Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Locked Up To The Max

I have it on good authority that Stephen Lovatt, who plays Max Hoyland on Neighbours, will be departing the show for a period of time later this year, returning in 2007 (or sooner; perhaps later this year).

Ever since Max backed his car into Katya, I have been suspecting that this will be achieved on the show by having his character locked up for a time (it's apparently going to be a two month hiatus) on some charge or other.

Of course, it now appears that his running into Cameron Robinson will be the cause; whatever the outcome of Cameron's life-in-the-balance situation and Paul's threats.

A couple of things that could happen here:

- Katya could get quite upset/obsessed/bunny-boiler-like at Max after he tells her he's not interested (I know he's done this already, but it looks like he's going to have to be more forceful about it), and then that will make her turn jealous and bitter towards him (hell hath no fury, etc), leading to her testifying against him in court, telling them what Max owned up to about their accident (that he was on his mobile to Steph when he backed into Katya).
- Cameron could die and Max will be charged with manslaughter or similar.
- Cameron could live but Max could still be charged for manslaughter or reckless driving, etc.
- Cameron could die and Paul may take actions that lead us to believe Max is dead (maybe he'll turn up in 2007 with Connor and Dee, fresh from drinking their way around Australia without thinking to contact anyone back home?).
- The accident/s may not be primarily responsible for Max's departure from the show. It could actually be that he and Steph break up (probably over Katya or associated issues), and maybe Max leaves to live with his mother (a reverend) in Fiji or something. He may even return a changed man! But the point is, his disappearance from the show is only meant to last for around two months, so it can't be anything too drastic.

As I said, Max's leave of absence from the show may have nothing whatsoever to do with the current storyline being unraveled, but it strikes me as an excellent way of temporarily writing a character out of a show. I don't really know the timeline of his expected departure, so I could be wrong. But it'd make perfect sense, so just remember: You heard it here first (or maybe not first; for all I know this will be common knowledge by the time I post this!).

Also, 'Blind Anne' is definitely the real Bree Timmins. There's no doubt. But will it all lead to a satisfactory conclusion? So far it's been unrealistically drawn out and convoluted.


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Monday, August 28, 2006

I Want A Baby Meerkat

Why I want a baby meerkat: Last night, this show premiered on Network Ten at 6:30pm. The meerkats in the show - especially the baby ones - are absolutely adorable!!

Why I love Wifey: She cried when baby Mitch was taken away from the burrow by his troublemaking teenage siblings and then abandoned, cheered when Mitch's older brother Shakespeare (who she'd earlier announced she liked) returned to be the hero and carry Mitch back to the burrow, and then cried non-stop when Shakespeare was bitten twice by the puff adder. She then left the room and refused to come back into the room after the final ad break to see if he survived, because it was making her upset. Suspecting that he'd be fine (he was listed in the show's opening credits, so they were hardly going to create an opening credit sequence that was redundant after one episode!), I insisted she come back and watch the end; for closure. Unfortunately, they decided to leave Shakespeare's well-being open-ended by finishing with the line, "It doesn't look like he's going to make it through the night ..."

Thanks, Mike!*

(Because this inconclusive statement set Wifey off crying again, I quickly jumped online, looked the show up on Wikipedia, and set her mind to rest that Shakespeare survives the double puff adder bites and earns the nickname of being so tough and courageous as a result. It made her much happier to go on and watch Australian Idol.)


Shakespeare, "the courageous one", babysits his newborn
brother Mitch by keeping an eye out for any predators


The show itself is a great idea, and while it pokes gentle fun at soap operas (and, as Mike suggested more than once in his introduction, is similar in style to reality TV shows like Big Brother), it's actually nothing more than an extremely clever way to camouflage a documentary as addictive and educational television.

In what must be miles and miles of footage (or "kilometres and kilometres" to us Aussies), the creators have ten years' worth of filmed action at Meerkat Manor with which to play, edit and formulate thematic 'episodes' with self-sufficient 'storylines'. It's brilliant.

We learn about the behaviours of meerkats in their natural habitat, the scientists learn more and more about their social and other patterns/skills, and we're entertained into the bargain! Everyone wins.

Despite being "really, really ridiculously good-looking" cute, it's a half-hour of documentary-style TV you'll find yourself actually enjoying. Maybe it's because David Attenborough isn't narrating it.




* Incidentally, it's good to see Mike Goldman having another gig while Big Brother's on hiatus. I think he's an excellent TV presenter and I'm glad he's being used rather than shelved during BB's off-season. Also, landing this voiceover gig appears to be quite the accomplishment. In the UK, it's narrated by Bill Nighy (decidedly not "The Science Guy"), while in the US, it's narrated by none other than Magical_M's favourite, Sean Astin. So Mike's in with some pretty impressive company, there. Considering the job of narrating the show could have gone to Rove, Bert, Kochie, Baby John, Livinia, Pete Smith, Shawn Cosgrove, Glenn Ridge, John Deeks or even Gretel Killeen, I'm happy for Mike that he was approached instead.


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Thursday, August 24, 2006

Why So Much 'CrapTV' (TM) ?

  • David Tench Tonight
  • The Wedge (especially The Wedge!)
  • Comedy Inc: The Late Shift
  • Quizmania
  • The Uplate Games Show
  • Midnight Zoo
  • Australian 'Celebrity' Survivor
  • Yasmin's Getting Married (deceased)

Need I go on?

I must say, however, that I didn't mind the first episode of Real Stories at all! Maybe I'm getting soft in my old age, but most of the gags amused me greatly. The idea that a legitimate reporter (Jennifer Adams) is hosting the thing and making deadpan statements like "Recruiting; annoying when it's al-Qaeda or the gays, but vital when it comes to paperboys" and "Touching young boys all across Australia; what a lovely man" just made it all-the-more hilarious.




I hope Hamish & Andy have better luck with this show than with their previous foray into television (by which I mean: I hope Real Stories lasts longer than six episodes).

I enjoyed the show a lot more than I thought I would - and I'm looking forward to next week.

Everything else on the above list can follow Yasmin's Getting Married's lead and sod right off, though. Especially The Wedge!


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Tuesday, August 22, 2006

I Don't Care WHAT They Say


(Don't worry; the only possible spoiler here is the photo. Ignore it - and the caption underneath it - if you don't want to see who the regular cast members for season three are.)

I've heard a lot of people talking about Lost who are annoyed by it. Invariably they are frustrated with the slow pace at which 'secrets are revealed', or they get pissed off by the flashbacks, or they just think the whole thing is some kind of weird supernatural fancy that isn't going to end up being worth the time it'd take to watch the show. Still others have complained that the idea shouldn't have gone longer than two or three night (as a miniseries event only).

Let me tell you this: THESE PEOPLE HAVE NO IDEA.

Anyone who says any of these things about the show (and I know I won't be talking about you, gentle readers), is frankly too dumb to understand the brilliance of Lost.

I know some of you who read this blog are also fans of the show, while others have asked my opinion in the past about whether or not it's worth investing the time. And my wordy-Lordy-yes it is!

The series was never intended to be a miniseries event. That was never the intention. The creators and writers had always planned the series to last four seasons (at least), and have blocked out each of those seasons with the gradual revelations of the characters and the island in order to keep the plot moving forward.

As for the apparent overly-slow rate of secrets being revealed, you must consider whether or not your beef is with the show or with Channel Seven's continual promises (on the ads they run each week) of "this week you WILL find out what's going on" and so on. That's not the fault of the show; that's the network desperately trying to hook enough people into watching the show each week (with apparent disregard for all those who then get pissed off with what feels like a broken promise and refuse to watch any further episodes). I often don't agree with the promos and share your anger (if that describes your experience). But I make sure I direct that anger at Channel Seven, rather than at the exceptionally-skillful creators and writers of Lost. The secrets do get revealed, but only at the right time to open our eyes to a new layer at play we hadn't even realised was present. Bear in mind that a whole episode can be taking place within the space of half a day on the island, or sometimes one full day (occasionally over the span of two days, but rarely any longer than that). So although a week has passed FOR YOU since the events of the previous episode, sometimes for the characters it's less than an hour. We've now seen two full seasons, but from the perspective of the characters on the show, only 65 days has passed since the events of the first episode. For them, it's still 2004.


The regular cast members of Lost's third season.
Michael, Walt, Libby and Ana Lucia are gone, but
Desmond & Fake Henry are now regulars. Oooooh!


The complaint about the flashbacks has proven to aggravate me the most, because this is the most groundless of them all. And it only serves to highlight how little the person making this complaint truly understands anything about the show at all. The whole point to the show is that each episode is taken from a different character's point of view, and we are shown something about them, about the island, and/or about other characters. But all through their eyes (more or less). The idea of focusing on a different member of the ensemble cast each week to tell a new story is an ingenious one, and I for one love it. We are shown something about each character's backstory, and we get to know them on a new level. Often, as in the case of characters we may have heretofore despised, we get a glimpse into what makes them tick, why they are now the way they are, and frequently our perception of them is changed radically by the end of the episode. In this way, the writers are able to constantly surprise us, giving us a deeper look inside each character, and often making us sympathise with characters we never thought we would have cared for or about. (Initially, I thought the character of Jin was going to be both boring and stereotypically an abusive, two-dimensional Asian husband who doesn't really love or look after his beautiful wife ... but that view was quickly blown out of the water in 'his' episode, and now Jin is one of my favourite characters on the show -- a fact that I find amusing, considering how I was so disinterested in him for the first six or so episodes. Sawyer is another one you assume you won't like, but often find yourself feeling sorry for.) The flashbacks are what make the show what it is, and anyone who says they hope the flashbacks will be written out of the show one day just simply hasn't got a clue about the purpose they serve. They're not there to 'pad' the episode or waste our time; they are all carefully constructed to mirror (or explain) the current situation that's happening on the island. If you watch the show and you haven't seen that, then there's something wrong with you. But this complaint mainly comes from people who've watched a couple of episodes and just haven't understood what they're seeing.

The final major complaint I hear about Lost relates to the various theories of what's actually going on on the island. The methods to the madness contained in each episode. Basically, that everything probably boils down to some kind of supernatural thing that's so far removed from reality that it's not likely to be interesting to anyone but sci-fi geeks. Well, speaking unofficially for the sci-fi geeks, bIjatlh 'e' yImev! yIDoghQo'! nuqDaq 'oH puchpa''e'? *

The writers have repeatedly answered online and press-featured theories and rumours by choosing to discount many of the more fanciful examples. Are the characters in hell or purgatory? No. Are they in a parallel universe? No. Have they travelled through time somehow? No. Are they contestants on a massive reality show? No. Are they clones? Are they the last humans on Earth? Have they survived the Rapture (or been taken by it)? Are they sharing a giant hallucination? No, no, no, no and no.

So what does that leave us with?

Plenty. There are scores of different theories on the show itself, plus hundreds of smaller theories breaking down every mysterious element of the island, from the monster to the numbers, from the Black Rock to 'The Others', from the polar bear to the shark. It's all been thought of before, plus many more theories you and I couldn't have come up with if we'd spent a year doing nothing else. It's incredible the number of theories that exist out there. And although some are more 'fantastical' than others, the ones that hold the most legitimacy for my money (partly because the creators have basically said there's a real reason behind everything and it's not 'magic'), are those that point to electromagnetism as being behind all the strange things that've happened on the island. When you read into it, it actually makes a lot of sense!

So basically, I don't care WHAT they say. They can slam the show and talk about how it doesn't make sense or it moves too slowly or the flashbacks are annoying or the reason behind everything is too airy-fairy all they like. As far as I'm concerned, they're only showing how little they understand anything about it. And while it's sad that they're shooting their mouth off and revealing their own stupidity (IMHO - no offense), not to mention missing out on such a phenomenal show, they're only underlining how a show with such amazing brilliance is clearly being aimed too high. This kind of viewer is exactly why intelligent shows don't work. The common viewer is just too dumb to follow along and make sense of it.

So if you don't get it, don't watch it. You're the one who has no idea how intricate and clever it is. If you think it makes no sense or is somehow lame, I'd advise you to keep your mouth shut so you don't make a fool of yourself. (Yes, I don't suffer fools easily!)

For anyone who's already seen seasons one and two in their entirety and would enjoy reading up on all the possible theories that have been floated (as well as all things Lost, such as all known details about each character, the events of all screened episode thus far, and much, much more), you can visit the Lost version of Wikipedia: Lostpedia. You have until 4th October to do so before season three starts airing in America, at which point spoilers (for Australian viewers) will start to infiltrate the pages and you won't know what is 'safe to read' and what isn't (until then, however, you can rest assured that you won't accidentally stumble across any spoilers for season three because they're clearly marked). While you're there, check out the freakishly-amazing action figures they've had made. More will become available (as it says on the page), but in the meantime these are some pretty remarkable pieces of work.

Finally, if you're not into Lost yet (or have given up on it along the way for one reason or another), I can only stress to you one last time how exceptional a show it is. It's a thriller of sorts, so clues are provided as you watch each episode, but you have to be paying close attention. And not everything gets revealed at once. But there's certainly new stuff each week to keep you guessing and hold your interest. I'd recommend hiring (or buying, if you're really keen) seasons one and two (season two will be available the same date the third season starts airing in the US - 4th October - coincidence?) and try to watch them before next February, when the third season is sure to start airing in Australia. There's plenty of time for you to do that (if it sounds like too much to watch, MelbourneGirl will be able to testify that it's the sort of show you can speed through really quickly), and I promise you: You won't regret it.



* Translation for those of you who don't speak Klingon: "Shut up! Don't be silly! Where is the bathroom?"


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Sunday, August 20, 2006

BlackJack Comes Up A Winner!

I've watched the last two BlackJack telemovies these past two Sunday nights, and I must say I was very impressed. Where was I when the previous three BlackJack telemovies were aired?! How did I miss them?

Actually, I have a faint memory of them (or some of them, anyway) being advertised, but they didn't catch my attention/interest and for that I am truly regretful.

THESE TELEMOVIES ARE EXCELLENT.

It came as no surprise (but quite a lot of interest) to note in the credits that the series was created by Shaun Micallef and Gary McCaffrie. Brilliant.

Starring Colin Friels, Marta Dusseldorp and David Field, BlackJack's backstory is basically that Jack Kempson (Friels) is a Sydney cop who "ratted out" some dirty cops for corruption. After he does this, he is considered poison in the workplace, and no one will help him (and those who do are warned not to). His boss, Inspector Kavanagh (Field) is especially bitter and vindictive towards Kempson, relegating him to the basement and putting him in charge of "entering cold cases onto the computer" (computer skills being something everyone knows Kempson doesn't have). However, in so doing, Kempsey uncovers various unsolved crimes that he's able to look into (officially-unofficially), and despite the best efforts of Kavanagh to undermine Kempson and take all the credit for any successful cases closed, Kempson seems to take it all in his stride and get the job done.

As far as I can tell, that's an accurate assessment of the backstory I missed. He is assisted in all but the original telemovie by new recruit Sam Lawson (Dusseldorp), who takes a shine to Kempson and even tries to help him get his head around computers. Each telemovie features a different supporting cast of impressive Australian actors, a new crime or two to be solved, further developments in Kempson's troubled career, ongoing character storylines regarding Kempson and Lawson's personal lives, and inevitably a different haircut for Friels.




Last Sunday night, I saw BlackJack IV: Ace Point Game, which guest starred Craig McLachlan, Sasha Horler, John Brumpton and Gigi Edgley. Tonight it was BlackJack V: Dead Memory, which guest starred Garry MacDonald, Erik Thomson, Sophie Lee and Daniel MacPherson. I'm quite annoyed with myself that I missed BlackJack I, II and III, but thankfully IMDB tells me that BlackJack VI and VII are still on their way. I hope there are even more after that.

With last week's Ace Point Game, it was my first foray into the world of BlackJack - and I'm not even sure what made me watch it. I saw the start and thought it looked well done, so I just kept watching. Before long, I was hooked.

True, I've always liked Colin Friels (I was a big fan of Water Rats from when it started in 1996 to when his character left the series in 1999 - and pretty much stopped watching altogether after that ... which is rare behaviour for someone like me who generally sticks with a show long-term, regardless of any changing cast members), so I think it was the appeal of Mr Friels that got me in in the first place. And it was equal parts him and the dual storyline (the crime and his challenging personal/professional life) that kept me in there.

Even though I was able to predict 'the big twist' from the get-go, that didn't serve to lessen my enjoyment of the whole experience. I found it excellently put together, ingeniuously filmed and edited, and superbly acted by all.

As for tonight's telemovie, Dead Memory, the high standards from last week were still present, and this time I was unable to guess the ending. Which made it even more challenging, but by no means less enjoyable.

My favourite moments in Dead Memory included Inspector Kavanagh yelling at Kempson to stay away:


Kavanagh: [Really yelling angrily and heatedly, almost spitting in fury and looking like he's going to burst a blood vessell; staring right into Kempson's face at close range] YOU STAY OUT OF MY [BEEP]ING CRIME SCENE, OKAY, KEMPSON? GOT IT?

Kempson: [Casually, thoughtfully, mock-reflectively] Yeah, ... yeah, I think that's pretty clear ...


(Maybe you've gotta be able to hear the dialogue being delivered by the characters themselves. It was gold.)

Another funny recurring moment was when Kempson was in a small convenience store in Sydney and then later when he returned a few times to complain about the food he'd bought there. On his first visit, he asked the storekeeper what kind of name 'Terv' was (reading from the man's badge), to which the guy replied wearily that it was a typo (it should have read 'Trev'). However, in all conversations with the man thereafter, Kempson casually calls him 'Terv' without drawing special attention to it in any way ... and it makes it all very funny and had me chuckling for a long, long time.

I think what appeals to me most about both of these examples is Colin Friels' deadpan and perfectly understated delivery. He's a truly exceptional actor, and I'm yet to hear anyone really lay into him or his work.

I also think Marta Dusseldorp is a relatively excellent surprise package. I don't mean to belittle her, here - I'm sure she must have done lots of brilliant acting work in her past to have landed the gig in the first place, but let's face it: She's not exactly a household name yet. However, I think she has the potential to be an absolute star. Of course, it doesn't hurt that she's a knock-out, but putting her looks aside for the moment, the strength of the acting she exhibited, particularly in tonight's Dead Memory telemovie (which focussed on a missing friend of her character's from four years previously), really highlighted her magnificent ability. I was highly impressed and really felt she was experiencing the pain she was showing us (especially the scene in the national park where she helps Jack dig in the dirt with sticks).

As for the performances from the guest stars, I was noticeably impressed with Craig McLachlan, Garry MacDonald and John Brumpton in particular, but that's not to say Daniel MacPherson, Gigi Edgley, Sasha Horler, Erik Thomson, Sophie Lee and the other outstanding cast members of both telemovies didn't also do a fantastic job. Because they did. The casting and direction here were just as incredible as the writing and acting.

The final point I want to make is no small point at all. What a winner this series is for quality Australian-made drama. Yes, it's a joint production with the BBC, but for the most part, it's Aussie drama that the BBC helped finance and will air over there. That's only good news for Australian-made drama as well. An international audience. And it's good stuff. We're not showing the world some second-rate crap that will only serve to embarrass us. True, the formula may not be original (and the "angry boss trying to undercut the hero's best efforts at being a good guy and yet he still manages to come out on top" theme may have been done to death), but I really don't think that detracts from the viewing pleasure at all. Put simply: BlackJack rocks.

If anyone knows where I might be able to get my hands on the first three BlackJack telemovies, please let me know. If they ever get replayed on TV, I'll certainly be tuning in.


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Thursday, August 10, 2006

My Biggest Loser Posts

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Too Many 'Special' Fat Losers

Okay, I'm going to officially go on record as saying it: I don't care about all the Fat Loser specials out there.

First, we're shown the original Biggest Loser series, which is (of course) American. Wifey and I quite enjoyed that, and surprised ourselves a little. Then series two aired, although Wifey and I didn't watch that one. Then we get our own Australian version of the show, which I thought was great. And for once, I liked the decision to bring the American trainers over to feature on the show. It was great to get their perspective of Australia, Australians, and the comparisons between that series and the two previous American seasons.

But then things started to get a little weird.

First, there was a one-off special, spanning the entire thirteen weeks or whatever it was in one night, that pitted one fat family against another fat family. Tastefully, it was a case of blacks versus whites. And because America wouldn't have it any other way, the 'whites' won. (Actually, Otto lost such an incredible amount of weight, their win wasn't too surprising. The moment probably would have had a bigger impact on me if Network Ten hadn't stupidly decided to show a shot of the newer, thinner Otto in their promo, thereby removing any motivation for me to watch it through and see the results the way the writer/producers intended. As a result, I watched most of this special on fast forward. I thought it was interesting that once the white family won the final weigh-in, the black family were completely ignored. No runner-up prize (apart from their health, I suppose), no "congratulations to you guys, too", no shaking of their hands and thanking them for being such great sports. The host and the winning family completely blocked them out of the shot with their cheering (which is fair enough in a way), and while they stood behind the white family, smiling and clapping, the black family were duly disregarded as so much excess fat. Nice.

Then, just one week later, we were subjected to another "Fattest Loser" special. This time it was the battle of the bulge between two brides-to-be. They may as well have subtitled this one: "Who's marrying the biggest whale?" This show was anything but respectful. If you're gonna be a thin bride no matter what, why appear on an international television show to let everyone see just how large you were to start off with and how you went through hell to get where you are? Where's the dignity? (Probably laughing all the way to the bank with the $50,000 cheque.) To tell you the truth, I didn't even bother watching to the end. My tip is: One of the fat loser brides-to-be won the money, and the other one didn't.

And then the other night Australia was subjected to even more frantic Fattest Loser fandom, when all twelve original contestants from the first Australian series appeared on the Sandra Sully quiz show Australia's Brainiest <insert category here> special. The most upsetting thing about this was that Shane was ROBBED! ROBBED I TELL YOU!

I would have preferred Fiona, Artie or even Tracy to win rather than Joker-face Jo. That woman distresses me with her freaky eyebrows and her scary mega-grinning mouth. I CAN'T HANDLE LOOKING AT HER! At least Tracy, who I loath for personality reasons, doesn't make my internal organs want to run and hide behind a rock. The terrible she-mullet she'd elected to wear ON NATIONAL TV just truly capped off a completely unsettling physical appearance. Hopefully she'l join the circus and be done with it.

Amidst all this, you may recall that I received a whinging email from Artie, and we've seen the ads promoting auditions for the second Australian series. The only good thing about that is we'll be seeing more of Bob and Jillian on our shores (at least, I hope we will!), but otherwise I'm feeling a little over it.

I'd change the channel and be done with it, but I can't find the remote control, and there's no way I'm lifting my huge arse off the couch unless it's to get me some more fried chicken.

<BURP!>

The most enjoyable part of watching Australia's Brainest Fat Loser was seeing the lovely red dress Sandra Sully was wearing. Although fairly run-of-the-mill when she walked on stage at the beginning of the show, from the moment it cut to the lowered camera that films her at the podium (facing up), the angle made it appear that she was filming the show in her underwear!

I'm not being perverted, here: Wifey will attest to the fact that once observed, the image of her standing there wearing nothing more than a red bra was very distracting! (Of course, I guess it doesn't hurt that this is Sandra Sully we're talking about, either ...) The dress was made out of material that passed (on screen, anyway) for a bra, and if you don't believe me, I have proof:



Sandra realising she's only wearing her bra.




Sandra not caring she's only wearing her bra.


Who needs The Wedge? The 'Sandra Sultry' parody in particular is completely redundant if the real woman is going to host TV shows in her underwear ...

(I'm pretty much looking for any reason to get rid of The Wedge.)

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Monday, August 07, 2006

TV Show Left At The Altar

I've been thinking of starting up my on reality TV show. It'd feature Yasmin Dale, home alone, curled up on her couch in her fleece pyjamas, watching Love Actually, eating strawberry ripple ice cream straight from the container and crying into the sleeve of her pyjama top. I plan to call it Yasmin Ain't Gettin' Any.



Yasmin Dale: Loser in (and out of) love.


Heehee. As a famous bunny rabbit once asked, "Ain't I a stinker?"

This article has an interesting closing. Network Ten, who was originally planning to pay for the whole wedding as per the agreement betwen Yasmin and the network, has stated outright that whenever she eventually does get married, they will follow through on their commitment to 'foot the bill'.

I wonder if they'll honour this agreement if she gets married in forty years' time. And will they restrict the cost to a certain dollar amount? Surely if the wedding had gone to air as planned, they would have spared no expense to make it look top-notch. Will the same be true of a wedding only the invited guests get to see?

And will David Mott get an invite? (Perhaps he'll get to toast the bride, if he's paying for everything!)

I want to make it clear that I have absolutely no interest in this show, but I am exceptionally amused that it did so poorly that Network Ten axed it after only four days. My apologies to all you TV industry types out there who only cringe at the notion, even if you had nothing whatsoever to do with this failed venture. Perhaps it's a sign at long last that people are getting sick of too much crappy reality TV?

I'd drink to that.


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Friday, August 04, 2006

Big Brother 2006 (BB06)

Thursday, August 03, 2006

24 Obituaries


Part 1 of 2

(Click here for Part 2)

Wifey and I recently finished watching the fifth series of 24. The fact that it playing out so quickly on Aussie TV is both great and awful. It's great because it was such a 'rush' to see four hours of the show each week (in two consecutive days, no less!), and it's awful because we got so 'worked up' watching it that it was hard to go to sleep afterwards (so I often didn't). Also, the season was over so soon, we've been left in a massive post-series funk.

But the show is very addictive television and makes for excellent edge-of-your-seat viewing (if you're willing to suspend disbelief on certain aspects and just enjoy the storytelling).

Attention: If you haven't seen (but intend to see) the first five seasons of 24, I advise you to read no further. What follows is a run-down of the deaths, maimings, disappearances and survivals over the first five seasons of the show.

As part of my way of dealing with the post-season depression I'm feeling, I have decided to collate a list of names and (wherever possible) faces of those who've died on the show over the years (excluding most of the 'bad guys', because we don't care about their deaths). Part 2 will highlight those who've suffered in some other major way. I will also list in Part 2 those characters whose whereabouts are either unknown or unclear, and those I'd like to see return to the show in seasons six or seven.

(The 24 movie they're writing at the moment is going to be released between seasons six and seven of the show, so that's why I'm confident about there even being a seventh season when I make the above statement. And no, it won't be a 24-hour-long movie! It'll be a two-hour representation of a 24-hour day, just like most movies are.)

As I was compiling this list (and spending a great deal of time on it, as I'm sure you'll shortly come to realise), I included a brief (or sometimes not-so-brief) summary of who each person was, how they died, and what their death meant to the show. Yes, I have too much time on my hands, but at least I'm spending my spare time writing/reviewing/recapping TV shows, which is my hobby. It's not like I'm throwing rocks off bridges at passing cars, or anything.

Note: The 'we' in the following post refers to Wifey and myself.

Another Note: When talking about certain 'Days' (with a capital D), that's the show's way of referring to each consecutive season. For the most part, I have continued with this convention below.



-----------------------------------



Characters who have sadly passed away:


1. Teri Bauer


Teri was Jack's wife in Day 1. She was Kim's mother and discovered during the day that she was pregnant with Jack's second child. She had previously thrown Jack out of the house, for which Kim resented her, but the series starts with the pair newly-reconciled (although their relationship remained on shaky ground) and Jack having just moved back in. During the day, she suffers from temporary amnesia, is abducted and almost murdered (the latter multiple times), tracks down her kidnapped daughter (alongside a man who turns out to be in league with the terrorists - rather than being another concerned parent [the father of Kim's friend Janet], Alan York, as he'd claimed to be), discovered that Agent Nina Myers had been romantically involved with Jack while they were separated, and various other calamities. In the final minutes of the season, she works out that Nina is the mole at the Counter Terrorist Unit (CTU), and when she tries to get away, Nina ties Teri up and kills her. Jack discovers her body only after taking Nina into custody and is naturally heartbroken.



2. Jamey Farrell


Jamey was a programmer at CTU who was implicated in the terrorist activities during Day 1. It was revealed that Jamey was the CTU mole when Teri Bauer was captured by Ira Gaines' men, because Jamey had given Teri's location to the bad guys instead of giving it to CTU. Jamey had been exchanging messages and intel with Gaines, as well as tapping the security cameras so Gaines could see the working at CTU. When Nina and Tony Almeida caught on, they trapped her, and she admitted that she had been paid $300,000 by Gaines in exchange for inside information. She refused to talk to them, however, as she wanted immunity. Jack told Nina and Tony to bring in Jamey's son, Kyle. When she discovered that Kyle was to be used as a bargaining chip, Jamey was distraught and asked for a few minutes alone. When they returned, she was unconscious with blood spurting from her arm. She died shortly thereafter in an apparent suicide. All of this happened in the first half of the Day. However, in the final minutes of the Day, Jack suspected Nina's involvement with the terrorists when she lied to Jack about Kim. Nina told him that the Drazens still had Kim hostage, causing Jack to go after the Drazens on his own, when in reality Kim had been returned safely back to CTU. Big Bad boss Victor Drazen wanted Jack to fall into their trap so they could kill him. Suspicious of Nina's lie when he instead killed the Drazens (because he's like Superman), Jack had the CTU surveillance footage recovered from the time of Jamey's 'suicide', which revealed that Nina had returned to the room, zapped Jamey with a taser, smashed a nearby mug on the table top, and used the shards to gouge open the unconscious woman's wrist so she'd bleed to death. It was this footage that proved Nina was in fact the Drazens' CTU mole. Shortly after Jamey's body was discovered earlier in the Day, her young son Kyle was picked up from CTU by Jamey's mother.



3. George Mason


George was the nasty boss character in Days 1 and 2, but it's a testament to the writing team and to the show itself (and also to the actor, Xander Berkley) that his death was still a heartbreaking one. A tough, no-nonsense boss (who manages to make the occasional witty remark in true 'action flick hero' style, regardless of the situation), he was nevertheless excellent at his job and committed to doing the right thing (as long as his head didn't end up on the chopping block as a result). He became more reflective and 'human' after being exposed to plutonium in Day 2 and being told he had somewhere between a day and a week left to live. Reconnecting with his angry and resentful son so he could hand the astonished young man all his money and say an awkward goodbye, George then accompanied Jack to an airport where the season's big threat, a nuclear bomb, was to be flown out over the Mojave Desert and detonated miles from anywhere, to minimise casualties. Tricking Jack (who didn't trust George's rapidly-failing health to ensure he would crash-land the plane far enough away from civilization) by stowing away on board the small plane and revealing his presence when it was too late to turn back, he gave Jack a strangely compassionate peptalk about dealing with Jack's loss over Teri, getting back in contact with Kim, and finding the bad guys responsible for the Day's events. After Jack parachuted to safety, George flew the plane to the designated point in the desert, said, "It's time," and flew the plane into the ground (which caused a massive mushroom cloud on the horizon), thereby using his unavoidable death to eliminate the threat of a nuclear explosion in a populated area. In the end, he was a hero.



4. Ryan Chappelle


Ryan was another 'nasty boss character' that everyone loved to hate. However, when it came time for him to face his death, the lead-up and the moment itself were so skillfully scripted (and performed by actor Paul Schulze), that it was a shocking section of Day 3's events. For an interfering by-the-book boss-man, Chappelle was superb. When one of Day 3's larger criminal masterminds, Stephen Saunders, detected Chappelle's online investigation to track an electronic bank transaction involving Saunders in an attempt to locate the terrorist, Saunders contacted President David Palmer and blackmailed him (with the threat of releasing into the general population a portion of the vials of a deadly virus known as the Cordilla virus that he had in his possession at the time) into having Chappelle executed. Jack was contacted 'off the record' by Palmer and forced to carry through with the cold-blooded murder before Saunders' men arrived and claimed the body for verification. Although Chappelle's reaction to this news was understandably panicked, and after initially trying to flee, he ended up reflecting that he had no family to speak of - and no friends at all - so his life had been a complete waste. It was a terribly sad note for him to 'go out' on, but as the clock ticked down, Jack was forced to put a gun to Chappelle's head and kill him ... which he did.



5. Nina Myers


There are probably three 'controversial' deaths in this list of "people we're sad are dead", and of those three, this would be the most controversial (the other two would be George Mason and Ryan Chappelle, above, and the reason they're all so 'controversial' is that most viewers couldn't stand them and were glad to see them being killed off, but not me). Nina Myers began Day 1 as the dedicated, loyal and brilliant assistant to CTU boss Jack Bauer. It was quickly established that Jack, who had just returned to his wife and daughter after a period of being shut out of the family unit, had been involved with Nina while he was separated from his wife Teri. Attracting (and disproving) suspicion as the CTU mole early in the season, we as an audience were led to believe the mole was most likely bad-tempered and he's-got-it-in-for-Jack-Bauer new guy Tony Almeida. In actual fact, the reason for Tony's moody stares and gruff persona when dealing with Jack and others was that Tony was currently in a relationship with Nina (he was her rebound relationship after Jack had ended things with her), and he suspected that she and Jack still had feelings for each other. At the end of Day 1, Nina was unmasked as the mole and killed Teri Bauer in an unsuccessful attempt to escape capture. She returned for selected episodes of Days 2 and 3, at which point Jack (still aching from the loss of Teri) executed her in cold blood (although he later claimed she'd made a move towards her gun) by shooting her three times in the chest. Although a 'bad guy' through and through (well, she was once she was unmasked as a traitor; before that, we thought she was Jack's right-hand-man), her death was a definite loss to the series IMHO because her presence added a fantastic level of menacing terror that at the time I felt any new characters found it hard to match. However, I concede that finding a legitimate way to include the character in each relevant Day's terrorist attacks would have been stretching the plausibility factor far too much.

INTERESTING FACT: One of Nina's known aliases was "Sarah Berkeley". Although you won't find it in any of the 'official' sources (actually, I should clarify that by stating that I haven't seen it written anywhere), this choice of alias strikes me as an obvious in-joke for the cast and crew of the show. Sarah is the actress' own first name, while Berkeley is the surname of actor Xander Berkeley, who played George Mason (above) in the first three seasons. Although I'm only basing this on my own knowledge and nothing more, I think it's a pretty safe bet to say that this isn't a coincidence.

UPDATE! (1st September, 2006) I just discovered that "Sarah Berkeley" is in fact actress Sarah Clarke's married name, as she met Xander Berkeley on the set of 24 and they were later married. They even kept news of their marriage a secret from fellow cast and crew mates for a time! So that officially makes Nina's alias an in-joke as reported above. I just didn't realise how 'in' the joke actually was. Sarah is currently pregnant with their first child, due sometime later this month.



6. Mark DeSalvo


Mark was a last-minute ally of Jack's at the end of Day 1 who helped Jack interrogate and then attempt to move the government's secret prisoner Victor Drazen (the aforementioned Big Bad of season one). DeSalvo worked for the Department of Defense, in a top secret hidden detention centre. Jack and DeSalvo were leading Drazen down one of the underground hallways in the centre when an explosion blasted an entrance nearby. Victor's son Andre and his team entered the detention hallway and found Jack with his gun trained on Victor. They in turn held DeSalvo at gunpoint, and Jack relented in the standoff, despite DeSalvo's warning: "Don't release that prisoner! Don't do it, Bauer, don't do it!". As Jack released Victor, Andre shot DeSalvo anyway, killing him instantly. It is common opinion amongst fan circles that the role of Mark DeSalvo was specifically created so good friends Kiefer Sutherland and Lou Diamond Phillips (who co-starred in both of the Young Guns films together [as well as four other, lesser-known films] and portray Jack and DeSalvo respectively in 24) could have the opportunity to work together again.

INTERESTING FACT: According to 24.wikia.com, This character was named after the winner of an auction set up by 24's producers to raise money for the families of victims of the September 11 terrorist attacks. The real Mark DeSalvo, a Manhattan stockbroker, paid US $5,200 to have his name appear on the show. This fact adds weight to the theory that the role was created "on the fly" (or at least "as a special favour") so Lou Diamond Phillips could guest star on Kiefer's show, as mentioned above. Alternatively, it could be the reason that this theory has been incorrectly floated, if indeed it's not true to begin with.



7. Gael Ortega


Gael was a CTU agent in Day 3 who we were originally led to believe was another mole for the bad guys (this time the Salazars). How do the bad guys keep infiltrating what would have to be the ridiculously-stringent security forces of CTU all the time?? Surely there should be a probe into that! But anyway, it turned out that Gael was in fact a good guy, and was only pretending to be a CTU mole working for the bad guys. He was a double agent, and his aligance was indeed with Jack and CTU. Gael was one of only three people to know about the top secret sting operation-double agent thing he had going on; the other two were undercover agent on the field Jack, and CTU boss at the time Tony Almeida. This caused Gael considerable discomfort when he was discovered to be a spy at CTU after holding Kim hostage so she wouldn't reveal what he was up to behind closed doors, and was subsequently arrested by Michelle Dessler and tortured by Ed Miller. Throughout the ordeal, Gael remained silent to maintain the secret operation's cover, bless him. Only after Jack had regained the Salazars' trust in the field did Tony inform Michelle and President Palmer the true nature of Gael's supposed traitorous behaviour, and thereafter Gael worked with CTU until his death later that Day. Caught in the Chandler Plaza Hotel when a vial of the Cordilla virus was released, he was the first to die from the effects. Although Michelle (who was also present but turned out to be one of the 98% of the world's population who are immune to the virus' effects) placed a gun next to Gael so he could choose to end his intense suffering if he wanted to, he said he'd been raised to believe that suicide was a sin, so he declined the offer. When his wife Theresa came to CTU to collect his things, she found Gael's un in his desk, and shot Stephen Saunders, the bad guy who'd ordered Ryan Chappelle's execution earlier that Day, as she passed him while being led out of the building. Saunders was there because he had since been captured, and was trading immunity for the identification of the virus' couriers to other parts of the country for a syncronised nationwide release.



8. Paula Schaeffer


Paula was a recent hire to the tech department at CTU during Day 2. Although it was her dream job, the threat of a nuclear bomb going off in Los Angeles terrified her and made her doubt her abilities. After some encouragement from Tony Almeida and Michelle Dessler, she agreed to stay on and help with the crisis. She was severely injured in that Day's bombing of CTU. Despite there being grave concerns for her chances of survival if she was forced to wake up before her body was ready, George Mason ordered her to be revived (much to the dismay of Tony and Michelle). George needed to know which volume Paula's information had been stored on so they could tackle the next hurdle in the Day's events. As Paula gave them the code, Michelle told her that she'd just saved a lot of lives. George also complimented her for her assistance, but by then it was too late. Paula simply smiled and died. The medics attempted to revive her without success.



9. Alan Milliken


Alan was a wheelchair-bound former stroke victim who was also one of President David Palmer's chief financial backers, and David owed him big time! If David wanted to maintain Alan's support (which is exactly what he wanted), he had to do whatever Alan demanded. And Alan demanded that David fire his brother Wayne Palmer as his Chief of Staff. Why? Because Alan had recently learned of a one-year affair Wayne had had three years previous with Alan's pretty young wife Julia, and the vengeful husband wanted to hit Wayne where it'd hurt. Wayne initially gave Julia a secret visit to emplore her to get Alan to drop the demand, and it looked like it was going to work when Julia agreed. However, she stipulated that she'd only do so if Wayne would agree to re-start their illicit affair. Wayne, who didn't like being treated like 'the other man', said he couldn't do that again. Later, David's estranged wife Sherry Palmer visited the Milliken residence, first urging Julia to do as Wayne requested (which Julia refused to do unless Wayne would start seeing her again on the side), and then arguing with Alan himself about his threats to David. The shouting got to be so much that Alan started having a heart attack and asked desperately for his medication. But Sherry, always the manipulator who knows no bounds, held Julia back and refused to assist Alan in his dire circumstances. He died trying to open his bottle of meds.



10. Julia Milliken


Immediately following Alan's death, Sherry encouraged Julia to return to bed and act like nothing was wrong, and that in the morning she would simply report that her husband had died of a heart attack in the kitchen during the night. This would mean Julia could have everything she wanted (the money and comfort her husband's wealth had provided for her, and Wayne, the man she wanted to be with all along) and everything else would work out. But after Sherry left, Julia panicked and rang the police. When questioned, the guilt and grief made her crumble, and she admitted to the real events instead. Never one to concede defeat, Sherry resorted to emotional blackmail with David, coercing him to provide a false statement to the police saying that Sherry had been with him the entire night. Although he did lie to protect her, he was disgusted with himself and told Sherry he never wanted anything to do with her again. Meanwhile, Julia discovered that she was going to take the fall alone for her husband's death, and set out to find Sherry. At Sherry's home, with Wayne there as a helpless witness, Julia shot and killed Sherry before turning the gun on herself.



11. Paul Raines


Paul was the estranged husband of Audrey Raines. He was a British businessman who got involved in the events of Day 4 after Audrey and her father, Secretary of Defense James Heller, were kidnapped. Audrey and Paul had been separated for some time, and although Audrey had been having a secret relationship with Jack and was happy, Paul was unaware of this and still harboured feelings for Audrey, as well as the strong hope and belief that he and Audrey could still reunite and make their marriage work. When CTU discovered Paul's name on the lease of the building where the Day's terrorist attacks had been planned, Jack suspected that Paul might be even more involved, perhaps without realising it. He interrogated Paul in his hotel room after setting a trap through a meeting with Audrey. Paul was crushed that Audrey had set him up like that. Audrey was then shocked and distraught when she witnessed Jack torturing her husband, seeing a side to Jack she'd only heard about before. Despite this rocky start, Jack and Paul were able to work together later in the Day when they needed to infiltrate a company's records where the lead terrorist had been an employee. However, the company was concerned with their 'good name' being associated with the Day's horrific events, so their internal security services worked against Jack and Paul, even to the point of setting off an EMP (in an attempt to destroy the evidence) and exchanging gunfire. Paul was captured and wounded by one of the company's henchmen, but Jack rescued him and they escaped into the street with the evidence. They were later cornered in the deserted streets of LA and set upon by more of the company's henchmen in a shootout. Thankfully, CTU reinforcements eventually arrived and helped rescue them. As Jack was handing the document over to someone from CTU to look into it, the head henchman, who was only pretending to be dead at that point, fired at Jack - but Paul saw him take the shot and instinctively pushed Jack out of the way, ending up taking the bullet himself. Jack had him rushed to CTU for emergency medical treatment, and it looked like he'd survive after all. Audrey even told Paul at his bedside that she'd come back to him and they'd make their marriage work. But later in the Day, Jack rushed into the overworked medical unit at CTU and demanded that the doctors abandon Paul's operation to save the life of a witness who contained their only lead on the terrorists' major threat. When the doctor refused to stop operating on Paul, Jack pulled a gun on him and ordered him to save his witness instead. Everyone in the room, including Audrey and Curtis, knew that this would result in Paul's death, but Jack knew it was the only way to get the information they needed from the witness so they could capture the terrorists and prevent the planned major catastrophe. It was a harrowing moment in the surgery when Paul died (despite Jack's own best efforts to revive him) and Audrey completely lost it at him. She had to be restrained by a handful of security personnel while she rasped bloody murder across the operating room at Jack: "You killed him! He saved your life and you killed him! It's your fault, Jack, and I hate you!" It was very intense and excellently acted. Jack was later deeply troubled by guilt and anguish, and although Audrey ended up forgiving Jack for his actions not long before the end of the Day, the event was undeniably the death knoll for their relationship.



12. Yusef Auda


Yusef was an intelligence agent working for an unnamed Middle Eastern country during Day 2. Although he was initially excluded from CTU operations because then boss Tony Almeida didn't trust him (and also because CTU was working on evidence that implicated Yusef’s country in the attack), he later helped Jack in the field and earned everyone’s trust. While he was heading to CTU with proof that the Day’s terrorists were acting alone, he was attacked by a racist mob of thugs who thought he was behind the Day's attack. The three men who attacked him took Jack’s girlfriend Kate Warner (who was accompanying Yusef to the relative safety of CTU) back to her house to steal some money. Jack managed to find Yusef on the side of the road, badly injured, and he was able to tell Jack where the mob had taken Kate before he died.



13. Ronnie Lobell


Ronnie was the Director of Field Operations at CTU during Day 4 under Erin Driscoll, a role he obtained after Erin had fired Jack from the position sometime after Day 3 for being ‘a liability’. He initially clashed with Erin over her decision to allow Jack to help them with the investigation, but he followed her orders and worked with Jack. When the two men located one of the terrorists they were looking for, they argued over whether they should apprehend him straight away or follow him to see if he’d lead them to the kidnapped Secretary Heller and his daughter Audrey Raines. In frustration, Ronnie handcuffed Jack to a handrail and attempted to arrest the terrorist, however the terrorist had caught sight of the pair and quickly pulled out a gun and shot Ronnie. As he was dying, Ronnie used the last of this strength to throw his handcuff keys to Jack, allowing him to free himself and follow the terrorist undetected (although he would later sense he was being followed and commit suicide; leaving Jack without a lead to find the kidnappers, Secretary Heller, and his girlfriend Audrey).



14. Carla Matheson


Carla was the wife of Gary Matheson and the mother of Megan Matheson. She was Kim Bauer’s employer during Day 2, when Kim had the job of being Megan’s day carer, or nanny. When Kim witnessed Gary beat Carla and then try to hit Megan as well (striking Kim in the attempt), she fled the house with Megan in tow and spent most of the rest of the Day trying to avoid Gary’s retribution as he attempted to track them down. Meanwhile, Gary beat Carla to death for assisting Kim to flee with Megan. Later, when Kim and her boyfriend Miguel are driving Gary’s car and get pulled over by police, Carla’s body is discovered in the boot (or ‘trunk’) of the car, resulting in the pair’s wrongful arrest for murder.



15. Claudia


Claudia was the girlfriend of Day 3 bad guy Hector Salazar. Her last name is unknown. She had a father called Oriol and a (much) younger brother called Sergio who lived with her on the Salazars’ property in Mexico. She disliked the way Hector treated her and her family. While working there undercover, Jack started up a clandestine relationship with her, promising to whisk her, Oriol and Sergio across the border to safety in return for her help with his investigation into the Salazars. She agreed, but was accidentally killed by wild gunfire during their getaway attempt; but not before she enabled captured CTU agent Chase Edmunds to escape execution. Both Oriol and Sergio made it to the USA unharmed to start a new life.



16. Lee Castle


Lee was an efficient and highly skilled CTU field agent during Day 4. He was originally portrayed as a brutal, out-of-line soldier (even physically assaulting the wife of a terrorist at an early part of the Day), but for the rest of the Day he was portrayed as a more likeable character. It is likely that his earlier behaviour was a result of him being extremely displeased with Jack’s decision to bring disgraced former CTU chief Tony Almeida into the investigation, although after Jack took him aside and basically appealed to his sense of duty to work with Tony rather than against him, Castle smartened up considerably and became quite likeable (to me, anyway). Not too long before the end of the Day, Castle was executed in cold blood by recurring ‘bad guy’ Mandy, who decided to take Tony hostage instead of the injured Castle. The part of Lee Castle was probably created to fill the void left by actor Daniel Dae Kim (who played likeable CTU field agent Tom Baker) leaving the show after Days 2 and 3 to join the regular cast of Lost.



17. President David Palmer


Day 5 started out with the most shocking ten minutes of television I think Wifey and I have ever witnessed (fiction, at least). David Palmer began his tenure on 24 as an aspiring African-American politician who was a Democratic Senator from Maryland whose life was threatened on more than one occasion on the day of the California Primary Election. He was married to scheming schemer Sherry Palmer, in whom he lost all trust by the end of Day 1 when her true motives and scheming behaviour was uncovered. By Day 2 they had divorced, but they still stayed in contact as David chose to enlist her help as an unofficial assistant/advisor during the terrorist attacks of both Day 2 and Day 3. David and Sherry have two children, Keith and Nicole. During Day 1, Keith came under (false) suspicion of murdering Nicole’s rapist several years earlier; a rumour that David initially wanted to quash but eventually decided to tackle head-on in the media so that thereafter they’d all have nothing to hide. One of his aides (working for the manipulative and twisted Sherry) tried to seduce him, so her had her fired for her deceit and poor judgement. Uncharacteristic for a politician, David built his political career on integrity, honesty, commitment and honour. He appeared to genuinely care about the welfare of the American people. At the start of Day 2, David was revealed to have been successfully elected (sometime after the events of Day 1) as the first African-American President in the history of the United States. He personally called Jack Bauer to ask him to take up his CTU position again, despite Jack now being an emotional wreck after the loss of his wife Teri a year earlier. Jack responded to the President’s call (he had previously been ignoring calls from CTU), and eventually managed to find and safely detonate the nuclear bomb the terrorists had hidden in the city. David’s Chief of Staff, Mike Novick, was responsible for orchestrating a bid from Vice President Jim Prescott to remove David from office for refusing to retaliate to three (unnamed) Middle Eastern countries who appeared to be behind the Day’s attacks. Jack has assured David that the evidence implicating those countries was false, and David trusted Jack enough to hold off on any retaliation that may later prove to have been a major international atrocity. When the evidence was, indeed, proven to be false, Acting President Jim Prescott apologised to David, and he and the other members of the cabinet who had voted to remove David from power a few hours earlier offered their resignations. David surprised them by refusing, saying that they had acted with their best intentions for the country at heart and had based their decision on the information available to them – he would not punish them for doing what they honestly thought was the right thing. However, Mike Novick was not so fortunate. David said he expected more from his Chief of Staff, like trust and integrity, and demanded his resignation for his part in the affair. Day 3 saw David’s campaign for Presidential re-election moving along at full steam. He was involved in a televised debate with his opponent, Republican Senator John Keeler. David’s new lover, his physician Dr Anne Packard, was implicated (again, falsely) in a scandal that involved her ex-husband’s pharmaceutical company. Keeler planned to reveal this information during the live debate, and although David’s new Chief of Staff, his brother Wayne Palmer, managed to convince David that paying off Anne’s ex-husband was the best way of making the problem go away, Anne pleaded with him not to do it, so he changed his mind and weathered the storm. Anne’s ex-husband later killed himself because he was facing financial ruin, but not before he gave Anne the evidence she required to exonerate herself. Anne later broke off her relationship with David because she decided she couldn’t live in the spotlight, where he would always be. When Wayne later admits to an affair with Julia Milliken, the wife of one of David’s largest financial backers, David is horrified and angry with him for placing them all in such a volatile position. Although now history, Alan Milliken found out about the affair and demanded that David fire Wayne. Trying to make the problem go away, Wayne visited Julia and asked her to convince Alan to drop the demand. She agreed, but only if Wayne would start up his affair with her again. She didn’t want to leave the comfort and wealth of her husband but claimed to love Wayne. Wayne was unable to put himself in the position of ‘kept man’ again, and refused her offer. Sherry then made matters even worse by visiting Alan and arguing with him about the demand for Wayne being given his marching orders. During the argument, Alan – a wheelchair-bound former stroke victim – started to have a heart attack, but Sherry held Julia back, preventing Alan from reaching his medication in time to save his life. After the two woman had watched Alan die in front of them, Sherry assured Julia that she could now have everything she wanted: Wayne’s love and Alan’s wealth. But after Sherry left, Julia had an attack of the conscience and admitted the truth to the police. Sherry then used her powers of influence on David (and the threat that any murder scandal involving his ex-wife would severely injure his re-election campaign), managed to convince David to lie to the chief of police about Sherry’s whereabouts during the night. Then, in a masterful stroke of double-blackmail, Sherry said she would provide David’s political opponent, John Keeler, with evidence of David’s lie (which would ruin him once and for all) unless he agreed to her terms: Re-marrying her. David couldn’t do it, and when he met with Keeler, he agreed to his terms, which were to stand down from re-election and enable Keeler to win the presidency. Defeated and somewhat disillusioned, David agreed to do so. Meanwhile, Julia Milliken heard that Sherry had an alibi for Alan’s death and realised she would be taking the rap on her own, so she went around to Sherry’s apartment, pulled a gun on her, and killed her. Then, to Wayne Palmer’s horror as he looked on helpless, she shot herself in the head. When David heard about the murder-suicide, he and Wayne shared their mutual grief. In Day 4, John Keeler is shown to indeed be the president, but Air Force One is shot down by a bad guy, leaving bumbling and inefficient Vice President Charles Logan to take office (due to Keeler lapsing into a coma). Mike Novick, whose career has brought him to be a high-ranking (but unrevealed) member of Logan’s staff, suggests to the overwhelmed and flaky new President that he call in ‘someone who can help’. The next scene shows ex-President David Palmer receiving a call for assistance from Mike, and this brings David back into the game late in the fourth season. Arriving at the White House to help Logan run things and make important decisions behind the scene, Palmer immediately falls back into the flow of things with ease, and he is able to assist Jack in stopping the Day’s terrorism attacks. Logan, however, takes all the credit for David’s decisions (both to the media and to David’s face), and David once again realises what he dislikes about politicians. However, his friendship with Mike is somewhat healed through the events of the Day, and Mike is able to leak information to him about the intended fate of Jack Bauer at the hands of Logan and his Chief of Staff Walt Cummings. This in turn leads to David forewarning Jack to avoid his impending murder, and when Jack fakes his own death to fool the US and Chinese governments (with the aid of Tony Almeida, Michelle Dessler and Chloe O’Brian), he calls David back to thank him. Speaking to Jack for what will later turn out to be the very last time, David tells him that “for all intents and purposes, Jack Bauer is dead.” Jack responds with “Mr President, it’s been an honour”, and David replies, “Same for me, my friend.” Eighteen months later, as the story of Day 5 begins, David is found at his brother Wayne’s LA apartment, writing his memoirs. As he takes a break to contemplate the ‘Sherry’ chapters, an assassin from the rooftop of a nearby building fires at David through the window, shooting him through the neck and killing him instantly. Utterly distraught, Wayne immediately runs to his older brother’s side, but there is nothing he can do for him. It is later revealed that David had placed a late-night call to President Logan’s wife Martha the night before, planning to meet up with her later in Day 5 to tell her about evidence he had uncovered implicating Logan in a planned attack on American soil, which were the events that started the Day. Due to old friends reuniting (mostly working in honour of David’s memory), Jack, Wayne, Martha, Mike, Chloe, Aaron Pierce and others managed to bring Logan down and allow David’s remains to be flown back to Washington DC for a full Presidential burial without his assassination remaining unresolved and the perpetrators avoiding capture or death. David Palmer was Wifey’s favourite 24 character of all time (and my second favourite behind Tony Almeida), so the first five minutes of Day 5 were highly turbulent and emotional. We were initially delighted to see him on screen (“Yay! He’s returned again!”) and then horrified to see him take a bullet and die almost immediately. But worse was to come …



18. Michelle Dessler


Michelle joined CTU in Day 2 as a simple Internet Protocol Manager. Considering the level of power she would rise to in just three years, she was clearly shown to be highly skilled and excellent at her job. She worked closely with Tony and Jack to prevent the nuclear bomb going off in the heart of LA. Due the Day, her casual flirting with Tony escalated into a deep attraction, and although she initially sided with Jack on an important decision rather than Tony (once Tony was placed in charge of CTU following George’s heroic sacrifice in the Mojave Desert), Tony later realised that Jack and Michelle were right all along and their relationship was back on track. In the three years that lapsed between Days 2 and 3, she and Tony were married, leading to interesting situations and arguments at CTU when their opinions differed. Not long into Day 3, however, Tony took a bullet to the neck on the field, and although he recovered quickly, Michelle had to step up to the role of Director of CTU for the duration of Tony’s incapacitation. Michelle bravely led a field team into the Chandler Plaza Hotel, which had been contaminated with the Cordilla virus, despite there being no cure once someone is contaminated. Thankfully, about 2% of the population is naturally immune to the virus, and time was the only way to tell who would die and who would survive. Michelle was fortunate enough to be one of the survivors, and although Tony was frustrated that she’d put her life on the line like that, he was happy to hear she had not died from the virus. However, after being cleared to leave the hotel, she was captured by bad guy Saunders’ men and Tony was contacted to say that if he (Tony) didn’t help Saunders evade capture by CTU, Michelle would be killed. Placed in a horrible situation, Tony chose to protect the woman he loved, and gave conflicting orders to a field team that was surrounding Saunders’ building, effectively leaving the back entrance open so Saunders could escape. Although Michelle was later rescued and Saunders captured (and later killed by the distressed widow of another CTU employee who fell to Saunders’ evil deeds of the Day), Tony was arrested for treason and led off to prison. Thanks to testimony from Jack Bauer and outgoing President David Palmer, Tony was released from prison but had suffered so much from his ordeal that unemployment, a violent temper and a dependency on alcohol soon overtook his life. As Michelle would later tell him, after everything he’d done to hold on to her, he only ended up pushing her away himself (although she didn’t put it as eloquently as I did). Reluctantly, Michelle decided to leave Tony and was posted to CTU in Seattle, where she met Bill Buchanan (with whom she also had a relationship). She was later re-posted back to LA, but this time to ‘Division’ instead of CTU, and became an Assistant Special Agent in Charge. This in turn led to her being the perfect candidate for taking over CTU in its next major time of crisis (Day 4), after Erin Driscoll left for personal reasons. Secretary of Defense James Heller called Division to have Erin replaced, and they sent Michelle, much to Tony’s surprise, as he was helping Jack on the Day’s investigation at his friend’s request. Initially things were scratchy between the pair, and when Michelle overruled one of Tony’s decisions and he was later proven to be correct, she apologised to him for dismissing his opinions out-of-hand, promising to listen to his input in future. This admission and apology started to break down the walls that had been erected between them, and for the most part they started to get along once again. Tony saw Bill and Michelle interacting in another room and worked out that she’d had a relationship with him, and that made things a little strained between the two men for a short period. Bill was quick (a little too quick, in my opinion, actually) to back off and let Michelle go back to Tony if she so chose. When she chose to do exactly that towards the end of the Day, Bill barely blinked an eye. It was almost as if the writers had forgotten about that part of the back-story (or wanted us to forget about it so it didn’t ‘get in the way’ of the happy ending, or something). But before they could skip off into the sunset together (or sunrise, actually), Tony was called away on one last field mission, where he was captured and taken prisoner by the menacingly unmerciful Mandy. Mandy contacted Michelle on her mobile (cell) phone and demanded the same deal Saunders had demanded in Day 3; Tony’s life in return for Michelle to helping Mandy elude capture. We all knew Mandy wouldn’t keep her word and Tony was doomed either way, but Michelle was a wreck. She initially agreed to go along with the demand, but soon broke down in front of Bill and admitted she was being blackmailed. Bill and Jack helped orchestrate a field operation on Mandy’s location (a block of apartments), and when Mandy tricked everyone into thinking she and Tony blew themselves up in a car bomb because they saw CTU personnel hiding nearby, everyone but Jack believed the ruse. In actual fact Mandy had sent two neighbours out to a car rigged with explosives and blew them up to divert attention away from Mandy and Tony’s real location. When Jack worked it out and saved Tony’s life, he returned to Michelle at CTU and the two broke down and embraced. They swore to get back together again and make it work, and that they’d quit CTU to avoid life-threatening encounters like those with Saunders and Mandy. Michelle and Tony were two of the four people who aided Jack Bauer to fake his own death just minutes later (the other two being David Palmer and Chloe O’Brian), and this secret led to their eventual demise. Day 5 started with David Palmer’s assassination as discussed above, and then as Michelle ran to her car so she could return to CTU to help them in their efforts, a car bomb that had been left for Tony and herself was exploded, killing her instantly. Tony ran to her and cradled her body in his arms as he wept, only to be engulfed by another fireball from the nearby flaming car. Although Tony survived the fireball, it was the image of the pair disappearing into the flames that we were left with as we went to the first ad break of Day 5, and Wifey and I expected the worst. David Palmer was dead, Michelle Dessler was dead, and now it looked like Tony Almeida was also dead. THAT’s why we felt the opening ten minutes was the worst scripted TV we’ve ever seen. We loved those three characters and were heartbroken by their deaths (or apparent deaths). True, it set up the fifth season with some excellent script work, but doing so at the expense of fan-favourites like David and Michelle (and later others) was most distressing for us at the time.



19. Jenny McGill


Jenny may not have been the most sympathetic character ever to grace our screens, but she hardly deserved a bullet in the back of the head for her sins. Especially as she had a change of heart and wanted to return her brother Lynn's security keycard to him at CTU (after previously helping her deadbeat boyfriend Dwayne steal Lynn's wallet in the car park during a mugging she’d helped arrange). It was Dwayne who somehow made contact with one of Day 5's terrorists (a plot hole that was conveniently overlooked) and attempted to sell Lynn’s keycard to them. The terrorist executed the hapless pair when he arrived, and Lynn was doomed to die (he was one of 56 CTU employees to suffer the same fate) as a direct result of the keycard being in the hands of the terrorist. Having gained access to CTU, the terrorist set off a canister of the Sentox nerve gas that traveled through the air conditioning vents of the entire building.



20. Carrie Bendis


Carrie was the unlucky CTU employee who went looking for the anomaly she had discovered in a report and spoken about to Edgar in Day 5. Annoyed with the interruption, Edgar had told Carrie to go check it out herself. Unfortunately, the anomaly was that the terrorist with Lynn McGill’s keycard (mentioned above) was using the air conditioning vents to release the Sentox nerve gas, so when Carrie stumbled upon him, he killed her. Earlier in the Day, Lynn McGill had fired Carrie when he was in his ‘loose cannon’ stage. The irony here is that if Curtis, Edgar and Chloe hadn’t had Carrie reinstated for another few hours, she would have kept her job and her life. (Okay; strictly speaking, that’s not irony at all, but you know what I mean.) It was bad news for Edgar as well, because he felt bad for snapping at her earlier, so he went looking for her and discovered too late that she had been killed. He then returned to the main room without enough time to make it to a ‘safe room’ or to evacuate the building, and died from the Sentox poisoning.



21. Edgar Stiles


Edgar was an intelligence analyst at CTU who frequently expressed reluctance to defy authority, but was convinced on several occasions to do so by friend and fellow analyst Chloe O’Brian. At the beginning of Day 4, Edgar had worked at CTU for just over a month. Chloe mentioned that he was so nervous his first two weeks that she had to do his work for him. When Chloe noticed she was being monitored by other personnel within CTU, she coerced Edgar into breaking protocol and stealing her ‘some satellite’. Mean cow Marianne Taylor noticed, and she blackmailed Edgar into doing things for her or face losing his job. Chloe was ‘released’ from CTU (ie. fired), but she didn't rat Edgar out. Meanwhile, Marianne continued to use Edgar until he confronted her with possibly his best line ever: "Just because you overheard that conversation between Chloe and me doesn't mean that I'm your bitch." When the US's 104 nuclear reactors went into meltdown, Edgar singlehandedly wrote and executed a program to retake them from terrorist control. Edgar's program ended up saving all but six of the nuclear reactors from going into ‘meltdown’. However, of the remaining reactors, one was near his mother Lucy’s home. He tried to use his connections at CTU to save her, but the military resources in the area were so strained that no one could be spared. Despite his grief and anger at her death, Edgar continued to work and contribute to stopping the terrorist threat. Later, when Chloe returned to work after being asked back by Michelle Dessler, Edgar and Chloe bickered for several hours over which one was the other's boss. Edgar insisted that he was still Head of Comm because he’d been promoted in her absence. However, when Chloe had to go into the field for the first time, Edgar told her she was the best analyst they had (to which she smiled appreciatively and replied, “I know”). Edgar then reassured her he’d keep everything running smoothly at CTU. At the begining of Day 5, Edgar was able to warn Chloe of the threat to her life without even knowing she was being targeted. After wondering why Chloe was taking so long to show up for work, he called her mobile (cell) phone. Chloe was just about to get in her car, but Edgar told her the news about Tony and Michelle, and how Michelle was killed by a car bomb. Before opening her car door, Chloe looked around and saw someone watching her. Thanks to Edgar's warning she was able to get away, and then seek help from Jack. Later, Edgar learned about Spenser Wolff’s relationship with Chloe. After Spenser was found to be a mole for Walt Cummings, he was taken into custody. Chloe later fired Spenser and told him to go home. As Spencer walked away, Edgar told her she did the right thing. Chloe quickly told Edgar to shut up, but Edgar just smiled to himself. CTU was later attacked with Sentox gas while Edgar was looking for missing co-worker Carrie Bendis in the basement. Hearing of the lockdown and evacuation too late to run to a safe zone, Edgar returned to the main room, saw that the only survivors were huddled in the conference room, and realised there was nowhere he could go. Panicked, he called Chloe's name before succumbing to the effects of the gas and falling to the floor. Chloe watched helplessly as he died in front of her. We saw – but could not hear – Chloe calling out Edgar’s name through the glass wall of the conference room in despair as the silent clock counted down the last three seconds of the episode … it was quite heartbreaking. In the closing moments of the Day, CTU boss Bill Buchanan gave Chloe a picture of Edgar and herself that Bill had found in Edgar’s personal belongings. Finally able to show her grief, she was led away by her ex-husband Morris to talk about Edgar.



22. Lynn McGill


Lynn started out in Day 5 as a menacing busybody, sent to CTU by President Logan himself to ‘make things run smoothly’. In hindsight, one must wonder if in fact Logan hoped that Lynn’s interference with Bill Buchanan and the others at CTU would serve to slow them down and prevent them from operating at full capacity (so Logan himself could get away with his involvement in the Day’s activities). It certainly looks likely when you consider that after Lynn’s death, Logan sent in Karen Hayes and Miles Papazian to take control of CTU. The added pressure Logan was putting on Lynn didn’t help the younger man to think things through very clearly or rationally at times, although he started out doing the right thing and being honest and considerate. Despite his no-nonsense approach and how he liked to do things by the book, Lynn was responsible for identifying Jack’s coded message to Curtis and Bill that the team of field agents led by Curtis should not in fact burst through the wall during the airport siege as Jack was apparently telling them to. Lynn later acknowledged that he only researched ‘field team duress codes’ that had been active during Jack’s tenure at CTU based on Bill’s unswerving loyalty to Jack, so in effect Lynn had clearly demonstrated his ‘good guy’ status at this point. He trusted Bill’s instincts and got to the bottom of why Jack seemed to be advising something that didn’t seem to add up. Lynn started getting an undue amount of pressure placed on him by President Logan, and eventually his increasingly erratic behaviour escalated so much that Curtis (at Audrey’s plea) relieved Lynn of duty and had him placed in a holding room with a guard. A few other instances throughout the Day saw him trying to stand up to Bill, a man who was much older than he was but his inferior in the chain of command, and it is clear that when his sister and her boyfriend mugged him in the car park and stole his wallet (containing his CTU keycard), he was too embarrassed at losing face in front of the CTU personnel that he kept quiet about it (it’s not clear how he got back into the building without his keycard, however, seeing as we later see the terrorist who uses it as if it’s his own having to swipe his way into the building – another plot hole? If Lynn was ‘waved through’ by a guard who’d just seen him leave moments earlier, they should have shown that to avoid an apparent impossibility). His fear of embarrassment turned into a far greater problem when 56 CTU employees were killed by the Sentox gas that was released by the terrorist who used Lynn’s keycard to gain access to the building. These casualties including Carrie Bendis, Edgar Stiles, and eventually Lynn himself. Ultimately, though, he showed his true mettle when it was revealed that the only way to save the personnel locked in the various safe rooms was for him to run to the control room and manually override the air conditioning ventilation system that Chloe could not access from the locked-down control room. Despite meaning his certain death (and the death of the guard who was secured in the room with him), Lynn accepted the task and was successful in giving Chloe access to the ventilation system (which ultimately saved the lives of everyone else who was locked in a safe room), although by the time Lynn made it back to the guard in their ‘safe room’, both men could hold their breath no longer and were killed by the Sentox gas.



23. Tony Almeida


As already stated, Tony Almeida was my favourite character in 24ever. He started out in Day 1 as the person we, the audience, most suspected of being the CTU mole because he was constantly glaring at Jack and grumbling about him. He seemed to have the most motive. However, both Tony and Jack had been played for fools by the woman who was the link between them: Nina Myers. Once she was unmasked as the traitor, her plot to play them off each other was also revealed, and it is clear that in the space between Days 1 and 2, Jack and Tony became good friends. In fact, by Day 4, Jack was asking Tony why he didn’t call Jack for help when his marriage to Michelle fell apart. The two men went through a lot together, and ultimately Tony’s murder (as well as Michelle’s and President Palmer’s) was the key reason in Jack’s mind for executing double-crossing former CTU boss Christopher Henderson in cold blood, despite the bargain Jack had reached with Henderson to obtain his help in stopping the Day’s terrorists. But I’m getting ahead of myself. In Day 1, Tony didn’t get on well with Jack Bauer at all. In fact, he called George Mason to CTU (who initiated a lockdown) to investigate Tony’s claims of Jack’s incompetence. By the end of the Day, however, Tony was supporting Jack’s decisions to Ryan Chappelle and other bosses, even though a certain level of animosity remained between the two men at that time: “Let me save you some time, Mr Chappelle. I'm not the biggest fan of Jack Bauer. I don't agree with the way he delegates authority, and I don't like the way he runs operations. But since midnight last night, you won't get me to disapprove of a single action he’s taken.” In Day 2, Tony was second-in-command of CTU (underneath the now-demoted George Mason) and he started getting friendly with Michelle Dessler, a co-worker who he married in the following three-year gap. In Day 3, Tony was in charge of CTU and was part of a three-person undercover operation that placed Jack Bauer in the ‘bad guys’ Salazar’s property in Mexico as an apparent turncoat, and Gael Ortega as the supposed CTU mole pretending to work for the Salazars. When this was plan was eventually revealed to everyone else, and proven to be somewhat of a success, Michelle was insulted that he hadn’t told her about it. Tony took a bullet to the neck during the Day, and although he recovered quickly and retook command, Kim Bauer and Michelle had doubts about his ability to lead CTU through a crisis, so Michelle took their concerns to George Mason, effectively going over her own husband’s head. Tony was able to demonstrate that he was still functioning at 100%, and Michelle was forced to eat humble pie (although not literally). A considerable level of ‘frostiness’ therefore developed between the married couple during the Day, and it wasn’t until Michelle was first suspected of contracting the Cordilla virus (which she didn’t) and later kidnapped by the bad guy’s henchmen and her life threatened if Tony didn’t help him evade capture that Tony and Michelle – once eventually reunited – apologised and declared their love for each other again. Unfortunately, the powers that be weren’t as forgiving as Michelle about the whole incident, and Tony was arrested for treason. In the time that elapsed between Days 3 and 4, Jack and President Palmer had Tony pardoned and released from prison, but by then he was a changed man. He was angry and bitter, had trouble holding down a job, and had turned to the bottle for comfort, effectively pushing Michelle away and ending their marriage. When Jack turned to him for help in Day 4 because Tony was the only person he could trust, Jack was saddened to hear how badly his friend had been doing. Jack single-handedly arranged for Tony to assist him throughout the Day, which not only brought the old Tony back by reinvigorating his lost self-confidence, but gave him the opportunity to encounter his ex-wife when Michelle was called in to head up CTU after Erin Driscoll’s resignation for personal reasons. Tony and Michelle clashed at first, but gradually the two began to warm up to each other again, and near the end of the Day they had agreed to leave CTU and start a new life together. However, when Jack called Tony into the field, Tony was captured by Mandy, whose mean streak knows no bounds. Collectively, we held our breath as we assumed Tony and Michelle’s happy ending was not going to be realised. I personally feared the worst for Tony, and tried to prepare myself for his death before the end of Day 4. Mandy demanded that Michelle move LAPD units out of the area and clear a path for Mandy to escape. Michelle didn’t comply, and understandably thought she had lost Tony forever. However, due to Jack’s swift actions and clever field work, Tony was rescued and returned to Michelle. Day 5 saw them living together again, happily married, and running their own private security technology company. Moments after seeing the news that President David Palmer has been assassinated, Tony attempted to dissuade Michelle from going in to CTU to assist with the investigation. As she left the house to get in her car, he called a client to say he’ll be attending their meeting alone, but then hesitated. He added that he’ll actually have to cancel the meeting altogether, because he’s got to be with his wife. Just as he said that, Michelle's car exploded. He rushed outside but found her already dead on the lawn next to the car. As he held her, the fuel tank in the car ignited, causing a second explosion which critically injured him. He was rushed to CTU medical (where else?) and had to go into immediate surgery. He survived the blast, but was unconscious for around ten hours. When he awoke, Bill Buchanan lied to him about Michelle, saying that she was alive but in another hospital and he could see her later, to avoid Tony getting worse by going into shock. Tony was able to get to a CTU computer and look up Michelle’s details, where he learned that she was dead. He broke down into tears. Later, after surviving the Sentox gas attack on CTU, he discovered that the man in restraints who had been wheeled into the medical unit (one of the four ‘safe rooms’ during the Sentox release) was Christopher Henderson, a former CTU boss who was fired for corruption. Jack had previously told Tony that Henderson was the one responsible for David Palmer’s assassination and Michelle’s murder. Intending to avenge Michelle, Tony overpowered his doctor and the interrogation agent watching over Henderson, filled a syringe with a lethal dose of hyoscine-pentothol, and prepared to kill him. However, Tony realised he couldn’t do it. Unfortunately this moment of character development was broken by Henderson grabbing Tony’s arm and turning the syringe back onto himself, using it to stab Tony in the heart. As Henderson escaped, Tony collasped on the floor. Jack made it to his side and pleaded with him to ‘stay with him’, but Tony’s response was simply: “She’s gone, Jack” before dying. This death has been compared to Jack’s loss of Teri Bauer in many ways (both happened at CTU at the hands of a former CTU agent turned ‘bad guy’, etc). The most striking similarity is the image of Jack cradling Teri and Tony’s head in his arms as he weeps for them. I wasn’t happy when Tony was killed, but I couldn’t see where they might take his character in future seasons now that he’d lost Michelle. In a sense, he’d come full circle, and as much as it pained me to admit it, Tony was probably going to be happier dead, so he could reunite with Michelle somewhere else. On the other hand, it seemed like a senseless and much underrated death for such a huge character, and it’s not as if this is Buffy we’re talking about – once you’re dead on 24, you don’t come back!



24. Jack Bauer (He's actually still alive, but he died and was revived at the end of Day 4 – so technically, he counts. Plus, he rounds the list off nicely and makes it an even 24.)


Jack is, of course, the ridiculously competent hero of the series. He lasts full 24-hour periods with no sleep, no food, and no bathroom breaks (that we see him take, anyway). He’s stronger than Superman, more creative than Indiana Jones, and a better detective than Sherlock Holmes. But I love him. He’s great, and despite the show’s creators (and Kiefer Sutherland himself) often saying that one day the show will have to continue without him, I wouldn’t want it to. Jack’s simply got to survive, because the show’s all about him, really. Yeah, it’s an ensemble cast, but it’s still really about Jack. Here’s a brief list of what he’s lived through in the 5 Days we’ve witnessed his life: His previously broken-up marriage getting back together, his daughter being kidnapped (multiple times), his wife being kidnapped, his wife announcing she is pregnant again, his former lover turning out to be a terrorist mole, him saving a Presidential candidate from assassination (twice), his wife being killed – that’s Day 1. His daughter being hunted down by a killer, his grief over his wife costing him his relationship with his daughter, his daughter being falsely accused of murder, his daughter being kidnapped (again), his former boss being exposed to plutonium and dying in a plane to stop a bomb exploding, was forced to work with his former lover and his wife’s murderer – that’s Day 2. He got his daughter a job at CTU to keep her ‘safely under his watch’ (ie. to avoid her being kidnapped all the frickin’ time), had to deal with his young partner being in a secret relationship with his daughter and that she’d one day get the phone call to say her husband was dead, was forced to work with his former lover and his wife’s murderer (again), although he found it cathartic to execute her in cold blood later, he gave himself a heroin addiction to fool the bad guys that he was truly no longer working for CTU when he was undercover, he was forced to execute his frightened boss in cold blood at the demands of a blackmailing terrorist, he had to chop off the hand of his partner and his daughter’s boyfriend to save the day – that’s Day 3. After losing his job for his (now prior) heroin addiction, he was working for the Secretary of Defense, he was secretly dating the Secretary’s daughter, his own daughter was living in Italy with her boyfriend (whose hand had been surgically reattached), his friend the former President was no longer in office, the Secretary and his daughter (Jack’s girlfriend) being kidnapped by terrorists, torturing his girlfriend’s innocent ex-husband for information, disgusting his girlfriend with his capabilities, being saved from a bullet from his girlfriend’s ex-husband, forcing doctors to abandon their operation on his girlfriend’s ex-husband (who died as a result), attacking a Chinese consulate illegally, being identified as the one responsible for the illegal attack, having to fake his own death and live under the radar (without contacting any of his friends or his daughter) – that’s Day 4. He was framed for the assassination of his friend the former President, he lost two other close friends to the same murderers, he uncovered a plot involving a former boss and the new President, he encountered his angry daughter who had mourned him and had trouble getting over his apparent death, he nearly cost the life of his new girlfriend’s son, tried to save a fifteen-year-old Russian sex slave from captivity, executed in cold blood his former boss-turned-traitor, was reunited with his former girlfriend who said they could start again, and was finally captured by the Chinese government and shipped away in isolation for unknown torture and punishment - that's Day 5. So will he survive? And how will he escape from wherever he’s being held and return to LA within the 24-hour time period allowed in Day 6?




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There’s a lot more to come in Part 2 of this post! In the meantime, if you feel you really need to know more about the show, feel free to visit this site at your leisure.


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