way you slice it, Rob & Amber’s elimination last night was their own fault. They can’t blame anyone other than themselves, and they can’t even really put it down to bad luck. There was a bit of bad luck involved, but the fault was definitely their own. Even though I didn’t mind them this season, it was kinda amusing to see them fall so far.




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Last week's tips:

First Team: Eric & Danielle. (Wrong) – I was very close, though!
Last Team: Charla & Mirna (or possibly Rob & Amber – but my tip is for Snow White & The Angry Dwarf). (Wrong) – I was very close again! But no cigar.
Yield? No. Correct!
Fast Forward? Yes. (Wrong)
Elimination Week? Yes. Correct!
Biggest Argument: Charla & Mirna. Correct!
Smartest Team: Dustin & Kandice. (Wrong) – Not considering they teamed up with Rob & Amber (which – on any other leg – would ordinarily have been a smart move). I’d have to say it was either of the first two teams; Oswald & Danny or Eric & Danielle.


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Next week's tips:

First Team: Eric & Danielle. (I’m sticking with them because they’ve been steadily increasing through the ranks from 4th place, to 3rd place, and now sit comfortably in 2nd place – with no Rob & Amber left to steal 1st place from them!)
Last Team: Charla & Mirna.
Yield? No.
Fast Forward? Yes.
Elimination Week? No.
Biggest Argument: Joe & Bill.
Smartest Team: Oswald & Danny.



[-- Aside --]

I’d like to offer my most heartfelt condolences to Mars. I’m not sure if she’s going to be reading this post or not (she’ll possibly boycott it – and the rest of the season of TARAS - now that Rob & Amber have been eliminated). I’m not gonna say, “I told you so”, because that would be childish (and redundant, because – as we all know – I did tell you so).

[-- Aside Ends --]



If you haven’t already done so, check out the review of this same episode that Javatari posted on his blog.


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